Stay home parents.....am I alone here?

Question

I am a stay at home parent of three, and feel like I'm going nuts! I love my kids dearly and would do anything for them, but I find myself wishing I were back at work. I miss being away, having adult conversations, using my brain to assist other adults, and coming home to my kids after a day at work. Am I the only stay at home parent that feels pulled in two directions? And why is it so hard to be satisfied with such a great life?

Answer 1

I too love my stepson dearly, but I never considered being a stay-at-home mom precisely because I knew I would go nuts and that would not be good for anyone in the family. Personally I think the sense of guilt that many working moms are feeling is artificially created by a few loud-mouthed sahms who scorn working moms (especially those who can afford staying at home) for wanting to have greater freedom.

It makes more sense that an adult person will need a balance in their home/work life in order to be happy and while being a sahm is definitely hard work, it isn't the same as working away from home in terms of intellectual stimulation and adult interactions..

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a life outside of the nursery. Why did women fight for the right to work and otherwise participate in society if we had to give up all other aspirations and return home to cook and clean once we became mothers? You didn't stop being YOU when you became a mother and you have to attend to your own well being. If you feel dissatisfied with your current situation, then maybe being a sahm isn't the best fit for you. Try going part-time first and see how that goes.

Answer 2

Oh no your not alone here.
I have 2 kids 5&2 and I so miss working and talking with other adults. As you stated I love my kids more than anything in the world but being able to be around other "grown ups" would be nice.
There are times when my kids are acting up and I just wanna crawl under a rock until they stop ... lol. I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling with way I am sure most stay at home parents feel like this once in a while.
The parent working doesn't understand how stressful being at home can be.
I know when my hubby gets home from work he wants to sit and watch TV well his work day is done my is a 24/7 shift ... lol.
I have found it very helpful to talk with other moms online.
I actually belong to an online moms chat group. Just a place to vent and have people understand you.

Good luck and go hug your kids:)

Answer 3

I'm right with you on that one! There are days that I would LOVE to go back to work because I miss the adult interaction, and I get sick of the hum-drum of being stuck at home all day. My daughter is 2 1/2 months old, but I haven't worked since a little before my husband and I found out that we were having a baby. Honestly though, I think that if I went back to work, I'd end up hating myself because I'd miss so much in her life. But I can seriously relate to what you're saying. Kudos to you for being a mother of 3!!! I don't know how women like you do it...sometimes, I'm ready to jump off the nearest bridge, and I only have ONE at home with me!! LOL Keep up the good work, Mom! It's not that you aren't satisfied, it's just hard having a 24/7 job that you never get a day off from. Do you know that if we stay at home moms charged for everything that we do in a day, we'd earn over $134,000 a year?! I read that in a baby magazine, and made me feel better to know that we work harder in a day, everyday, than any other profession out there! LOL
Take Care!

Answer 4

Your not the only one to feel that way, but to watch them grow up and know that you were there to see it, is the greatest feeling in the world. Those memories can't be taken away and although there is nothing wrong with working it depends on what your willing to miss out on for the sake of job (and your needs).
Keep yourself busy and your kids busy and enjoy this time with them Get out and find something that other mother do with their kids and meet people. Join a family swim or a women's bowling group (usually there is a babysitter there), take them to a park anywhere is usually better than staying at home all day long.
When your kids are all in school, then you can find a job that is during their time at school. Make sure your there for them after school, don't miss out on their lives because before you know it they'll be gone and you'll regret not being there for every moment. Good luck.

Answer 5

You are most definitely not alone. I am a stay at home mom to our 2 little boys ages 4 and 2. I constantly feel like I am torn between going back to work and staying home. I feel even worse, because I am blessed enough to be able to stay home in the first place. I think we may feel this way because staying home is such a hard job.
You may see if there is a stay at home parent's group in your area where you can meet other parents who stay home full-time. This has helped me immensely.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

I understand what you are saying I went through the same thing . when my son was younger he is now 11. the only thing I can tell you is they grow fast it might noit seem like that right now but before you know it they don't need you as much and then you'll have all this extra time on your hands to do stuff for yourself. and again you'll feel the same way. my son is 11 and I now have a 6month old and when it gets rough and feel that I am going nuts I just remember that they grow so fast. Take time for yourself go out with the girls or your spouse just to get away. but enjoy the time you have with them as stay home moms it is alot of work but we also get to experience everything they do for the first time and so we are lucky that way to be in a position to be able to stay home. But to make it less stressful go do your thing away from the kids once a week it will make a difference

Answer 7

I am a stay home mom and i feel that way alot.I love my child and have no intentions of going to work and leaving her but some days I think oh my god another day of this.I miss having adult conversations too.I am going out for the first time with my husband tonight since 2005.Thats pathetic.Its our anniversary is the only reason we are going out.Well I know it won't be like this forever but it sucks sometimes.The best thing to do is try to meet other moms during the day for coffee or eat lunch or hang out i don't know any though.....

Answer 8

No. you're not alone. The secret is to make sure you have contact with other adults or that you do something worthwhile. Why don't you try going back to work part time?
There is no right way or wrong way - you have to do what is best for your children and having a mother who resents staying at home isn't best for your children. So learn to compromise.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with the way you feel! My dad (yes, dad) was a stay at home parent. He loved his kids dearly, but new he would go insane if that's all he had to live for. So, he got involved in other things. He did plays, ran a business from home that only had him leave on weekends. He got involved in things outside the home.

Answer 10

If my wife had a career where she made more than I do, and we could afford for me to stay home all day with the kids, I would gladly do so, not for the kids but because I hate working.. Granted, I'd tell everyone that it was because it was better for the kids, but in this day and age, who believes that.. I just wanna play video games and laze about till 3:00 pm each day then rush around cleaning and cooking till she get s home like a good housewife/husband does.