how do we blend when the ex is negative?

Question

fiance's children have accepted me from the beginning, as has his childrens mothers (two different). I have 4kids and my two older ones have accepted my fiance fine--but they have different fathers than my two youngest. My two youngest father remains very bitter and angry, telling our two boys that they never have to accept or even respect my fiance and even when we marry, he will never be their stepfather nor will his children ever be their stepsiblings even tho they will be.
my ex is in his late 40's and still says he's going to kick my fiance's butt if he ever meets him.
how do I deal with this?

Answer 1

I'm thinking that your most recent ex, the one who's being hateful and spiteful, holds a lot of power here to hurt the two little ones. You could forge ahead, and cause the two little ones a lot of confusion and heartache, because they will be wanting to be loyal to their Dad, and to you, and their Dad will be the one making it hard for them. Knowing this, the only power you really have is to put off getting together with your fiance and hope that the ex moves on eventually, or the kids grow up enough to realize what a jackarse their Dad is being. I don't see any easy solution.

Answer 2

Sit your children down and set them straight. Depending on his threats - perhaps report them to the police, and they can impose a restraining order. He needs to grow up - unfortunately some men can't. Persistance beats resistance, so hold your ground.