I have set my wedding date for the 22nd of March 2008, and decided to ask family to see if they could come. Everyone was very happy except my elder brother who incedently is getting married 2 months later on the 17th May 2008. He refuses to allow us to be married within 6 months of his wedding. He has paid £3000 towards his wedding costs so far, but if I was to agree to change my date, then the venue we picked will not be availble until 2009. We had our hearts set on this venue and need to lay our deposit down any day now. Should I agree to change the date much against the advice of the family of my financee - or should I remain adiment that my brother has no right to affect the date that I should get married as he is not contributing towards our marriage?
2007-02-01 20:14:43 · 33 answers · asked by digiguru 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
thats RIDICULOUS! my older sister got married 12/30/06, and i am getting married 3/04/07. thats almost exactly a 2 month difference and i didn't hear a word of protest from her. i actually got engaged before her, and just to be nice, since she is the oldest, i waited to set my date until after hers was set. if she had tried to protest at that point, i would have said sorry, but you're being ridiculous.
it sounds to me like your brother is worried that all of the focus won't be on him and his wedding in the months leading up to it, if you are to be married only 2 months earlier. that couldn't be less true! our families were VERY good at being tactful and not really mentioning my wedding planning process during the entire month of december! at least not in front of my sister. she got plenty of attention during the planning and absolutely NONE of the focus was taken off of her. we were very careful, as i'm sure your family would be too. it can work the same way for you. your families can still plan with him, but they will do it when you are not around (or if you are fine with it). once your wedding is over with, all of the focus canbe out in the "open" and on him. just tell him how your heart is set on you venue and that you will be very careful about keeping the focus equally on both weddings until after your own.
2007-02-01 21:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by crazydaisyodu 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your brother has no business telling you when you should have YOUR wedding. He should have let you know his plans and everything before you set your date if he didn't want the weddings within six months of each other. And why doesn't he want the weddings close together? Two months apart is plenty of time for every one to get situated with their weddings and plans. Tell him about the venue not being available til 2009, he should understand that no one wants to wait that long to get married just because it'd be "too close" to another wedding date.
I used to work with a girl who wanted her wedding to be around mid-April. She had everything booked and went to our boss to take the time off for the honeymoon. Our boss told her to reschedule the wedding for a few months later because one of our co-workers (in the 55 employee office) was out on maternity leave during that time. She was crushed and have to leave work she was crying so hard. It's disrespectful to ask someone to change a wedding date when so much thought has been put into everything and planned out so thoroughly. Tell your brother to get over it.
2007-02-02 01:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's being a selfish baby and rather effeminate, typically it's girls that get all uptight about wedding dates and crap like that.
Has he given any specific reason WHY he has this "6 month rule"? Is it attention or is is money? Money as in "you will be inviting a lot of the same guests as I will and therefore I'll get gypped on the $$ for gifts if your wedding is less than 6 months of mine"?
If it is the gift issue then he is truly a selfish self-centered ungrateful bastard.
Don't change a thing; if he's old enough to get married he's old enough to "put on big-boy pants and deal with it".
2007-02-01 23:58:37 · answer #3 · answered by rla26368 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. -You can't have your wedding within 6 months of mine. Why the heck not? I could understand maybe not the same month, since you probably have a lot of the same people coming, but 6 months is ridiculous. Tell him that he is being childish and you have every intentions of going through with you wedding on the set date. If he cared for your happiness he would not be so childish and SELFISH.
2007-02-01 21:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by mama29 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your brother is being selfish. Do NOT change the date of your wedding. I am getting married 4 months after my fiance's sister is getting married. She wasn't very happy about it, but we don't care what she thinks. We didn't tell her to change her date!
The location is special to you, and you shouldn't have to put off your wedding for a whole other year because your brother is being a selfish baby. He'll get over it!
2007-02-02 02:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea who your brother thinks he is or where he came up with this 6 months business, but I would politely tell him that you and your financee will be sticking with your plans, because his request is unreasonable. Do not let him try to get you into an arguement over it, because there's no point in it. Besides, you win simply by not taking the bait and getting into an arguement over it with him over it; especially when you also go through with your original plans too! Who knows, he might actually respect you for standing up for yourself in the end, when he discovers that little brother can't be pushed around so easily anymore.
2007-02-01 20:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by JSalakar 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those dates are far enough apart that it won't be a huge deal. Did he set his date first? Etiquette does dictate that you don't set your date within six months of someone else's wedding (like a friend or family member). However, this is not always possible. I wouldn't change the date.
2007-02-02 02:21:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's an easy one. Your brother has no right to affect the date that you should get married as he is not contributing toward your marriage. (Do I hear an echo in here?)
2007-02-01 20:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by Shane M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is being extremely unreasonable, explain to him that you really want to get married in that venue and why has he got such a problem about it. he should be happy for you. it's your wedding day, there's two months in the difference and its not going to take away from his wedding. i think he just wants to stay in the limelight and have everyone fuss over him and thats why he's being such a fool about it. i know sisters who got married two months apart and they didnt care they were happy for each other.
2007-02-01 20:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by Shannyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly dont understand why he'd suggest that, he probably has a problem with u gettin married befor him...but hey, no worries, go on with the wedding, if he insists let him change his wedding date..... Best Wishes!!!
2007-02-01 20:38:03 · answer #10 · answered by ace2ice 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋