ive dated this gurl for almost a year and a half...shes been everything i needed 2 complete my life ..i proposed 2 her like 2 month ago and she said yes...alot of fights happened continously after that and our relation changed into a total disaster....so i dumped her and it was the last thing i eva wanted to do , but she asked for it ..and now she wants me bak and she is cryin for her friends and mine 2 help her out and talk 2 me ..and i still refuse and she promises ..she will change and neva hurt me again..but it wasnt the first time she screwed ...and i just cant trust her....and i wanna move on but its hard..cause non will ever be like her. so iam lost rite now..i dont no wat 2 do...help plzzzzzzzzzzzzz.!!
2007-02-01 20:24:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What were your fights about? You mention she "screwed" OK - people are usually unfaithful because of other stuff not going well - or low self esteem. There must have been some fault on your part? When you say "she asked for it" what did she do specifically - if you really love someone you can forgive them. Do you want to be with her? Then you both need to calm down, stop living in the "you did this " blame game and talk about what the real issues are between you and her. - your way of referring to her "asking for it " sounds very childish. It also seems that you want to blame her for the fights.(People don't fight by themselves it takes two people.) It also makes me wonder if you are quite young.
Also I know people are just mucking around with nick names but crazie player 69 doesn't sound like the sort of name that someone intent on commitment would choose.
So basically what I'm saying is if you can't forgive her and trust again and find some point where you both try to communicate about why all the bad stuff has happened then move on despite how you feel. Otherwise, you have to let go of your anger and try to find a point where you both agree you are starting on a fresh page of your lives together.
If you stick with your decision to give up on her, you will meet someone else eventually, despite your idealisation of this girl.
2007-02-01 20:42:34 · answer #1 · answered by mickylee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her so much, why not give her another chance?
Relationships are all about getting to know one another on a certain level. Of course you're going to have alot of aguments, no matter how much you love her or how long you've been together. What matters is learning from the arguements. You know what makes her tick now right? And she's realized what makes you tick, so she's promising she'll never do it again. Don't rush so fast into marriage! You should take her back, she's really sorry. And I'm not saying you're not going to have anymore problems with her, because 9 times out of 10 you are.
Learn from both of your mistakes to make the relationship better. Dont give up. Thats what Love is. You make sacrifices for each other. So what if you had some tough times? If it was love, that would defeat all. Good Luck
2007-02-02 04:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by Déjà Vu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder how old you both are. I think some time alone for the both of you would help you see things clearer. Don't let people pressure you into making a decision. Depending on what she did and even your response will be factors as to if you should get back together. Talking to your parents or maybe another adult/ religious leader you look up to might give you some good feedback as well. Sometimes it hard to realize what you have until it is gone, so take some time to figure this out...but don't wait too long.
2007-02-02 04:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by aprildin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a lot to make a commitment last. Both people have to be willing to accept the differences...I am sure that both of you just need to sit down and talk about what happened. Each of you need to make a list of what you were fighting about and things that you could do to chance those. You need to use "I" statements. "I" don't like when things are left laying around, could we try to keep the house cleaner? or "I" feel like I am not cared about when people don't look at me when I am talking, when we talk will you stop what you are doing and look at me?
It work very well, you can also try sitting knee to knee when you talk...keep calm voices and use unhurtful words. When the other person is talking look at their eyes and don't interupt. I daily life somethings are never talked about...things you thought they liked they really don't, and were only tolerating it because they cared about you. Take the time to talk about this. Maybe it can be worked out and strengthen your relationship.
Best of luck!
2007-02-04 13:34:50 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to advise you without knowing the details.
You clearly still have feelings for her, but you want to protect yourself from being hurt again. The problem is that if you're going to love, you have to expose your vulnerabilities sooner or later. The real question is whether you can get past whatever it is that she's done to you, get some reassurance that you won't be hurt again, and then get the benefits of the relationship. You need to weigh this very carefully and calmly.
2007-02-02 04:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her...a relationship requires adjustments to keep it going...she seems to really love you n you also said that there can be noone else like her...so it would be a good idea to patch up differences n give your relationship another try.
you dont like somethings abt her...she too may not like somethings abt you...talk it over...a bit of adjustment from her side n a bit of adjustment from your side n you will definetly have a rocking relationship.
best of luck.
2007-02-02 04:33:30 · answer #6 · answered by gul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just move freely with her from now. again if she fights u tell her i will go away and wont be seen by her in future. she will get afraid and wont hurt u, i guess. give her a chance,,
2007-02-02 04:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by Laknar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when the relations didn't come to it's logical end it's hard to end it. But to continue them is worser.
2007-02-02 05:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by Natalya Ch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey you have the same story as that of happened to me also.....
Listen i am bak to that girl now and she has really chnaged......so u also can try to go bak to her ........May be she really will change for love..........
Just believe her and if you love her then don let her go away so easily.........................
Go man < get her back
2007-02-02 04:28:47 · answer #9 · answered by summeravi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. give her another chance. maybe this time she will really keep that promise. just TRY. if she hurts you again, maybe she isn't really the one for you.
2007-02-02 04:31:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋