Okay, my boyfriend and I got into this huge fight about me flirting with other guys, and how he doesn't like it. It's all in he's head! I don't go around flirting with guys and if a guy happens to flirt with me (which happens every time we go out!) it's not like I can just get up leave. I mean what's wrong with a little flirting? Anyway He was really angry with me and I was extremely pissed because he was making a big deal out of nothing. So in the middle of our augment I called him a son of a b!tch. He yelled, "Don't talk about my mother! Take it back now." I said "NOO." At this point he looked almost enraged. When I said he was a son of a b!tch I didn't literally mean that, however that was how he took it. The next thing I know he's on the sofa pulling me over his lap, pulling up my skirt (I was to shocked to even fight back!), and spanking me really hard! It hurt really, really bad. I started to cry and he stopped, telling me he was very sorry and he didn't know what came over him. Later I told him I was going home and he begged me to stay the night, but I left anyway. He told me that when I called him a son of a b!tch it brought back memories of how his mother was a b!tch, and use to get drunk beat the crap out of him and his two younger siblings. I know what he did was wrong and painful, however I really love him. Should I leave him even after what he told me?
2007-02-01 18:22:04 · 25 answers · asked by Maria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not flirting with other guys...it's just that I get alot of unwanted attention from them and I think this is the why he get so pissed. And it's not my fault! I wouldn't leave him for another man.
2007-02-01 18:53:40 · update #1
First of all I think that your b/f is a bit jealous for getting angry about other guys flirting with you and I think that he's a bit unsecure about you. If he's so then he has to have a reason why he's acting this way and so I would talk to him to see what exactly is the matter. Make him understand that you love him and that you will never cheat him. When doing so probably he will understand and will stop getting angry when other guys flirt with you.
When you called him that way, even if you didn't mean it, you hurt him very much because that phrase hurts everybody and he never expected it from you, HIS G/F. And so if I were you I would apologise for what you have said.
Last and final thing is that he must not hit you. He has no right to hit and it's the worst thing a man can do when hitting a girl.
I think that you should give him another chance before getting to hurried decisions. Give him some more time but if you see him getting more aggressive then I think you should leave him.
Hope this helps hun and Good Luck dear.
2007-02-01 19:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Falcon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u love him u won't be thinking of leaving him, if so, u don't love him. What he did was wrong..he shldn't use his past as an excuse to hit u, no guys/girls shld lay hands on their partner. From those arguments, u are at fault too...for a guy to be pissed when his gf flirts...is cause he loves u...jealousy is love..if he got no feeling for u, he won't even be jealous right? Think abt that, arguments consists of 2 person...so neither is right nor wrong, just learn to control ur temper and tell him that too...be mature abt it, it's just an argument...are u gonna ask for a divorce in the future cos of an argument?? You both shld take some time off and chill!
2007-02-01 18:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by DooGie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him. This doesn't have to be a permanent break up (although I would want it to be). He seems to be blaming you for all of his problems that he can't control, and that's extremely unhealthy for both of you. It's hard to break up with someone especially after they open up to you like that, but he only opened up to you because he hurt you and needed to provide an excuse. Otherwise, he may have never told you. You calling him a name (which you were justified in doing, if he's being a total jerk about something you have no control over) should never lead to him hitting you, no matter what.
And one more thing, I understand where jealousy could be associated with love, but I almost completely disagree. I have a boyfriend who gets unnecessarily jealous and it makes me so angry because 1. he doesn't own me, and if I actually find someone else out there who can make me happier, I'm going to go with him instead and 2. he really doesn't need to show that he's jealous. if you're jealous that other men hit on your girlfriend, be a man and suck it up for the sake of your relationship. it's not cute, it's annoying.
2007-02-01 18:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by jesuswasshady 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
okay my last bf was the same although he never spanked me, he feels insecure and threathned cause he loves you and he hates the thought of you leaving him for another guy its understandable next time a guy flirts with you just tell them you have a bf straight out and that will be that it happened me all the time and that got rid of them for me...
i would stay with him he is obviously shaking up about it, and the thing with his mum most have been very traumatic as a child...
calling him that probably brought angre that he had from when he was a child and knowing that he couldnt do anything about it he lashed out it could have happened to anyone
he loves you 2 bits and you love him try get over this, compared to everything else a spanking isnt that bad it could be worse...
2007-02-01 20:44:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you. He's trying to cope with so much and just doesn't fully realize you weren't there and that you can't possibly understand what he saw and went through growing up. He took it personally and you weren't fully aware of how your name calling affected him. He needs to learn to deal with these issues and if you're wanting to be with him you need to be very understanding and supportive.
We don't always flirt intentionally and sometimes don't even realize we do it. If he points it out than reassure him you want him and not someone else. It obviously makes him feel horrible and probably jealous. He needs to know he can trust you and your feelings for him.
Distrust is not something we try to feel and believe me you have no idea, how miserable it is for the people who feel it and can't seem to get over it. Communication, understanding and compromise are needed! Couples counseling may be something to look into.
Good luck...I hope you two can work things out! Drop me a line if you wanna chat! :)
2007-02-01 19:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy of 2 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-16 10:52:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you both need to seek counseling. He has anger management problems and makes excuses for his actions. You, however, seem to enjoy baiting him. If you know flirting bothers him and you continue to do so ( your statement about flirting being harmless gives away that you do), then you seem to want to cause friction in the relationship. I would advise splitting up for awhile at least until you both can get the help you need. Afterward, you should decide whether to pick up the relationship again.
2007-02-01 19:04:48 · answer #7 · answered by fly guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoa! that's what's called 'in the heat of the moment'!! its strange, but the way i see it, sometimes the more a guy loves a girl, the more he seems to be doing everything he can to lose her. its not because he wants to lose her, he just gets so afraid of losing her, he cannot bear ANY other guy even looking at his girl. so he needs to be reassured - if a guy comes over and starts flirting with you, you need to show your boyfriend that you are paying him more attention than whoever is trying to flirt with you. you are killing 2 birds with one stone here, showing your man AND the 'flirter' exactly who you are with. it wont stop guys for trying it on, but it will show your guy who you are interested in. as for the spanking, you said something that brought some very painful memories to him. that wasnt your fault, but he has told you about them now, and that gives you a good way to show more interest in him by talking through his childhood with him. dont worry, you guys have some ground to cover, but i think you will do fine together. all my best wishes and good luck!
2007-02-01 20:18:43 · answer #8 · answered by wolf man 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This guy has issues, BIG issues. NO matter what your bagage is, NO matter what someone says: You cannot, CANNOT, hurt someone like he hurt you.
Yet ...
I think you guys should take the time to tal, or shall I say: Give him the chance to tell you what is going on in his mind. Maybe he should speak to someone, as some experiences are very hard to deal with.
You should try to be very - even more - considerate without shoving yourself and your own needs aside. That means no flirting, because aparently he has very strong objections as he is clearly afraid that he will lose you. What seems innocent to you, is very hurtful to him. And that is what you have to keep in mind.
2007-02-01 18:32:24 · answer #9 · answered by MM 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can't get past the fact that this man hit you. There is NO excuse at all for man hitting a woman (or Visa verse) This could well be the start of a life of violence if you stay with him. Get out now, before something worse happens.
2007-02-01 19:40:13 · answer #10 · answered by ☞H.Potter☜ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋