Basically, I went on a date with a lady friend who is a Christian. She lives about an hour and halfs drive away from me so even though we have been in touch for 3 months I've only met her once.
It went well, but to cut a long story short, she basically said that she likes me but she just wants to be friends because she's not convinced that God wants us together. Obviously, I disagree, I don't think God is going to send an angel to her to tell who her soul mate is.
Well, now she says its going to be a long time before we are back to where we used to be. I think I've upset her in some way, not sure how, but what can I say or do?
Why do you think she's upset because I've come clean with my feelings for her, or because I said that she would be waiting a long time before God tells her who to be with?
2007-02-02
01:15:32
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44 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Society & Culture
➔ Religion & Spirituality
Bare in mind I'm also a Christian. But God wouldn't tell her in such a direct way would He?
I mean, He set everything else to go well on the day, coated the hills with snow, set romantic music in the cafe, put romantic music in the cinema, switched the heating off in the cinema so we held hands for 10 seconds, (she was rubbing them to keep warm), made her miss the train so I had to run her home.
What more did she want from God. I mean, all those things could have took God 2 years to sort out and a million interventions to set it up, not that it would have been hard for Him!
2007-02-02
02:17:31 ·
update #1
I think she's a nut.
2007-02-02 01:18:01
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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On this occasion Its possible she just doesn't fancy you and that it is not really anything to do with her faith. Some Christians won't go out with unbelievers - others do. If she was the type that will not countenance relationships with non believers then she wouldn't, surely have gone out with you in the first place?
I think you ought to write or e-mail her asking precisely what the problem is? She owes you an explanation if she has said something like that. Don't put pressure on her to go out with her again, quickly but just see what she says and if there has been a misunderstanding explain what you might have really meant.
Hope you get it sorted - you have invested time and emotions in this one, :)
ETA Now you have told us you are a Christian then it can't be the "unequally yolked" theology coming into play. I agree with you in the sense that God has given us brains and feelings and senses and gives us a lot of freedom to use them and make up our own minds about things. Yeah - if God suddenly intervened and said no in an obvious way then perhaps she ought to have second thoughts - otherwise all I can think is this is a dreadful way of telling you she doesn't really fancy you.
2007-02-02 01:25:14
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answer #2
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answered by stgoodric 3
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A Christian feels lead by the Spirit of God in all areas of their life and develops a discernment about the directions and decisions in their life. This is part of the Christian growth process. The more your faith grows, the more in tune you are with what God would have you do. If this woman sees that you don't share that same belief she's going to see you as someone who will stand in the way of her faith.
You told her that she "would be waiting a long time before God tells her who to be with". So basically, you're telling her that she's incapable of the thing she most desires. Would you want a relationship with someone who felt this way about the things that really matter to you?
In addition, her faith teachers her not to be "unequally yoked", which means that she isn't to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't share her faith.
Is her faith one of the things that you find attractive about her? If so, find out more about it and see if that is something you would like to embrace for yourself. If not, you're going to have to settle for a friendship.
2007-02-02 01:36:38
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answer #3
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answered by Patty C 2
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Your new lady friend is a nutcase...if you really like her and want to know more about her, maybe she needs to realize that God got the two of you together, even after an hour and a half drive to meet...it is your innerside that tells you something all the time from the inner voice we all have...a lot of people think that God speaks to us through our inner thoughts, sure, nothing wrong with that, but it sounds as though she is blocking out what the innerside is telling her or just not listening to it enough....A lot of people do argue or disagree with their inner thoughts and do the opposite of what is really expected to happen.
I think you'd might want to take another chance and find out from there if she's only "brushing off" the inner thoughts and ignoring them, which should be enough the tell, she giving you the brush off....good luck!
2007-02-02 01:26:29
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answer #4
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answered by Rmprrmbouncer 5
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dinga linga linga linga,,,,, ummmm I think those may be alarm bells. She may not fancy you. Or she may have already had a relationship she thought was ok and it wasn't. So perhaps she hopes God will show her that you are the one.
I think the concept of soul mate is a bit pagan though.
Unless of course your not telling us everything and you tried to snog her to quick. OR WORSE!!!!!!
I hope you find a nice lady even if this isn't the one.
2007-02-02 02:53:24
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answer #5
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answered by : 6
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As a Christian, when I pray on situations, I listen to that inner voice. Some people consider it a "gut feeling", or "following your heart" kind of thing. At any case, it could be that she does not share the same feelings as you, thus telling you she doesn't think God wants her to be with you. It could also be, that she might have cold feet, and a little weary of getting into a relationship. Whatever the case may be, if you truly care for this person, then you need to let her know that, without scaring her away.
2007-02-02 01:22:28
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answer #6
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answered by S M 1
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Marring a devote christian woman is not a good thing unless you are also a devote christian. She will spend the rest of her life trying to convert you. Your mind will grow and discover new wonders about the universe and hers will be stunted because of her beliefs. Dump her.
2007-02-02 01:50:05
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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I think completely dissing her belief was not the way to go hun (even if she was using it as an excuse). She probably feels a little miffed you tried to 'make a funny' over something he obviously really believes will happen for her.
Cant take it back now you said it - don't do it again back off now. If you want write a letter of apology and say when she is ready to forgive you, you would like to be friends like you were before and go out for....... whatever you did when you were friends.
The apology will help her feelings and the word forgive will tug on her christian instincts. Good Luck but you ain't never going out with that one.
2007-02-02 01:22:05
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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One of the majority of followers who use their supposed faith to justify the selfishness of the individual.
I shouldnt hang around, you need to go out with only one person - not someone who has a fictitious guide sat beside her.
Plus if it ever did get deeper she will always hold the god squad trump card when she got bored and wanted to make a quick exit.
You're Mullered if you hang on !.
2007-02-02 01:22:11
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answer #9
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answered by Jon H 3
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My, advice : Get out now!! You seriously want to start a relationship with someone who explains her problems of commitment on God, imagine what will happen later in the relationship
2007-02-02 01:22:29
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answer #10
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answered by agius1520 6
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just be true to yourself, continue being honest and take your own path. She can then choose to be with you as a friend or a companion in her own time.
In the meantime if things dont work out or you meet some one else etc etc then you can both be assured that it was not meant to be.
2007-02-02 02:31:11
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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