My dad is 40yrs old and goes to work everyday. He works in a office doing work on the computer. He then comes home and goes straight to the internet and plays the Sims and second life games until dinner. He then eats and goes back to the computer until bed. 11pm. He is on the computer ALL THE TIME. My family is very upset with him. My grandparents travel 300 miles to visit. Where is my dad? On the computer. The family is starting to think that he has something against them! He has a very addictive personality. He is a recovering alcholic and now he has a internet addiction. He also never wants to go and do anything and doesnt hold a conversation. How can we tell him nicely that we want to see him more? When we ask him to visit us, he tells us to go in the home office with him while he plays games... Please help us.
2007-02-02 05:14:21 · 15 answers · asked by hollie_c_sharp64012 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dad needs a family intervention. You all need to get him in a room at the same time and talk with him about how his addiction is making you all feel unloved. Personally I like the shock method of attention too. You walk up and say dad I'm pregnant? That will gain you his full attention, then you tell him that say something that shocking is the only way to gain his attention. Let him know how much you all individually need him. One person at a time saying things will not sink it into his head, but if everyone moves in together, he may just listen. He should have some set times that belong to him on the computer and the rest belongs to the family. If he disagrees, through a Brick through it and see how he deals with that anger.
Tracylyn S
2007-02-02 05:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right- it is an addiction. People with addictive natures tend to have trouble with anything that offers them any type of gratification. I have this problem myself. There are certain games on the computer I can't let myself play because I can't quit. Thank God your dad isn't drinking anymore! But he's still hurting his family. I think this calls for the same type of intervention you would have to use if he were still drinking. Everyone get together, and firmly, but lovingly tell him how his addiction makes you feel, and that if he doesn't get help and quit, you will leave him alone to enjoy his games. It's a hard thing to do, but be tough. He probably will need some kind of counseling, otherwise, he may just turn back to his other addiction- drinking. Hoping the best for your family!
2007-02-02 13:32:08 · answer #2 · answered by BB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A recovering alcoholic is one that goes to meetings regularly and stays in touch with other recovering alcoholics. If your father is not doing those things he is what they call a dry drunk. This still is a lot better than an active alcoholic, but statistics say it will only be a matter of time before he relapses. Trading vices is a common behavior for individuals with a predisposition to addiction. He needs to get back to active socializing and attend the AA meetings that are necessary for a quality sobriety.
2007-02-02 13:30:27 · answer #3 · answered by diamondbullet66 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Addictive personality traits are very hard to break on one's own. The road to recovery from his present addiction will only take him to another addiction. The optimal condition would be to get him interested in an addiction from which you can all benefit as a family. He will need professional assistance. Seek the advice of a seasoned professional in this field. All addictions leave collateral damage. A professional can make the damage less negative. Good luck!
2007-02-02 13:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well why do nt u go and play a few games with him and then after a whileu could say ok dad lets turn off the p c and talk i have to say i am the same with the internet but if my family came to see me i would nt put on the p c try to see what gets out of playing games/internet maybe its a way of relaxing after work and stopping him from drinking talk to him
2007-02-02 13:20:40 · answer #5 · answered by dd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's just tranfsfered his addictions, meaning that inside he's still very unstable. though its probly better than his drinking, it's stilll his fix.
try to look at it from his perspective as an addict. do you guys sound like you may be harping and harping on about what he should/or needs to do, and he just wants to go and hide?
try a different approach, it's your dad, go for a hike with him and talk it out, let him know that you love him and understand now that he is still struggling with his addiction and that you want to help him through it Without demands, and accept that we can all be weak at times.
you also don't want to walk on eggshells around him and make it obvious that you guys act differently, or whisper stuff when he leaves the room, that's also not a great feeling , you know, just be open. its family.
2007-02-02 13:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like my ex husband he sent our (than ) 4 year old to his room for some reason and than left him there for 8 hours because he was so busy playing diablo that he "lost track of time" when i got home from work my poor boy had peed himself and was starving so later that night (i was home for like two hours before my than hubby even knew it he was so involved) when he and my son was sleeping i smashed the crap out of that CD and the computer it self it was great than i packed my son and i up and off we went i recommend showing this to your mom and have her threaten to do just what i did . where is my ex now you ask oh he is playing some stupid war game and my son who is now 8 almost 9 hates to go to his house every weekend because he says his dad pays no attention to him and he sometimes had to make his own meals etc so now he goes every other week end and i have told my ex if he can't control his game time when his only son is there he didn't have to come at all so now he lays off except when my son is sleeping but my son has also told me that sometimes he'll (my ex ) fall asleep in his computer chair so good luck hide the computer or sell it or have you mom keep the power cord somewhere and than give it to him occasionally if he's gonna act like a child might as well treat him as one....
2007-02-02 13:42:44 · answer #7 · answered by auntie s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The computer is his new addiction hes substituting this for alcohol. You need to have some sort of family intervention or get him some help cause it seems like its really hurting your family you gotta wake him up!
2007-02-02 13:37:51 · answer #8 · answered by chelzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him some questions about whats going on at work maybe he is getting bullied or maybe he is stressed and playing second life games could be his way of his relaxation time so if not asking him works go to ur dads office and ask them is he ok and he is not being bullied
2007-02-02 13:19:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, that's very sad.
Unplug the computer! Cut the wire!
2007-02-02 13:17:25 · answer #10 · answered by mc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋