i babysit for my daughter every weekday.ireally need to look for work as things are a bit of a struggle just now.my friends say i should ask to be paid for watching the children but i dont like to and my daughter has never offered.there are 2 paypackets going into her home.what should i do.am i wrong in thinking she should pay up
2007-02-02 04:26:23 · 34 answers · asked by just a mum 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Vlad---i babysit FOR my daughter
Travis---i have done this willingly for free now for 7 yrs.but money is tight now.as i have only 1 paypacket comeing in now.
thank you to all who have answered and i am going to take on board all you say.thanks again
2007-02-02 04:48:20 · update #1
1 is 7 yrs the other is 2
2007-02-02 05:36:30 · update #2
No, you are not wrong.
My sister-in-law is doing the same thing to her mother. Her mother is not working and hasn't for many years due to some mental issues. My sister-in-law has her mom watch her child so she doesn't have to pay for daycare. My theory is, even though it's family, she should at least offer to pay.
On the other hand, when I watch my neice, I don't think I should get paid. I don't see anything wrong with family helping out from time to time. But, even though I don't want to be paid, out of etiquette, she should still offer.
I would just tell her you're low on funds and she may need to start looking for a sitter. If that doesn't raise the flag for her, just allow her to find someone else.
Good luck :)
2007-02-02 04:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by Sera B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your daughter your situation,If she didn't have you she would need to put the kids into child care everyday and that would cost more than giving you something.
We were in the same situation my mother used to babysit our kids and at first she refused any money as we provided food for her while she was there and if the kids were going some where we always left money and my husband picked her up and dropped her back at her house when she finished.So she never wanted anything but gradually we managed to get her to take something when we explained how much she was appreciated and how much she saved us every month She liked the perks of her job (that's what she called it)getting to know her grandchildren and the holidays she went on,we didn't take her on holiday to watch the kids but as a thank you.
I think that grandparents are taken for granted and your daughter need to get a grip of reality and give you some sort of payment or you should leave and get a job then she will find out how well of she was with you.
2007-02-04 23:02:57 · answer #2 · answered by Mea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your daughter that you will be looking for a job soon because the money right now is a little tight for you explain that if she wants she could pay you instead for watching the kids instead of finding daycare and that why she does not need to go looking for someone she can trust or that you will let her know when you find a job but that you are planning on looking and telling them that you can start asap so that she may want to start looking now so she is not left with no daycare and just state it like a normal conversation not so much a question just the way it is going to be and she may say oh i might as well pay you then a babysitter and have to spend the time looking for one etc and you say ok what ever is easier for you honey i am just glad you understand i need to get a job but i would much rather watch the kids and if i can get the money i need and do it by watching the kids then it works out for us both!
2007-02-02 04:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with your daughter.Let her know that while you have enjoyed the time you have watched the children that your finances are tight and you must seek a full time job. Your daughter is aware that you are a 1 income family so she shouldn't be surprised that finances may be tight.( the cost of everything is going up for everybody, including you). Your daughter has not offered to compensate you ,even nominally, for your past efforts. I think you should probably seek work outside your home. You will get a regular pay check and set hours. You won't hear, "Sorry mom, I can't pay you we have some bills to pay" or "something came up".You can let your daughter know that you still want to see the grandchildren whom you love dearly.Just out of curriosity does your daughter's mother-in-law work outside the home or watch the grand children on a regular basis.The grandchildren also benefit from daycare because they learn to adapt to new situations and to socialize with other children. It also helps prepare them for school. By caring for your grandchildren less , you will find you appreciate your time spent with them. You want to be the grandma not the babysitter.
2007-02-02 05:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a difficult one because they've probably got used to you babysitting and to be honest just think you enjoy it. Perhaps have a nice little chat with your daughter and son in law and say that although you love your grandchildren very much, you would like to go back to work as you need the money. Tell her that you value her opinion on how you should, as a family, manage the childcare situation. It may be that she has the bright idea to continue the arrangement but by paying you instead. At least she would feel it was her idea. Or else it may be that she decides to send the children to a registered childminder in which case you would be free to seek employment in whichever field you wished.
2007-02-02 05:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two paypackets does not mean she is well off. With the cost of mortgages now, we both work and still have to follow a strict budget each week, and we have a 'low' mortgage. Come school term when new shoes are needed, it usually has to come out of the kids Christmas money.
I would be wary of causing friction between you, so just mention that you are having to look for work and it may mean you will be unable to babysit. If she can afford it, hopefully she will offer.
If not then as you say you will need to find work, and she will need to make other arrangements, after all you have done your bit.
2007-02-02 04:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by Nneave 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are going to have to tell her the situation. She is lucky enough to have had you as a childminder for the last 7 years, now is the time to tell her that you need to be earning money and also point out that after school clubs/childminders/nurseries etc can be really benefitial to her kids. They learn to socialise, learn educational stuff and have lots of fun.
Also, have u thought about qualifying as a childminder so you get paid to look after your grand children?
Your daughter will get 70% of her childcare paid for with tax credits, i think it's up to £300 for 2 kids.
Good luck!
2007-02-02 04:53:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your daughter know how much you enjoy watching her children, but because of money struggles you're going to have to stop taking care of them and get a job. If she doesn't offer to start paying you for childcare, then give her time to set up other daycare. I would let her know that in 2-3 weeks you'll need to start looking for a job so she should make other arrangements. Be prepared, know how much you expect her to pay if she offers to start paying you for childcare. Check your finances and have a weekly amount in mind you need to be paid. Don't feel guilty. If you weren't taking care of her children, she would be paying someone else. They are being lovingly cared for by their grandmother. It's hard to put a pricetag on that! You're worth gold. Talk to her, I'm sure she'll step up. Good Luck!
2007-02-02 04:40:57 · answer #8 · answered by Kimmi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very difficult one. You will have to come clean and advise your daughter of your financial situation. I you'd rather be looking after your grandchidren than going back to a 9-5 day job then make your daughter realise that you need an income! Also if your in Britain your intitled to monies towards child care if you are below the threshold. Good Luck. I am sure she'll be reasonable - If she lets you look after her kids you must hve a good relationship!
2007-02-02 04:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by KANGA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ooh tricky. i reckon u should, but if your daughter hasnt mentioned it, how she likely to react if you bring it up? lets face it you are not going to charge as much as a regular childminder. Not sure about this, but i heard that working mums get £250 a month towards childcare. My neighbour looked after her niece and her sis gave her that money b'cos it wasnt coming out of the wages but was govt. funding for childcare (but there might be restrictions to who gets it). This might be a way of bringing it up with your daughter - perhaps ask if she is given any childcare support? you might also say that you are considering doing a childcare course (loads available) so that you can register to look after kiddies and thereby get an income. say that looking after the little one means you cant get a job so might as well try getting an income out of doing what you do naturally! something along those lines p'haps..? At the end of the day - if u need monies, u have to sort the situation out. as its your daughter, I'm guessing that if u didnt need the money you wouldnt even think about asking for it. and as your daughter she should know that.
good luck! x
2007-02-02 04:34:34 · answer #10 · answered by third space 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋