Wedding gift etiquette?

Question

My fiance and I have been together almost 7 years, and living together almost as long, we own a home, etc. We may be getting married late this summer, very small affair, nothing fancy. As far as gifts are concerned, we do not need the traditional newlywed gifts like china or appliances. What we need is money. I mean, we're not poor, but we could always use a little extra. What is a polite way to ask people to give money instead of traditional gifts? I hope this doesn't sound tacky or greedy, but if people would like to give gifts, I don't really want a bunch of stuff I already have. Any thoughts on this?

Answer 1

I recently went to a wedding for a couple in a similar situation. I believe their invitations said something like: No wedding gifts please. Honeymoon funds gladly accepted.

I think that was pretty smooth.

Answer 2

Congratulations on your engagement! I think that this is an exciting time in your life - even if it is slightly hectic.

After working in the wedding industry for a few years, I hate to tell you that asking for money is a pretty faux pas move. Almost everyone will come right out and tell you not to do that. It's considered tacky and if you're looking for people to give you presents that's a way to get people to NOT give you presents as your parent's friends say thanks, but no thanks.

There are a couple of ways of getting around the situation of sounding greedy and tacky, but not getting twelve crock-pots when you already have one that's worked just fine for the last seven years. First, let both sets of parents and your wedding party know that your household is set up and that you are saving for _________________ . It sounds better than we could just use the money. Also, if you are a more established couple and have more of the things you need, usually your best bet is to register at a higher end place for bigger ticket items. People will usually either go together to purchase them or send gift cards or money that you can use how you would like.

I hope I didn't offend, but I would like to see you have a great day in every way. Good Luck!

Answer 3

A lot of people ask this. Unfortunately, there is no way to do it without sounding tacky or greedy. Just like when you register, YOU are not supposed to tell anyone where you've registered. The trick to it is telling your maid of honor/best man or your parents (the key to this is you only tell a select few people) and ask them to spread the word.

Usually, if you don't register, that sends a pretty big hint right there. Or, just register for some "fun" stuff: I registered for games and a cooler. Once those items are bought, people will give you money.

Answer 4

Generally, it is acceptable to bring a gift to the reception unless it is a "destination wedding." At most weddings I have attended, a gift table was provided at the reception and the couple either opened gifts at the reception or went to a house with family and close friends to open the gifts. The family of the bride or groom should handle keeping the gifts for the couple until they return from their honeymoon, if the couple is leaving immediately following the festivities. Since you haven't given the gift, I would say that it's not too late. I am certain they would still welcome your thoughtfulness in helping them to settle into their new life. You could either deliver the gift personally to the couple or send it by mail, at this point.

Answer 5

Since you're planning a small wedding, I assume you're inviting only close family and friends. They would know that you already have a house full of the traditional gifts. (although you can never have too many sheets and towels). Possibly you could mention it to a few friends, and I'm sure the word will travel. I'd be interested in know if there's a proper way to handle this.

Good question.

Answer 6

Instead of placing the little cards in the invites that tell people where you are registered, put something in that says you will have a "money tree" or "money well". The announcements should read as if someone else is sending them (usually the parents.)

If you go to a party supply store you should be able to find a nice little tree that guests can attach their cards with money to or a wishing well that guests can drop their cards with money in. They are very nice looking.

I think guests will be happy to know that they don't have to go out and shop for a gift. It is especially difficult to try to find something for a couple who already has everything that they need.

Congratulations!!!!

Answer 7

same here! i registered but it just seemed like we were replacing what we already have now...i however, dont think people find it greedy to ask for the $ you spent on the gift instead of the gift. by now, most people know that couples would prefer the money.

heres what you can do, its a little bit deceitful, but register for a few things, and then once theyve been bought up, whoever goes to look wont have anything to buy and they may go on and give you money. i know that sounds bad, but theres no nice way to ask!!

Answer 8

here's what my wedding invitation said:

although your presence is already a gift to us, any financial assistance you could provide that would help us start our lives together as husband and wife would be greatly appreciated.

you can alter some of the words if you like. nowadays, it's not uncommon for people to request this on the invitiation so go ahead and do it. others call it the wishing well, others the money tree. either way, it's already becoming a common practice so don't feel shy about it.

Answer 9

There is no polite way to ask for money it is considered incredibly rude. Go register for some new items that you can always use, towels sheets things that will need to be replaced eventually. Most people usually give cash at weddings

Answer 10

I think that you should tell everyone to get you gift certificates instead of gifts. Also, everyone knows how long the two of you have been together so I am sure they won't buy you dishes or a toaster. I wouldn't worry about it.