My boyfriend smokes marijuana just about everyday and so does all of his friends. When we got together I knew he smoked and he knew I did not. I told him that as long as he didn't smoke around me then I was ok with it. Once in a while he will talk about our future and ask me how we can live together knowing that he smokes. He is trying to hint around to occasionally being allowed to smoke in my presence. I honestly don't know how to answer that question. I really care for my boyfriend and we've been through alot together but I'm not interested in smoking at all and he isn't going to stop so here we are. I need to know if anybody else lives with someone who smokes and can it work? How do you compromise? I can't have him go in the garage in his own house! I just don't like it. He isn't lazy or unmotivated or anything like that. He has a job and pays his bills on time and is really good to me. This is just an issue I don't know how to work through. Rt now we r agreeing to disagree.
2007-02-02 04:06:06 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is it really such a big deal. He sounds like a stand up guy. He could be a drunk or on hard drugs. He works you love him. I'm sorry I don't see a problem. I don't live with someone that does but I am close to someone who does and I don't mind at all. It's his thing not mine. It dosen't change who he is.
2007-02-05 09:11:51 · answer #1 · answered by sherdanay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Should clarify that psychedelic/hallucinogenic properties are absolutely not "bad things", they're great. Anyone that tells you it's harmful is misled. There has never been a proven causative link to anything negative. There IS a correlative link with anxiety, depression and psychosis, but it is not known which way the link leads. The cancer risk is negligible: cannabis does not contain tar. Smoking is only "worse" than cigarettes because the comparative burn temperature is much higher. It does not have negative effects like tobacco in the lungs; in fact, it's a known bronchodilator, relieving the effects of asthma. If you don't want him smoking, buy him a portable vaporizer, or a small pipe. These cool the cannabis to temperatures where it does not irritate the lungs, removing all harm. It won't help him for tests, due to the immediate memory function impairment caused by THC. But it will help him relax about the tests, and the positive effects of the relaxation could easily outweigh the negative effects of the memory impairment. I was high a hell of a lot of the time my first two years of university (I lived with two growers), and it was pretty cool. I stopped because honestly I didn't find it that great. I'll still gladly smoke if offered, I just wouldn't bother spending money on it. I don't regret it because most of the experience was sitting around watching terrible TV with friends and giggling like idiots, and it was quite fun. And I'd really, really like to see the source claiming that smoking cannabis actually causes the body to cease production of natural cannibinoids. e; yesss get NORML up in this place.
2016-03-29 01:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by Norine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The purchase of the drug alone can add up and be a burden on your future. If you guys ever get married, you may feel it in the costs and what kind of a parent is he going to be.
For right now his work is not doing a UA on him but more and more companies are and without warning. He may have a good job now, but if he smokes, a UA test will come up positive 4 weeks after! - subject to job loss.
Being lazy on marijuana is also disguised as not getting ahead either. He may be too happy in his job now, and not motivated to do something greater. Can you live with this income forever?
I would start adding up the costs and presenting the other concerns as well. Maybe you just can't live with someone like that.
2007-02-02 04:17:57 · answer #3 · answered by schmitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling it's never going to end. If you let him smoke a little in the house, he's gonna push for more, and won't stop asking until he can smoke whereever he wants, whenever. You really have to think about how much it bugs you that he smokes, because it doesn't look like he will stop soon. I'm just afraid that he might start taking advantage of you allowing him to smoke, and that can lead to a lot of fights and arguments.
My experience is that agreeing to disagree is like sweeping the dirt under the rug. You should sit and talk and compromise with him, and make sure the both of you stick to your decision, no if's and's or's or but's. Mostly for you...if you tell him no smoking in the house....that's NO SMOKING IN THE HOUSE.....leave no gray areas. Goodluck!
2007-02-02 04:14:36 · answer #4 · answered by M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though he cannot imagine his life without marijuana. I have known/dated many guys like this. Ask yourself these questions-
what if you get pulled over in your car and always have to worry if he is carrying?
what if you want to travel outside the country, or even over state lines, and he brings pot? you can go to jail for even a small amount in many situations.
How much money does he spend on pot? a quality 1/8 can cost $40-100.....I've known people who spend $100-500 a month on it! where else could that money and time be going?
Can you tolerate having pot, lighters, matches, baggies, bongs in your house? Because it will happen one day, if you live together and get married. (you said he smokes just about everyday)
Are you okay with the fact that you are not a part of this activity that is a big part of his life? you cant kick it with him and his friends when they get high and do what they do.
I think that pot should be legal....but I also know that heavy pot use can suck up time, resources....and lung tissue! I can tell you that my life and my friendships have improved now that I don't hang out with stoners.
I sounds to me that you don't have a long term future with this guy, but hopefully answering the above questions will help you know for yourself.
2007-02-02 04:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by moiralouise23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everybody has their pros and cons. His con is smoking weed. But if he does everything eles responsibly and takes care of you and himself then you need to ask yourself are you willing to take him with his faults. If you love him then you gotta stick with him. If not and this is a huge issue for you, then you gotta go if its against your principles. You said you knew that he smoked before you were together, so you cant blame him for something that you accepted in the past. If you agreed on not smoking in the house or in your presence than have him honor that as well. He needs to respect your feelings also. But if smoking weed is your only issue with him, Im sure that there are a TON of other women that would wish they could trade your man problems with their man problems which I'm sure are a lot worse. Think of what you are willing to risk and then decide.
2007-02-02 04:20:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are are you willing to compromise on such an important issue. You should have never told him it was all right for him to smoke as long as he didn't do it around you. There is something wrong with a person that needs marijuana to get through the day. Just because he is functioning does not make it ok. One day you are going to want children, how are you going to bring them up ...auh yeah go ahead and smoke marijuana like your dad just don't do it around me? You know you are hoping he will love you enough to quit. The truth is he has to love himself enough to quit. Get out now.
2007-02-02 04:13:33 · answer #7 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and my best friend's husband both smoke, what we did was basically let the guys up their own little "kick it" space...
At her house it's in the garage, has a couch and tv
At my house it's the basement/family room that's completely isolated from the rest of the house
It works for us... I don't smoke and neither does she, our men confine their smoking to their designated areas and we don't have any problems.
You have a right if you share the home to be a part of the decision making process where you guys figure out if/when/where these activites will take place.
Good Luck
2007-02-02 04:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by joidropp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Im sure if he cares for you as much as you care for him, he will be willing to listen and come to some kind of compromise. Why not have him go in the garage to smoke (regardless who owns the house)? If weed is more important to him than you, than you will surely find out. I would suggest you re-asses what weed is doing in your relationship and make a 2 sided list, one listing the benefits weed he smokes makes in your relationship and the other showing the downsides of it. Than see which one has more.. show it to him and see what he thinks.. lol worth a try!
2007-02-02 04:19:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Done this and wouldn't bother again. Nothing against marijuana - just doesn't do it for me - did that in my 20s, but I grew out of it.
If it's a long term habit, chances are it's not going to change. So you need to ask yourself whether this is something you can put up with long-term. How long do you want to be with this guy? And on a purely legal basis - not moral or anything! - let's not forget that it is still illegal - how would it affect you if he got busted?
2007-02-02 04:15:01 · answer #10 · answered by ginnikins 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋