When should I quit giving my child his pacifier?

Question

He is 18 months old. He is very talkative and the pacifier doesn't appear to be affeting his speech at all. In fact he takes it out to talk. He really only uses it when he is tired or cranky. My dad keeps telling me that it's going to turn out bad in the end, but he seems to be progressing just fine. I think that it's a good security tool right now and I'd much rather him suck on that than his thumb. Everyone in my family has had strong "suck reflexes". I just want to know when is too old? If you are against pacifiers in general please don't answer this. I don't want to hear that giving it to him was wrong. I only started giving it to him because he was starting to suck his thumb. Me, my sister, and my cousin sucked our thumbs until we were 5 or over. I don't want that for him so I figured I'd give him something that could be taken away when the time is right.

You all are being very helpful, but alot of you are just telling me methods, not ages. I know tons of method, just not the appropraite age. I don't think that my son is old enough to comprehend the "sharing" idea. I use the type of pacifiers designed for oral growth. I talked that part over with my doctor and he recomended these. He said they actually aid in tooth development and provide the child with a jaw later i life. They also keep him from sucking on juice and other drinks all the time. (Like I said, he has a strong suck reflex and seems to need that sucking for comfort) I just want to know when is "TOO OLD" for emotional development.

Answer 1

Hi most babies and toddlers need to suck until they are approx 3.it is iether the bottle,dummy breast or thumb. I have only ever met ONE child in my nursing career that was in danger of going to school with her dummy and that child had severe emotional problems from her family situation(she lived with grandma after mum had her dad murdered) around 3 they are more willing to give up one of these sucking devices, and it's easier(???) to reason (trick) them.LOL
A lot of people will give you negative about dummys or bottles and especially the breast "at that age?" but I have never known a child to nick out to the car foir a feed from mum at little lunch or sneak to their bag to have a suck on a dummy or bottle ,so rest asssured that around age 3 he will give it up.He won't be stunted,retarded, backward or any or hte other dozen bad things people will tell you will happen if they still suck a dummy at "that age" When the time is right you will know,trust your instincts. :)

Answer 2

My mother was of the Dr. Spock school of thought with my thumb sucking... his advice was to just let me do it, I'd stop on my own at some point.

Well... I didn't, and I wound up with a severe overbite as a result. I don't know if pacifiers would have the same affect as they're softer than a thumb, but I'd say it's better not to take the chance.

When he gets older, we will probably run into a similar situation with our son (he's only 8 months old now).. but we've already planned out how we're going to handle it:

Once he gets to be old enough to understand the concept of Santa bringing presents at Christmas, we're going to get rid of all the pacifiers on Christmas Eve after he goes to bed. The next time he goes looking for one, we'll explain that Santa only brings presents to big boys. Big boys don't use binkies, so if he finds any in the house, he gets rid of them all before he'll leave any presents. That way we don't have to be the bad guys ;).

Answer 3

We stopped with my neices and nephew when they started getting teeth.

With the first one we got her baby bottles (we had sippy cups on hand, she just was wanting to take them, she only wanted the bottle even though she was too old for the bottle), her pacifiers, and a plastic bag. We had told her that somebody was going to come by the house and get them for the children who didn't have any and needed them and that we had to leave them outside incase "we wasn't there when they stopped". She completely understood us and want to give (she even helped find her pacifiers and bottles). We (she participated) put the pacifiers and bottles in the bag and closed the bag. We then took her outside and tied the bag to the tree and went back inside and of course her being a kid was very curious so we got her mom to take her to the park of a little while and while they were gone we took down the bag and wrote a little note from the "guy who got the bag for the other children" thanking her. Ever since then she is constantly wanting to give anything she can to others (toys, clothes, anything she can). You could also do closer to dark and then you wouldn't have to take him anywhere, you could just wait until he is in bed and then go out and get them and throw them away or whatever.

Now the other two wasn't that creative (they didn't like sharing) so we simply put a small slit (not big enough they could see it or that it would come apart when they were trying to suck on them) in the pacifiers and then the suction was gone and they didn't want them anymore. This was easier but we like the first method better because it taught her to share and to give because some kids aren't as lucky as she is.

Answer 4

Well at some of the day cares i have worked at most of the children still have pacifiers even when they are 3 yrs but they only use it when they have their nap. i don't think there is really any age it is just up to the parents. you could always just get him to slowly stop using his pacifier but as i said its up to the parents when they think it is bothering the child. i think a maximum age would be 4 yrs to still be sucking on a pacifier after that they would be starting school and seem too old for one.
sorry if other people have different opinions

Answer 5

Hello,i am a mother of four children, over the past years i have had anxieties about what is right and about what is wrong. At the end of the day it generally works out to be okay. We all want to be the perfect mother. Personally i didn't use dummies but we all need to do what we think is right at the time. Your child is 18 months old, i would not recommend using the dummy past 2, maybe check with your health centre nurse because it could do damage to there teeth. Good luck

Answer 6

I was careful to take the pacifier away from my babies when they were about three months old because I believed that bigger babies shouldn't have them. My kids did, though, suck their thumb; and I didn't mind that at all. I kind of just assumed they'd all stop (as I had) soon enough.

My point is that we all think differently about these things. One person thinks its normal for a child to suck his thumb. Someone else thinks that's objectionable.

Since you prefer he has a pacifier to his thumb, let him have it as long as you think its appropriate. I think children over two really shouldn't have a pacifier, but, again, this type of thing is pretty much a matter of people's individual opinions.

Answer 7

I certainly don't think 18 months is too old for a pacifier. Personally I don't think I'd start worrying about it till he was 3 or 4.

Answer 8

It all depends on when he is ready to give it up. He is only 18 months and that isn't bad at all. My son took his for a long time. We had tried to stop his Binky before and it was a scream fest and he cried at night for it so we waited and he was three before he stopped taking it well, actually one day before he turned 3. My husband told him the night before his 3rd. birthday that the binky fairy came down and took them while they were sleeping. My daughter is 2 and still takes her binky to sleep. It's not like they are walking around with it in their mouths 24/7 it's only when she is tired or if she got hurt. It is more of a security item for them. I would stop it when you and your son are ready to get rid of it and not when other people tell you to get rid of it.

Answer 9

We went cold turkey with our youngest. He and his Dad went to the park and I stayed home to round them up and throw them out. Later that afternoon when he wanted to take a nap he wanted one, and I told him they were all gone. No further explanation needed. He was mad at first but he got over it really quickly.

I know a smart Mommy that found out what toy her son wanted and got him to trade his binky for that toy. That worked well for them.

Another mommy used Santa Claus as the bait, said Santa needed their pacifiers for other babies and Santa would bring her a toy. Her daughter went for it and it was not even close to Christmas! She wrapped it in Xmas paper and everything.

I think if they get to preschool and still have one that's too old, but I agree that it's easier for them to get over at a younger age. Best of luck to you. I hope it goes well!

Answer 10

get rid of it now... I have a 26 month old paci addict... I didn't think at 18 months that it was affecting his speech... but now at 26 months although he only uses the pacifier for naps and bedtimes he has difficulty annunciating his words and is speech therapy to avoid more delays.