One of my best friends just lost his girlfriend last night. It was done heartlessly and cruelly. The very same thing happened to me not long ago... I want to help him, make him feel better but im not sure how to approach it. I can only really suggest that time is a healer (I think it is gradually working with me) but what can I do in the mean time??
Should I ask if he wants to talk about it?...offer a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen?
2007-02-02 00:18:05 · 21 answers · asked by L666 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, spend a lot of time with him, do things together that will keep his mind busy so that he wont think of her. Please whatever you do, don't go and drink and get wasted. When people are drunk they are too vulnerable and he might do something stupid like phone her or go to her house, so stay away from the booze, it does not do any good! Do things that he normally would not have done with her and don't take him to places that will remind him of her. Best thing to do is to let him come over to your house, rent couple of movies and pizza and have a night in. I know it sounds like a very girly thing to do, but sometimes guys also needs some TLC... or take him to a strip club!!! but stay away from booze please! Good luck
2007-02-02 00:28:26 · answer #1 · answered by Yollie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, offering a shoulder and an ear woudl be good. Maybe some gentle persuasion to go out and have a few, although, with a raging hangover the next day he'll only feel more depressed. Just make sure he knows you're there for him and maybe talk about how you felt when it happened to you.
2007-02-02 08:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by flyingconfused 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i tell you something babe, you hear s much how blokes are cruel when it comes to saying 'it's over' to a woman- being callous and harsh, ripping their hearts out and stamping them under their feet, but you don't hear too much on it being the other way around do you. we women can be harsh b*tches sometyms. i just wanna say how sorry i am that your friend has had a hard tym with this cow.
i suggest firstly, to help to gain some closure. anything that he has in his possesion of hers- any photos of the two of them together, cds or letters; clothes or cushions or whatever- anything that might remind himn of her- make him go round with a bin bag and put everything into it. depending on how upset he is, wither chuck it in a bin or take it down ur local charity shop, whichever you think best.
don't use the 'let go get wasted' approach because 9 times out of 10, he'll end up in the morning a lot poorer, still unhappy and with a headache to help make him feel worse. if you're quite close and you feel comfortabl enough with him to be able to listen to him, then do so. make sure he knows you wanna help, you wanna listen to hi, and you don't mind being his shoulder to cry on. if you have money to spare, or savings, this is the best heart-broken remedy ever- take him on a random holiday. flights to places like Greece or a Spanish island are fairly cheap last minute and two weeks in the sun with a clear blue sea nearby will work wonders for him okay.
good luck and do your best, but it will take time, and love.
xxx
2007-02-02 08:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
have a chat if he needs it - he most probably does and probably feels like you will be able te relate to his feelings better if this has recently happened to you to. THEN do the forget her and get wasted approach. there's nothing like a bit of friendship bonding with some ale and a fab friend when your down in the dumps. good luck and offer a beer an a kiss from me xx
2007-02-02 08:24:53 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think as male buddies, most guys might not want to talk about due to his pride or that it is just not guys to talk about affairs of the heart to another male company.
Just hang out with him, do the usual stuff, like go for a drink, watch a movie, talk about other things. but if he does bring it up, then have a listen and see where the conversation lead you to.
i guess you can just ask "hey how you doing?" and give him a whack on the back
2007-02-02 08:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by littlepurplebugz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets get wasted always works with me and my friends.... It can mean they either have a great night to forget their troubles or they'll be a bit more comfortable talking about it all.....
But definitely aim to have the most fun possible and then follow his lead once youre out.
Also, do you have mutual friends in another town you could go visit? My friends just broken up with her boyf so next week we're going up to London to stay with friends- a change of scenery works wonders!
Good luck!
2007-02-02 08:33:36 · answer #6 · answered by spagbolfordinner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you know what he needs start with the shoulder to cry on then tell him there all whores and get smashed out off your heads. Short term remedy but as you said time is the only real healer.
Hope this helps you and your mate, failing that tell to get back in the saddle.
2007-02-02 08:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by Loader2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The words lapdance bar come to mind or a trip here
www.fkk-oase.de
Ryannair lights are cheap
Or go on pull and have a who has the best boobs competition.
get him laid...
Or toned if under 16 to something less sexaul but the same general idea
Even if no touching..
and gwet the limo service on the site too
2007-02-02 08:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer both, tell him you are there to listen if he wants to talk, but also take him out and get wasted to get his mind off it, you never know what the night will bring!
2007-02-02 08:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a great mate to have hun!
I think you should give him the option - of either staying in having a heart to heart - or if he'd prefer to hit the beer - only he knows what is better for him so by letting him choose you're doing the best thing.
xx
2007-02-02 08:35:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋