How can I stop him from bullying my daughter? Once a week my daughter spends time at my mother in laws for play time with her 2 cousins both boys, she just lets them play alone all day and my daughter has had a black eye and bruises from the eldest cousin, I have caught him many times striking her with toys or punching her in the face, strangling her or screaming in her face, if I see this behaviour I tell him he shouldnt be nasty to his cousin or anyone its not nice, but I seem to be the only one who cares or stops him from attacking her he does the same to his little brother and I dont want my daughter to learn bad behaviour from him, I believe he is not diciplined because his father passed away when he was two and since he has been spoilt and many excuses made for his behaviour he is out of control and I dont know how to aproach the problem i often too fall victim to feeling sorry for him but I refuse to tolerate my daughter being his punching bag.
2007-02-02 02:05:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You might not like my answer, but I would, under no circumstances allow her to play with him without YOU watching them from now on.
Obviously, they are not being monitored well while they are playing at your Mother in law's house. There is no way this behavior is acceptable, and in my opinion, neither is just "letting them play alone all day" and your daughter coming home with "a black eye and bruises"
Please protect your little girl and don't put her in that situation again. Maybe you can stay and play with the kids or have him over to your home for an hour or two, but don't leave them alone.
Secondly, I believe you need to lovingly confront your sister in law and just let her know about his behavior. I can't imagine how hard it would be to discipline a little guy that lost his Daddy, but she needs someone who loves them both to come along side and help.
Hope you are able to resolve this, family issues like this can be tricky.
Hope that helps a little,
Mom of 5 with another on the way
2007-02-02 02:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by Momof6 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same as many others, you shouldnt let your daughter play with out your supervision, maybe if possible you could offer to bring the son into your home once a week or so, and while hes there make him follow your rules, kids only learn what they are taught! Also maybe if there is a man in your life you could have him be there when you have the boy in your home, I think boys need a father figure around to help him learn that boys and girls play together differently.
2007-02-02 03:01:10 · answer #2 · answered by funfeelinfroggy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is getting hurt on a regular basis. The responsible thing to do would be not allow her to spend time with her cousins if your mother-in-law can't/won't prevent her from being hurt. I would have put a stop to that the first time my daughter got hurt. I could never trust my daughter with someone who didn't prevent her from being bruised and getting a black eye.
2007-02-02 02:23:58 · answer #3 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
discuss this with the adults living in the home if nothing is done refuse to visit until they recognize there is a behavior problem with the little guy.i would intervene and have the child do a timeout, one minute for every year of the child's age.ex: if the child is three years old then it would be three minutes he needs to say sorry to your little girl. repeat every time his behavior is naughty.but also praise him when he is playing nice.ex: bobby you are playing so nice today with sally it makes me happy when you are sharing you toys.and also why are the children alone children need adult supervision
2007-02-02 02:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by nana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let my daughter go over there if they won't watch them and make sure he is not being mean to her. If they let him act out like that just because of what he has been through it is wrong. If he is that way now can you immagine how he will be when he gets older? Just take her over when you are able to stay there and watch them. Good luck
2007-02-02 02:52:26 · answer #5 · answered by vcheney84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that you need to chat with your Mother In Law. Tell her like it or not it's ok with you.
I don't know, but I discipline my nephews. I am not sure if you feel comfortable to get involved. But next time that would happen I would sit them all in front of me and demand explanations.
I would tell my Mother in Law that if this continues that my daughter is not going to be able to stay over and play with them without my supervision.
Good Luck.
2007-02-02 02:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by joy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What is your mil's explanation?
Your daughter seems to have only you to protect her. I would not let my child near such an undisciplined child. A black eye? That is preposterous! Until they learn to control the little monster, look after your child and protect her by not leaving her with your mother in law.
2007-02-02 02:48:13 · answer #7 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi is probably mimicing his father's behavior. He probably thinks that the way he is acting is the correct way for a boy to treat a girl. Since the boy's mother does not seem to be bothered by it, it may be that she was abused all the time by her former husband.
Unfortunately, there is nothing YOU can do about it but keep your kid away from them. They need professional help and counceling, a kind that they will never persue on their own because they dont perceive that anything is wrong.
2007-02-02 02:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by MrKnowItAll 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
well I had the same problem with my little sister and our nephew he was getting in my last nerve so I talked to my mom about it and she told me to tell my sister that she should discipline her young boy to prevent my sister to get hurt, so he would get grounded and not allowed to play with the other kinds until he understood that what he was doing was wrong so eventually the hitting stopped and now they love each other. so what you should try to do is talk to the parent and ask to please discipline the kid.
2007-02-02 02:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Plain & Simple: You are knowingly sending her to a place where she gets injured and bullied. By continuing to take her there you are offering her up for the abuse and consenting to let it continue.
Since they are not going to change their behavior, you have to change YOUR behavior. Stop taking her over there!!
2007-02-02 02:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋