i need to move out?

Question

i live with my financee in his parents house, we have a two year old son, my fiancee's brother and his gf also live in the same house with their 2 year old and 5month baby. The problem is his parents are not coping but they have to support my fiancee's brother, gf, and two brats becasue he refuses to work. Not to mention pay his car, insurance and partying money every weekend. when they go out they take the 5month old and leave the 2yr old at home and granny tells me to watch her. the thing is the brothers are fighting coz the their parents support him and when we ask for help the get rejected. i just want to move out. i cant even discipline my son and i get reprimanded. my fiancee earns R20 000pm and i R3000 i tell him all the time there are ppl out there earning less and they can afford it. i think he has got it too easy he doesnt see what i go thru. i raise our son and he plays ps2/fishes.and he's not here mon - wed. and all he pays his parents is R500pm!!!! and by the way he's 30

I have told him that i am looking for a place of our own, but i dont think he believes me. he tells other ppl he wants out but tells me another story. i'm getting boxes and i'm going to stat packing our goodies around the house. and i'm going to start buying perishable foods every week so that when i do find a place its not going to cost us much.

Answer 1

He's 30 and lives at home and plays video games too much, gee.. I dont know, maybe ....RUN!!!

Answer 2

Looks like you wish to run away from the problem, rather than solve it. Since I do not know your background [emotional level], I can not say more. First thing you should feel pround to be a woman , and try to win over your hubby. Just give him some attention and make him feel good [nurse his Big Ego]. Since you have created an inferiority complex in him [you being intelligent and smart], he does not get right attention which he needs [for that matter, every man is a "child" within, and looks to woman for motherly treatment. Once you understand this majic formuea,
you will have a good husband and happiness.
Your views, comments are most welcome
Sincerely,
Sunder Thadani.
[Your.Friend.In.Mumbai-India].
mailto:[e-mail]
PH:91.9969017516

Answer 3

Yes you are right. It is time to move out and get your own place.
You need to get away from the brother and the GF.
It's obvious that the other child is not benn disaplined which makes it hard for you to do that to your child.
You fiance is 30 years old and still living with mummy and daddy. It's time.
You don't need to get a mansion or anything, just a nice apartment or something.
Good Luck with this

Answer 4

i think it's time to put your foot down and explain to him that you need space so your family can grow. explain how this must be a stressful life for his parents as well. Let him know of the stress this situation is placing on your relationship and you don't want that you would like to have your own family home so he can come home and the three of you can eat together in peace and quite. There is nothing wrong about wanting a normal family life for you and your family.

Answer 5

This isn't a good environment in which to raise your son. I agree...you need to move out. And if your fiancee doesn't want to...then leave him behind. Sounds to me like he is not ready to be a father, much less a husband.

I think he needs a wake up call...and you need to see what he is really made of before you marry him! Moving out will succeed in achieving both those goals.

Good luck to you and your son...

Answer 6

Start packing your stuff and tell your husband you are moving with or without him, that should do the trick to get him looking for a place to live.

Answer 7

And this is what you're willing to marry into? I see a divorce or a very long and miserable life for you. Do you have to marry this guy? You don't need to move out of the house, you need to get your life out of this guys life.

Answer 8

I would get out of there as fast as possible , with or without him that is not a mentaly healthy place to be in