Should I try to talk to him about it or just let it go?

Question

Thanks so much to everyone who replied to me. It makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not completely mental. I would like to know if I should just leave this alone and let it go, or try to talk to him for some closure, To the woman who said women just want to feel irreplacable.............I think you hit the nail on the head there. I never thought of it that way, but I guess somewhere deep down I thought he could never replace me. I am almost angry at him for that. I know that I went on with my life, and its only right that he be able to as well.........but geeze it hurts a lot. I just want to get past this!! I am so disappointed in myself! Anyway...........should I try to talk to him, and hope maybe he can help me with some closure? Or just let it go??

Answer 1

Don't be disappointed in yourself, you did nothing wrong except caring for the wrong person. You need to let it go and be grateful for the lessons that you have learned because of this experience. Instead of going to him because I think at this point it will not solve anything just cause more chaos, write him a letter. This way you can pour out your heart with no interruptions. When you are finished burn it and look at this little ritual and the end of this episode and the fresh start of a new time of your life. I have been through something similar and I know the confusion and sadness one feels with this kind of betrayal. God bless and good luck.

Answer 2

I would just let it go. You can only do and try so much before you start to hurt yourself. And no, you're not mental! Everyone goes through this stuff! You're gonna hurt for a while. And I mean, a while. Just because you've been replaced doesn't mean you are not worthwhile and valuable. Someone else will see how wonderful you are and that spot will be filled by you! By talking to him, while you're still so raw, probably won't help you with closure. I'd wait longer, til you get your strength and confidence up. I mean, that's what I would do, I'd wait until I felt strong and beautiful, and even have some romantic prospects lined up before I talked to him. I'd go to my spot at the beach, too, I have a spot that is usually deserted and I go there whenever things get tough and I need some reflection time. I even go in the winter! So if you have a special place where you go to 'recharge your batteries', go there first, build up your faith in yourself, etc. THEN go talk to him.
Good luck!

Answer 3

I have one of those. It's been over 2 years and I still wonder about it.. but I've gone on with my life as well. I tried to talk to him about it once and he told me he needed to be alone. He acts like he seriously hates me, though I don't think I did anything to warrant it. Our breakup was just plain bad.
I have considered talking to him again... but I heard through a mutual friend that an ex of his from years ago sent him a letter basically professing her love for him, and man, did he get a kick out of that. I'm thinking I don't want to give him an ego boost at my expense.

I'm thinking it's sort of a game to him, to keep his exes in this 'unfinished/no closure' position to maintain his ego. So my 'wondering' may be a small price to pay to avoid rewarding his behaviour.
You can try to talk to him, but don't lay it all on the table right away... gauge his reaction first. If he's open to you, then maybe there are still feelings/issues there. But he may be a ruthless jerk like my ex.

Unless this is a soul of a man you adore and has been hurt by you and you seriously think there is a chance... I would let it go because you are better off with someone who will fight for you, and you know it.

Answer 4

The best thing for you to do it just let it and him go. No need to look for something that may not help you anyway. You've gotten closure by moving on with your life. Wish him the best even if you don't necessarily tell him and leave it alone. Let go of your past before it ruins your present and future.

Answer 5

you have to let it go. Whether he tries to talk to you or not. I've been through the same experience. things not to do is seek revenge that will just make things worse. But you can't look so weak around him. YOu have to show him whether deep down inside you still have feelings for him or not. You have to look strong around him and show him that you've moved on. Don't try to talk to him. He'll just take advantage and push you down then bring you bck up. Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 6

talking always helps, if u dont get closure u might at least get mad at him over something and it would just make it that much easier to get over. just let him know exactly how u feel and what you are thinking.

Answer 7

Honey if that's what you need then honey do it OK reach for the Gold do your thang honey a woman has to do what a woman has to do talk to that man make yourself feel better OK God Bless you .

Answer 8

you should talk to him, and congradulate him on finding someone. maybe you guys can still be friends in the future. my mom and dad split, and for a while my dad still wanted to be with my mom, and when he finally found someone else i could tell my mom was upset, even tho she had found someone else too. its been years now, and the other day i told my mom that she would probably like my dad's wife if she gave her a chance, and my mom was like "yeah, if your father wasnt so weird i bet we would be best friends". so let him be happy, and you'll be happier in the end.

Answer 9

I think the best way is to just let it go and in due time you will be able to talk, just give it time.

Answer 10

I say talk to him...... cause whats it going to hurt?
you need closure....so you can move on