so... my grandma lived with us and I have a whole bunch of things for my wedding stored in the hutch and when grandma moved out I came to the realization that my still wraped cake cutter and serving stuff is gone... so... what should I do that would not make my grandmother feel attacked (when she moved out she calimed that it was because I was unwelcoming, but my parents and all of my other relatives have told me that the reason that she gave was just an excuse and they have seen me interact and I have been sweet...) so what should I do?
2007-02-02 04:27:09 · 11 answers · asked by Sidney 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
also my mom has noticed that half of her dishes are gone from my grandmother loaning them out before she left and doesnt remember who she lent them to... so frustrating!!!
2007-02-02 04:28:11 · update #1
Save yourself the headache sweetheart! Go buy a new set, and thank God that crazy woman is out of your house!
2007-02-02 04:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like Grandma may have some issues. If I were you, I'd keep my stuff locked up when she's around and buy a new cake cutter and server. If you can pull it off, call her in a panic and tell her that you've misplaced them and wanted to see if she could help you remember where you had them last.
Some of the things that you describe: theft, paranoia and forgetfulness are hallmarks of Alzheimer's. Grandma needs to be checked out for everyone's sake.
2007-02-02 04:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by Susan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though grandma is a family member, she is stealing from the family. The family needs to confront her and get back what belongs to them. And when she visits again, make sure she only leaves with what she arrived with.
Some times stealing is a form of dementia where the person actually things the items are theirs and not trying to take something that belongs to someone else. If you think this is the case, you need to get some help for her.
Just think, are the items worth what emotional outcomes could result in getting the items back!!
2007-02-02 04:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try making it a whole day with her, tell her you would like to come over and maybe go through the things in the hutch. Say, "I was just thinking about my wedding and remembered you had some of the things...." Try to put some kind of spin on it that doesn't make her feel like you are coming just to raid her stuff.
2007-02-02 04:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by Scooter Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sweetly tell grandma that some of your wedding things are in her hutch and if she fusses at all tell her that you would like for her to consider them her wedding present to you. She probably won't be buying a large gift anyway and she will fulfill that obligation and make you happy at the same time.
2007-02-02 04:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by bevrossg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just to keep the peace, I would go over when Grandma wasn't at home and look for your stuff. Get mom to help. Have her take Grandma out to lunch, or shopping. Grandma sounds like she starting to "loose" it. If you get your stuff back, she probably won't even notice it missing. Good luck.
2007-02-06 04:06:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look around again and be SURE they're gone. Ask your grandmother if she packed them by mistake. If she says she didn't, then you can either cause a big stink about it or buy new ones. They aren't too expensive, and it's an item that no one notices and you won't use again.
2007-02-02 06:35:59 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of accusing her of purposely taking them mention calmly that you think you may have left them in the hutch and unknowingly she took them when she left with the hutch. Chances are she doesnt even realize she has them and would be more then happy to get them back to you.
2007-02-02 04:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just go and buy all the things she took or loaned out. Why bother asking her for them and just cause her to say more things about you. It is better to leave things alone sometimes. Good luck
2007-02-03 17:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her, Hey grandma, do you remember seeing this items while you were there? If she has, ask her where. Do not accuse her of taking them. Trying to be understanding. But, I would also be glad she is not living with me anymore.
2007-02-02 04:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋