When thechild was brought back,the child smelled musty(as if without a bath in a few days)..and their hair wasn't combed or brushed and smelled sweaty and dirty also.The child was also VERY hungry....Would you send this child to stay with the same person again?...What if it was a grandparent??...How would you handle it when they asked to take your kid again??
2007-02-01 18:52:44 · 14 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
She went for a week..Grandma also left out info about my daughter's visit when asked what they did.I didn't find out that she went certain places or did certain things until someone else told me.She also avoided ALL of the rules that I set down before my child left.I feel awful that I let her go.Nowgrammy's asking to take her for 3weeks!!I told her I'd think about it,but it's a definite NO this time!Perhaps she can come to our house or nearby andstay around for 3weeks.......What do you guys think?
2007-02-01 19:08:22 · update #1
Grandma's not old...knocking on 50..very healthy.There was noe excuse for her to smell and be hungry and unkept.
2007-02-01 19:34:02 · update #2
Grandma's not old...knocking on 50..very healthy.There was no excuse for her to smell and be hungry and unkept.
2007-02-01 19:34:14 · update #3
3 is too young to be away from his mom. It sounds like the grandparents may be a bit too old to look after him. Invite them to stay with you for a while or go with him and stay in a motel close by so you can visit with them each day. Dirt never killed a child but it shows they probably aren't up to the task.
2007-02-01 18:57:50 · answer #1 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that this isn't simply from the trip (which I doubt, if she hasn't had a bath in several days), then it sounds like whoever was responsible for the child severly neglected their duties. It may be that their grandparent is a little too old to give a 3-year-old the right amount of care, or that they're growing a little senile. You should probably confront them on how you feel, and explain how you don't feel secure letting your child stay with them anymore (although, I will admit, that will probably set off a lot of fireworks)
I don't think that the child shouldn't be allowed to SEE this family member, but I don't think she should be left alone with them either. Try compromising, like having them come to your place instead, or going when you can get time of work, and making it a family trip.
(On a side note, I would have thought that 3 years was a little young to be away from you and your partner for an entire week; at that age my brother still freaked out whenever mum was gone for more than 4 hours - I can't speak for myself, of course, since I can't really remember that long ago!)
2007-02-02 03:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by spira_darkeyes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it depends did they ride back to your house or where ever in a car? If so was it hot and a long drive that could explain the sweatyness and the hunger if they had eaten a bit b4 they left. Just let them know that you would appriciate if they would take batter care of the child when they were there bathed them every night and fed them right b4 they came home. Just see how it goes next time b4 going off the deep end. there might be an explanation about what happened or it could have been a rough day. you might not wanna make it a week possibly just a weekend next time like friday to sunday maybe. I for one dont think i could let my child go out of state with out me for a little bit let alone a whole week but thats just me(i have a 2 year old). At 3 your child should be able to talk enough to tell you what they did.
2007-02-02 03:02:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jeremysmom05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your child's protection and benefit, Please Do Not let the child go see that gramma again! Child Protective Services in your area could have been called in on the gramma if someone had noticed this earlier. It concerns me that the child was not kept clean, but also the house where gramma lives is not kept clean. If gramma asks to take the child again-the answer is a solid---NO!---For a child to be starved, unkempt, NOT GOOD! There is an Adult Protective Services for older adults who may not be able to care for themsleves, that can be reported, if the safety and health of that adult is of great concern. Wishing you and the child the best. Take care.
2007-02-02 03:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohmigosh - I would not be a pleasant person if my child was returned in that condition. That is YOUR child, not grammy's. Protect him or her even if it hurts the grandparent's feelings. Not everyone was born to parent, and not everyone is born to grandparent. Just because this woman gave birth to a child who had a child does not a grandmother make.
In the future I would say, "No. The last time s/he came back to me this was what happened (fill in the blank). I am not comfortable with that, and since this child is my responsibility and my charge, I have to make decisions in his/her best interest."
2007-02-02 03:34:37 · answer #5 · answered by April 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely tell her no. I would explain to her exactly why also. This is your child, and you are responsible for her well being. Don't let her push you over because she is the child's grandmother. If she can't take care of her better than that and follow your rules, then she doesn't deserve the privilege of spending that time with your child again.
2007-02-02 03:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by mommyof2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! What's going to hsppen next time?
I am a father and I understand how you feel. If they can't take care of him/her properly, then they are out of your child's life. The only way they can be ib is to have supervised visitation rights. I have seen things that would scare you so bad that you would never take your baby out again. But what you must decide is how much is your child's life worth. People don't want to believe how careless others are with your child until after it happens.
2007-02-02 03:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definetly would not leave the child with grandma alone. Maybe you can visit as well, or arrange for some other family member to visit at the same time. Otherwise, your idea of having grandma come over sounds good.
2007-02-02 16:11:28 · answer #8 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd talk to them about it being honest is better than avoiding any situation For me personally I wouldn't allow them to take my child again because if the child was returned in that condition after 3 days imagine if they want to take my child for a week. If they asked you again I'd just say "Let me think about it."
2007-02-02 02:58:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 3 year old daughter and I couldn't even imagine being without her for THREE WEEKS! Not to mention the fact that it's just way too long for such a young child to be away from home.
Grandparent, aunt, uncle ... I'd say NO.
2007-02-02 03:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by tgfann 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋