He is already long distance, plus now, he will be moving to another country altogether. Plus, he is the silent kinds. He is someone who keeps things inside him. How can I ever know what's bothering him. What can I do to really be there for him. Guys, any sugestions? What exactly does a guy appreciate? Details would help.
2007-02-01 17:52:34 · 9 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Guys, thanks for ur responses...but none of the answers (so far) are what I wanted really. My question was basically bout how to be there for him through his struggles when he is so silent and tends to keep his problems to himself. In that scenario, what exactly can I do or say....
2007-02-01 18:06:09 · update #1
okay, this is a subject i can say i've had quite a bit of experience with. i've been through several ldr's now and although some did not work, it made me learn alot.
in fact, i'm now married to the person i've had a ldr with.
with ldr, even the smallest of things matter. a call, a sms, a mms, msn, and please do not forget letters and they can go a long way, even though everything is now so digitalized. that's why having that personal touch with a letter goes a long way.
staying connected to each other via various means of communication is key, as that's the only way you stay in tune with each other, the day to day things, thoughts, feelings. its expensive, but if you really love the person, it's worth it.
no one said it was ever going to be easy. relationships are already difficult maintain and adding ldr just makes its harder. so it takes a lor of effort, dedication, patience and understanding. never assume what the other is doing or thinking as it will only lead to misunderstanding and fights. make every moment, be it a phone call, email, etc count... always say how you feel, never take it for granted to tell how you feel, because that small act can make someone's day.
good luck!
2007-02-01 18:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by brandonlkj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a quiet type myself. I find it hard to let things out that most people have no problem talking about. Therefore, what I really appreciate is when a girl is a good listener in the way that she is easy to talk to. Someone who is not judgemental and who helps me get things out. You can do this by simply asking more questions. I, for instance, sometimes come off as stuck up since I don't converse a lot but it's not that I am it's just that I am not very good in conveying feelings or ideas into words. I'll give you one example of how to help him get things out. Ask him how his day was. He'll probably just say that it was good. Then ask him what made it good? What did he do? Why did he do what he did?... I know it sounds kinda of stupid but it really helps. On the other hand, sometimes I don't really feel like talking at all but instead just someone to listen to. My idea of a conversation isn't me talking half the time, it's me listening mostly. Therefore, since you probably will be doing most of the talking anyways, you should tell him about yourself and ask for his opinion on things. This will show him that you care about what he thinks and I think he will really appreciate that....I hope this helps, good luck.
2007-02-01 18:20:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
one word, "Long distance relationship never last and will not work no matter how much you try!" You never knows what the other person is doing as welll as you. If you really wants the relationship to last, you both must live within that area. You are just wasting your time with the long dustance relationship.
But if you want to try:
1. Send him warming cards once a week.
2. call him often to see what he is doing.
3. Tell him to visit you once while, if he kept on saying he is busy, then there is somthing going on. If possible, you visit him once awhile.
4. Alwasy keep in touch him all the time, with email or letters.
Remeber, a relationship only last if you both trys and wants it to last!
2007-02-01 18:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by kathy T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm in the military and if you didn't know we have to deal with this kinda thing all the time, we have the highest divorce rates due to this.So let me ask you are you fully committed to him, during this distance,and even more are you absolutely positive he feels the exact way.Cause a relationship can survive alot, only if both parties are putting 100% of them selves in to it.And i agree it want be easy with him being the silent type.But depending on how well you know him you and only you can figure out the best way to communicate.Talk to him and see how he feels about the distance,so you can see where you''ll stand,Good luck, and take care.
2007-02-01 18:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by pvy_crazy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you asked me a year ago, you probably would've gotten a very different response. But, the way i see it now, the only type of guys who get into long distance relationships and/or online relationships are not the kind of guys you want to be with! You can never know what they're doing. They usually have something to hide. Most of the time they don't really intend on being with you long term. They can say they're loyal and faithful and can be screwing their neighbor. You just never know. Please be careful.
2007-02-01 18:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Freaked out 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last part of your question was pretty bad really.
what would a guy appreciate? or what would a guy wanna keep you and feel wanted.
just whenever he calls answer.
at least.
leave him pleny of comments on myspace email etc.
txts all day long.
missed calls when you get in your car after work.
with 2-3 voicemails.
that cheers me up.
even though theres no one to do that right now.
answer my question to please?
but yeah, just how long have you've been together? thats alot.
honestly i don't think new long distant relationships will ever work.
seriously. im sry its my opinion....
however if your that close to each other you do have hopes..
2007-02-01 17:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by ssig_ru2systems 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you just really need to show that you are there for him. Send him little gifts often to let him know you are thinking of him. Take pictures and send them to him. Be faithful. Let him know that the distance doesnt matter.
2007-02-01 17:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anna P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him out of the blue! He'd be happy to get a call from you whenever! Just let him know that you're there for him and he can tell you anything and you'll try your hardest to help him with advice or anything! good luck:)
2007-02-01 18:00:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way is u go there with him if both of u r seriously in love.if it's just a beginning,u can sms,phone n email him everyday.buy him a toy if he likes it.
2007-02-01 18:00:56 · answer #9 · answered by robert KS LEE. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋