Hey Ladies question pls?

Question

I tend to automatically address women as "love", when thanking them or serving them. Eg: Thanks Love, or Do you want sauce love? I have heard a couple of women say they consider such patronising coming from a man... What is the general consensus out there pls?? . I now do it so automatically and am trying to be nice

I am 37 and live in australia

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with that it is just that too many women have taken it out of proportion. I think it is fine especially where it is custom. I do it with older men and women I volunteer with at the retirement home. I catch myself saying something like "that's okay sweetie". It's a habit. LOL sometimes the older men love it.

Answer 2

I'm an American so I don't speak the same dialect of English. You'll probably want judgments from Australian women.

I generally don't mind too much when people say things like this but I agree that it could definitely be construed as patronizing. I think the reason it could come across that way is that "love" is a term used for people that you have a close relationship with, and when you use it with people you aren't close to, it makes it sound like you have more social liberty with them than they do with you; that is, it makes it seem like you feel superior.

And frankly, it depends on who it's coming from. If the person who says something like this is a greasy, scary guy, it's a little creepy. If the person who says this is nonthreatening and kind, it comes across in the intended spirit. Unfortunately this might be affected by your appearance, since appearance is all we have to go on when we are communicating with a stranger.

Answer 3

If he's a Brit it is not patronising. If it is from an American, since it is not really a nationally accepted form of address, it is. That said, I think people that freak out over things like that must have a REALLY good life, I personally am to worried about paying bills and health as well as world peace to obsess over what someone calls me. We need to be a little less defensive in the US and accept the quirks of others. Besides that, being called Dear or Love is just sweet, a gentlemanly form of address if you will.
Good luck, HTH

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Wow, where are you? I need someone to call me love, that would make me SMILE.

Your question is so sweet. The fact that you think enough of women to ask this question shows that you mean nothing out of the way at all.

The answer to your actual question is: it depends on the individual woman. Good luck figuring that one out.

*MY* answer to this is: women with sweet souls and knowing hearts will understand that you mean "love" in the nicest of ways.

The other women who are looking for a reason to get mad, upset, and offended - well who cares! They are the kind of women who are going to find something you say or do as offensive.

So, all in all, I say go ahead, you might make someone's day. And that day just might be mine!!!! :)

Answer 6

That would actually be something that i would almost expect to be normal coming from someone with a brittish or australian accent. Maybe that's a little bit steriotypical of me, but you hear it on movies and stuff, and I wouldn't be offended. I'd take it as something that's just a part of a that kind of culture. Just like some people from rural areas, or southern usa saying howdy, or certain people saying y'all. Actually it would kind of be nice to be called love actually feel like i'm being treated with the kind of respect that most men never treat a woman with.

Answer 7

It think it's a cute and sweet way to address a woman. I hear this (love)more from a British and Australian person. Since you are Australian, well you're accustom to it. I think the women who think it's patronizing need to be open minded and get to learn other culture's custom. It's annoying to see that people are so closed in their world that they can't adapt or appreciate other people's custom.
I think it's sweet to say love; people say darling, honey, guys all the time; it's the same term of interaction...

Answer 8

Depends on the style of restaurant and its clientele. If the patrons are mostly young and from the neighborbood, or the restaurant is what in the US is called a "diner", you can get away with it. But be judicious about it; don't do it automatically.

Answer 9

I'm sure where you are it's quite endearing! And it does depend on the social culture.

in London, I address my friends as 'darling' ('let's do brunch today, darling')
'dear' is usually used for sweet little ladies ('oh, thank you, dear')
So 'LOVE' sounds quite pleasant and shouldn't really offend anyone. Now if you'd addressed these women, as 'you sexy thing' you then might get a real reaction - not necessarily a negative one, though!LOL!

Answer 10

hi, hows it going. i am aussie too, and i dont think most of us are offended by it. it is something that most of us hear at least once a day. i dont mind it at all, and i certainly dont think it is patronising. i think some people just like to be able to find something to be offended over. i am a chick, and i call some ladies love as well. please dont stop calling us this because some people get annoyed. anyway, what would they prefer to be called?

Thanks lady? or, thanks woman? it is generally said to people when we dont know their name, so i dont understand the problem.