So I lied to my boyfriend about talking to one of my friends. He was an old friend of mine from a while back and we met at the supermarket. We exchanged numbers just to catch up and my boyfriend saw some texts that I sent him. They weren't bad or anything. Just questions like "what do you do" and "whereabouts do you stay" and "what have you been up to lately"... but he still called the number when I wasn't looking. Then he asked me whose number it was an i said it was my friends boyfriend's phone that she used cause her phone was broken. He didn't believe me and kept telling me to tell him the truth. Today I broke down and told him and apologized for lying and he said it was over... it can't be over!? All I did was text him!
I don't know what to say to him besides that I'm sorry and that I love him with all my heart... what do I do now?!
2007-02-02 05:53:13 · 30 answers · asked by Sad Eyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have a big thing with honesty, the problem isnt that you texted another guy, women have friends who are guys, guys have friends who are girls, its totally fine. But the problem is that you felt te need to lie to him about it, and there was no need. If you will lie about something so small, then he will be thinking what else will you and have you lied about.
It could well be over, trust is the most important thing in a relationship and if it goes, you dont have a relationship anymore. If this is the case, then learn the lesson and tell people the truth in future, especially when it doesn't need to be lied about. Im sure had he seen the texts and you said "Its an old friend, I just ran into him again" he should have been fine about it.
Tell him how much you love him and that you are sorry, but dont expect miracles. Honesty is a really important thing to many people, me included, so I really understand where your boyfriend is coming from. But also I know that you feel you didnt do anything by texting a friend, and you didnt, it as the lie that made this the way it is.
Good Luck
2007-02-02 06:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by PleaseNoMoreNumbers 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a very simple one really.
1) Him.
Bottom line, if he does not trust you, and overreacts like this, then you are better off without him.
2) You
Do you really believe you took this other guys number in such an innocent manner? I don't care really, but you know the answer. If so then you are guilty of at least not thinking it all out. If you love your BF that much wouldn't you consider that when it was happening?
Sounds like you BOTH have some growing up to do. If nothing else, you will learn from this and hopefully be abel to apply it to your life moving forward.
Good luck.
2007-02-02 14:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by Scott D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You lied and that's BIG. Now he has every reason to not trust you. Even if you didn't do anything with this guy! Time is going to be the only healer. Right now he doesn't trust anything you say. It was very wrong of you to lie. Especially when you really were not doing anything.
Let him cool down and stay loyal to him, if you really love him. And if he really loves you, he will see that you really are sorry and you two can try and mend what was wronged. But be prepared to be questioned for a long time. Trust is a hard thing to restore!
2007-02-02 13:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by naliwad 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey sorry to hear that. Well, i kinda did same thing couple of months ago and felt stupid about asking my girlfriend about the numbers and text messages. She was flirting about that's besides the point. If he can not believe you first time he will never believe you other time too. I guess love is based on trust and if you can not trust someone then you can not love them. Even after reasonable explaining if he can not believe then he won't believe you in coming days too. Let it pass for a while. If he cares about your feeling then he will call you back in few days and you would be back together. Take care.
2007-02-02 14:04:02 · answer #4 · answered by Raj 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that your guy is being way too harsh for just one little lie. If you have never lied before and you obviously not into the guy, then maybe your boyfriends is a little too jealous. Explain to him what happened and tell him that you didn't want anything with the guy. And by the way, why did you lie? There is nothing wrong with catching up with long-lost buds. So maybe you knew that your guy would be jealous and that's why you did it...It sounds like you guys didn't have a lot of trust in the relationship from the beginning.
2007-02-02 13:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by Eazy Duz It 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is still something inside you that still cares for the old boyfrien or you would never tried to contact him again. Your new boy friend has lost trust in you and that you will never regain. You will have to move on but remember this and hopefully if you are lucky enough to find a true love that is your soul mate you won't make the same mistake. What is past is past and time cannot be replaced.
2007-02-02 13:59:58 · answer #6 · answered by tman 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, he might get over it after you've suffered for a while.
But it's not that you lied about who you were messaging, it's that you were messaging a guy from your past, and he wonders how far it would have gone had he not found out. Then you lied, so he wonders what else you've lied about.
Some people have zero tolerance for liars, and maybe this is a lesson in life you learn.
2007-02-02 13:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you were wrong, and you didn't tell him the truth because you just thought you would text a few times and see what the guy had been up to, tell him what you had been up to and that's it! Tell him if the tables were turned you'd be just as pissed and from now on you will be 100% open with him. If that doesn't work text the long lost guy and boom your healed! Good Luck Hun!
2007-02-02 13:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If it was innocent you shouldn't have lied, you just appear more guilty.
But since you say it was innocent, then he's very jealous and doesn't trust you. You can't have a relationship without trust.
So if he can't trust you on this imagine how bad it will be later.
Example : What do you mean you're going to the market alone , I know what you did last time.
He needs to trust you more. so let him cool off.
2007-02-02 15:00:38 · answer #9 · answered by Venom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, it seems like your boyfriend doesn't trust you when you told him that it was just innocent text messages. Where there is no trust, there is no real love, or relationship. Second this guy seems too possessive of you. He doesn't own you. You still are entitle to do things without consulting him first. If he doesn't come back, good riddence, he doesn't deserve you.
2007-02-02 13:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by WC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋