Did my fiance do something wrong?

Question

My fiance has an ex girlfriend that lives in Las Vegas. He recently took a trip there for a bachelors party, and I found out that he had called her to pick him up from the airport and they lunched together (so he says....I found out because I saw his cel phone had dialed calls to her) He insists he didn't cheat (I guess I don't feel like he did), but I don't know why he called her when they don't talk at all normally. He told me he didn't want to tell me because I would be upset, but I feel upset to think that when he told me that he was taking a taxi to go have lunch with his friends, he was in fact being picked up by her and lunching with her! He never even apologized when I confronted him....... I think I am overreacting?? What do you think?

Answer 1

My opinion: if he didn't tell you he was lunching with his ex because he thought you'd be upset, he obviously thought you'd have something to be upset about, right? And you ARE upset, and I don't blame you. That is NOT cool, especially since he's the man you plan to marry, no longer just your boyfriend.

This situation so clearly blows all of the trust you've had in him. How do you know he hasn't been speaking with her regularly? However, you are not his mother and you are not his keeper and I think I can correctly assume that you don't have the time, the energy, nor the will to follow his every move to be sure he's faithful to the commitment he's made to you.

I really wish I could tell you with certainty what the right thing for YOU is. I wish I could explain the things that men do just because they are men (I am happily married to one myself, and will never be able to explain why he does some of the things he does.)

watch out for yourself, and know that you are worth more than someone who lies to you. (If he'll lie about this, what other things will he be untruthful about in the future? What other things has he been untruthful about in the past? Why didn't he come to you and apologize? Does he believe he hasn't done anything wrong? These are the worries that I know are going through your head.)

YOU take care of YOU!!

Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Leave him. Bi-Polar is tough to live with, and a lazy *** pot head isn't going to amount to much of anything except a liability. There is the legal risk as well. I am sure this isnt medicinal, so there are many factors here that say you should pack what you can and head for the door without looking back. I was in a relationship with a Bi-Polar person, and 5 suicide attempts later I am more sensitive to others' needs, but have come to realize that there are MANY out there that will not help themselves and work even harder to ensure that there is always someone else to blame, and do things for them. As much as it hurts, you are better off. Take a small vacation alone and you will see a difference in your outlook on this. You sound like the better person in the relationship. Do yourself a favor and walk away while you still can. This guy will not alter a habit for you, are you willing to go to a womens prison for him ????

Answer 3

Yes, i think that is something very wrong. Ask him straight up if he cheated on you and tell him you want the truth, because you both need to be honest with each other in order to have a good relationship. And tell him that God and Jesus know if he is lying, and that it is one of the ten commandments not to lie.

Answer 4

You either trust him, or you don't. It has NOTHING to do with his actions. If he has never given you a reason to suspect him, then why now? HOWEVER, apparently, HE feels that YOU do not trust HIM, which is why he had to lie.

Trust is an essential part of any relationship, nad it is obvious that there are trust issues in yours. Unless you can learn to trust each other, your relaitionship is doomed to fail, sorry to say.

For more information on cheating in relationships, visit:

www.myloveneeds.com

Answer 5

You are not overreacting and he is not truly honest. He should have told you and clear it with you before you finding it out from his mobile! But equally you don't have to disbelieve him on what he had said, unless of course he has a history of telling lies.

If you love him and he loves you, let this one pass and be a lesson for both of you.

Good luck!

Answer 6

he cheated. there is a line what happens in vegas stays in vegas... why else would you get picked up at the airport by a ex

Answer 7

If he didn't do anything, why did he hide it from you? He should have been upfront about it if there is nothing. Only you will really have that feeling whether you really feel he did something. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Think he might be having an affair...? well we couldn't know for sure but i'll provide you with the signs...that well, he could be cheating,,

1. Your mate is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.

2. Your mate begins buying you gifts — lots of gifts. These are "guilt gifts" purchased because your partner feels guilty about betraying you and showering you with presents makes him or her feel better.

3. Your mate's behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. You know your mate's habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change

4. Your mate frequently picks fights with you. Doing this gives him reason to get mad and storm out of the house and thus the opportunity to meet a lover. A cheater may also do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.

5. Your mate constantly talks about your relationship ending when you fight or argue. She says things like, "What would you do if our relationship ended?" or "If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend." In general, she seems very negative about your relationship. Your mate makes these statements because she has a lover to fall back on if your relationship ends. If your partner repeats these kinds of statements often, be suspicious.

6. Your mate becomes very moody. He or she seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when around you. If your mate is in a long-term affair, he/she will try to keep both relationships running smoothly. Any problems the cheater has in one relationship will spill over into the other relationship as well. This is inevitable.

7. Your mate never talks to you. You live together but don't interact. He has become cold and inconsiderate of your feelings.

8. Your mate's taste in music suddenly changes. For instance, she always listened to pop music but suddenly starts listening to country music. Your partner might be listening to and growing fond of this new type of music because her lover listens to it.

9. Your mate lacks self-esteem. This doesn't necessarily mean he will go out and have an affair, but an insecure individual often looks to others for guidance. If an insecure person's needs aren't being met, he might find the desired feelings of security and positive feedback in an affair with someone else.

10. Your mate continually criticizes another person. She is trying to make you think that type of individual would never be of interest to her, although there actually exists a secret attraction.

11. Your mate criticizes things about you that he or she once found attractive and appealing.

12. Your mate easily becomes offended at the comments, however harmless, that you make.

14. Your mate begins closing doors when you are around, when before he or she would leave them open. For instance, the Bathroom-Door Rule: Couples in long-term relationships often leave their bathroom doors open while attending to necessities even if their partners are nearby. As affairs develop, the cheating mates will close bathroom doors, distancing themselves physically and psychologically from their partners.

15. Your mate stops complimenting you on your looks.

16. Your mate stops saying, "I love you."

17. You mate acts guilty when you do something nice for him or her. You are supposed to be the person who is making life miserable and the relationship untenable. By doing something nice, you force the cheater to think about what he or she is doing.

18. Your mate turns the table and accuses you of cheating but has no evidence.

19. Your mate would rather spend time with friends than be with you.

20. Your mate shows no interest in your relationship's future.

21. Your mate stops being affectionate.

22. Your mate is more interested in reading a book or watching television than talking with you or making love to you.

so..?

Answer 9

yea u have the all the right to be angry ..but dont overeact dear tell him not to do it gain and coz he love u he wot do it ..forget it ad let it go

Answer 10

try to talk to him. tell him how you feel. besides.. you have the right to speak up. you guys are about to get married!