How do i go about faking my own death?

Question

I recently came into a lot of untraxceable money. There are a lot of columbians looking for me and i need to throw off the scent. Any ideas?

Answer 1

I'll send you a video of how my wife acts in bed.

Answer 2

you don't. it is a felony, and you will end up with your can in the slammer. How to go about Faking your own death.
There are several methods of faking your own death. Which one you choose will be determined by the amount of effort you'd like to go to and the desired effect on your family and friends.

The Low Key Approach
Sometimes the most simple things are the most elegant. Simply publishing a small death notice in the local newspaper and then showing it to your relatives to convince them that you've died is quite effective. For added subtly you can get someone else to show them the notice!

The Mysterious Approach
In order to use this method you'll need to wait until a dark and stormy night. The first thing to do is to go outside and pull the fuses out of the power box on the side of your house to make it look like there's a blackout. Next, go back inside and say something like "What was that mysterious noise coming from upstairs? I'll go and have a look". Walk tentatively upstairs, and after you've been up there for a minute or two, start yelling "Murder, Murder! I've been Murdered". At this point people will start becoming suspicious and suspect that you may have been murdered. You should show them the death notice in the local paper to further convince them.

The Dramatic Approach
This method involves a lot of tomato sauce and a death notice in the local newspaper.

Answer 3

Just go to the cops and get help - faking your own death won't help anything, and if Johnny Law catches you, well...it's illegal to fake your own death so he ain't gonna be too happy. And if these so-called Colombians are actually members of a drug cartel or some such, than you may be able to go into witness protection which is the best possible option. Good luck, and I hope them crafty Columbians ain't using Yahoo! Answers right now... :p

Answer 4

Don't fake it, just let them know where you are, and they will do it for you, But before you do that, give me your telephone number and I'll come and collect the cash, so they don't get their hands on it, Don't worry i wont rip you off, I'll send it to you when you know your address in heaven !

Answer 5

Cover yourself with the money. It has a unique scent and cannot be traced by the Colombians.

Answer 6

I wouldn't advertise that you have lots of money, especially if it's untraceable. If you're worried about Columbians coming after you, it can't be THAT untraceable!!!

Answer 7

Take Some Clothes u dont normally wear and place them on fire with a id card laying next to it they might think u were burnt to death

Answer 8

So you came into a bunch of money, you are now rich enough to worry about someone killing you for your money, but you want FREE advice on how to SAVE YOUR LIFE?

I have several proven methods, but you don't get THIS advice for free. Email me, we'll set up a payment plan and then I'll save your life.

Answer 9

lie on the floor in a pool of tomato sauce, get some one to take a photo and post it on the net!

Answer 10

yeh, roll in dog doo. I t makes you invisable.
It worked for a drug dealer I knew. The only thing was,
He really enjoyed the smell. Smelled like home.

Answer 11

Leave some clothes with i/d in them and shoes on a Beach so that it looks as if you've drowned.
Then change your name using false details.....