I have a problem with my new girlfriend. Valentine's Day is coming up and she has already put a deposit on a very expensive watch for me. She was checking to see whether I liked it and showed me a picture of it. It is an awesome watch and I like it. My GF is living with her parents , because of financial trouble after a divorce. She has just finished paying off her debts and is looking for a house ( to rent or own ). I am not a real fan of hallmark holidays like sweetest day and Valentine's day, but I do enjoy the extra little romance that does come with it. I'm considering telling her to get her money back and save it. I know that this would hurt her feeling, but I would feel guilty as ever wearing around her house or apartment on my wrist. I also wonder if this is her way of trying to buy my affection. So, Should I ask her to take it back or should I accept it graciously or is this an attempt to lock me in with guilt? I will be there for her no matter what happens.
2007-02-02 01:58:13 · 10 answers · asked by Lilbear 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like your girlfriend is a "gift-giver." I know how you feel-- my boyfriend is always spending money on me when I know for a fact he has loans to pay off. It doesn't necessarily mean that she's trying to buy your affection; it could just be that that's how she says "you are special to me." Some careful observation (ie- ask her parents what kind of gifts she's given them) can tell you if this is true.
How expensive is this watch? I get the impression the two of you have been dating for a short time, so it seems to be a bit soon to be giving eachother a gifts that are over $100 (if it is, in fact, that much). Relationships need time commitment before money commitment, otherwise you may end up wasting an excessive amount of money on something that didn't last.
Even if the watch is less than $100, you are obviously feeling guilty about accepting this gift, and you need to tell her that. Sit her down and explain to her what you just told us. Let her know that you appreciate the thought, but you care about her happiness and security more than your own desires. Leave the decision ultimately up to her, but please tell her how you feel about it.
2007-02-02 02:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by janeowyn180 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has she already bought it? If so, you might make her feel insecure and unsure of where your feelings toward her stand.
If not, tell her how much you care for/love her. Tell her that she is the greatest Valentine's gift any man could receive. That the feeling of being with her is what you really desire.
Remember that although Valentine's Day may not mean much to you, it obviously means a lot to her. If she ever hears you say that you would feel guilty, it would break her heart. Think about how a woman's mind works. "I would feel guilty" means that you do not plan to be with her for very long.
If you really love her, try romancing her all the time. She won't be thinking about buying you expensive gifts. Instead, she will be thinking about buying silky things to wear for you.
I always tell my wife everything a woman wants to hear, and boy do I ever get rewarded at night for it.
And as a bonus, she didn't even complain when I told her I wanted to get my new MacBook Pro.
2007-02-02 02:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There arent many guys like you. You sld tell her how you feel, after all giving u expensive gifts isnt the only way to show deep affection-let her know that after she has bought or rented herself a house, then she can buy u one too on ur wrist!
2007-02-02 02:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by ace2ice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well see how much the watch cost and if you have enough then just give her mony for the valentines present so you wont feel bad when you accept the watch and you never no. the money you gave to her could help her for her apartment or house. or you could accept the watch and ask her if she wants to live with you until she gets back on her feet.
2007-02-02 02:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by penny b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell her just like you told us. I think she would understand that, and I think it's very considerate. She should be saving that money for something more important than V-day gifts. It's not too late, I think you should tell her that you appreciate the thought, but you don't feel comfortable accepting the gift it. She shouldn't take it too bad.
2007-02-02 02:05:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel guilty by her something of equal value, but don't turn her gift down. And everything a woman does is not a ploy to trap you in some kind of way DUDE get over yourself and be there for her if that's what you really are trying to do.
2007-02-02 02:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. Bossy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be sweet!! CAll her and tell her you would rater her save the money. And that you love her all the same with or without expensive gifts. I think she just wants to show affection, not buy it from you. Be gentle though, but I am sure she will understand.
2007-02-02 02:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Linka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not feel guilty it's just her way of showing that she cares about you and you should accept it and make sure you get her something nice as well .
2007-02-02 02:03:55 · answer #8 · answered by spud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well obviously you realy care for her.but even if you tell her to take it back 9 chances out of 10 she wont.trust me im a girl i kno how things work.but just tell her how you feel and if she insists on you haveing it then ok take it.but tell her that you are gonna feel guilty and you would rather her spend her money on an apartment for herself instead of you.But take it and wear it for her.espeacailly if she wants you to.
2007-02-02 02:03:45 · answer #9 · answered by xxrlhoodratxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I even have those days ... some days such as you I merely wanna pass cry in the corner all on my own. the ultimate element to do is to truly pass cry and it will make you sense much better ... It sound strange yet some days i like to cry it merely releases all of it. do not difficulty you will in all threat sense outstanding the following day, that usually occurs to me ... i've got faith incredibly crappy sometime and then the subsequent day i've got faith like i'm on precise of the international. i desire you sense better. x
2016-10-16 11:02:57 · answer #10 · answered by groover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋