what is the best way to repair a realtionship with my daughter she seems to hold so much against me?

Question

she always seems so bitter at me and i dont know what i have done and the tension keeps building. I am at a breaking point i try talking but she refuses to listen

Answer 1

Hi!

The advice I'm going to give you is some of the simplest advice you'll ever hear, fail-proof, and yet the toughest to follow.

START TREATING YOUR DAUGHTER EXACTLY THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.

1. WATCH YOUR TONE. Young women can hear sarcasm, gruffness, irritation, boredom, anger, impatience etc in your voice. If she detects even a little of that in the way that you're talking to her, it will grate her raw and she will break through glass to get away from you.

2. BE KIND. Stop thinking so much about what all you've done for her. "I feed you, I clothe you," blah blah blah. When you start being generally loving and kind to her, SHE will tell YOU how much she appreciates all of your sacrifices. This will take a little time for maturity on her part. But if you are kind--continuously kind (and patient), she will blossom like a flower in your hands.

3. SHUT UP. Not to be mean, but I hear you saying that you're trying to TALK TO HER. But I don't hear you saying that you're LISTENING. There's a huge difference there that most parents TOTALLY miss. And it drives their kids NUTS! Try an exercise. Ask her a tough question. Then prepare to button your lip and JUST LISTEN. Trust me, she'll already suspect that you'll only be asking her a question as a platform for your latest, "I AM PARENT THE GREAT" sermon. So surprise her. Tell her, "Honey, I see you growing into an amazing person. I really want to listen to what you're thinking." Then LISTEN. You'll blow her away.

All in all, you still hold the cards. Uphold your rules (if they're fair). And don't let her run over you. In the end, beat your chest, cry some tears, climb the walls if you need to--but learn how to be tender and listen to that girl. Lose the words "I told you so," and find the words "I love you. I want to understand..." Be the parent who knows how to love their little girl even when she's taking shots below the belt. When she strikes out, respond with firm but loving patience and gentleness. In the end, respect and love for you will (eventually) prevail over her bitterness and anger. She won't be able to stop herself from loving you--forever. One day at time.

Answer 2

You have not mentioned the reason for your daughter being bitter at you. There is every likelihood that she has reason to be bitter. Anyway, in the presence of known relation, talk to your daughter (and I am sure, she will listen then) and make her comfortable that you are not her parent, but a friend and that she is free to refer any problem to you as a friend in confidence rather than a parent.
You can also speak to her close friend (alone) and try to find out the reason for her being bitter at you.
Wishing you luck in your effort. If you succeed in restoring good relations with daughter, please intimate me on [e-mail] I shall be happy to receive your e mail.

Answer 3

Well more description of your situation would help wit a better answer, but here's what i got for you.If she's an adult talk to her, serious like a friend.Ask her why is she acting like this towards you.I mean cause if she's a grown woman she should be able to talk to you maturely.As for if she's a teenager, there's no easy way to do this, but you must talk to her now, Any procrastination could cause a long life ahead of resentment.or like me and my step mom, we only got along, when i moved out, you know some woman have those clashing attitudes.Good luck.

Answer 4

Dads should understand that when they've hurt their children in some way (even if they think they haven't) they have to work twice as hard to mend the relationship. Continue to SHOW her that you care and want to make things work. Your actions will probably say a whole lot more than your words until she's ready to talk.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

all i can say is that you really need to try to put yourself in her shoes. see from your daughter's eyes and consider her point of view. it could be issues at school. or maybe she doesn't even mean to.

Answer 7

Maybe she needs some space ?

Answer 8

I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD WRITE A DIARY WHICH SHOWS THAT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER LEAVE THAT AT ANY PLACE WHERE SHE VISITS FREQUENTLY MIGHT BE SHE CHANGES BY READING IT.

Answer 9

Well, maybe you should try another approach

Answer 10

why like that maybe u do wrong to her , ask sorry if u have mistake ,