I've been dating a guy for more than a year now. I love our conversations, our laughters, well, i think I love him. he did tell me how much he loves me but I am hesitant because of the age gap. Can it really work?
2007-02-01 17:26:36 · 23 answers · asked by kazak 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was 19, My first husband was 38. He died at the age of 41. and it was the best relationship marriage I had in my whole life, I had 2 girls by him, he was wonderful. that has been 29 years ago. I haven't been happy, happy since. All depends on you and him. Mine was awesome.
2007-02-01 17:31:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That gap is borderline acceptable. The 38 yr old is already mature but the 25 yr old is just there. Of course, love makes everything work. If you ever want to think about the practical aspect, you look at what will happen 20-30 years from now. He will be almost 60 (entering his golden years) when you are in you mid 40s and at the prime of your life. Soon after he turns 50, he won't feel very active and want to think about retirement while you are still physically active. And it also depends on when you have children. How he interacts with his children is somewhat age dependent. And you want to pray that you won't spend your life after 50 taking care of an old guy till his departure. The only posible upside is that he has made his fortune by 50 and you are all set for life.
2007-02-02 01:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not? I dated a man that was 12 years older than me when I was 24. We had great times together, never noticed the age difference. The only time it came up is when we talked about my job or career. I was still figuring out all that, and was very unstable, constantly changing jobs, bouncing around. I always had an income, but didn't know where I was going with my career. That was the only thing that really made the both of us feel our age gap.
2007-02-02 01:32:04 · answer #3 · answered by Keep It Sane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age means nothing.
You seem to like him and he said he loves you.
Does it matter how old a tree is? A tree is still beautiful--actually more beautiful the older it gets.
You are 13 years younger. That is nothing.
You listened to much of the same music when you were in high school that he did when he was in college, probably. You know Madonna and Duran Duran and Queen and Phil Collins, right?
We're not talking about Benny Goodman and James Blunt, are we?
But, actually, you should know Benny Goodman and he should know James Blunt.
If you don't know something about his tastes or he doesn't know something about his, you should both share CDs. That is part of the responsiblility of being in a relationship. A relationship is about enjoying what each other likes. You should BE interested in his music, TV shows, etc...
If you share those things, it could be really fun.
Otherwise, what...? He doesn't wear a bow-tie and hat, does he?
You don't carry a Spongebob lunchbox around, do you?
I don't mean to be sarcastic. Please, don't misunderstand me.
What I am trying to say is: in our "age" of Internet and Pop culture, what is age, really?! Nothing. We share so much in common.
Don't think about such a silly thing as age.
Especially, when the difference is only 13 years!
Really!
And, don't think about his race.
And, don't think about his religion.
And, don't think about any of the hangups old people do...
It makes YOU seem like the old-fashioned one!
Aren't you, as the younger one, supposed to be more open-minded and accepting?
I hope you stay together and have a great future.
2007-02-02 01:39:37 · answer #4 · answered by joe m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are in the same "emotional space" meaning that your feelings about kids, life, marriage, sex, God, time, death, family, and science are all sympatico, then age will have so very little affect on anything.
But if you are not in the same space on these emotional/spiritual issues, then your age difference will be only one difference among many that could potentially cause a huge problem.
Now, don't think that I'm saying that all differences of opinion are a hazard to your relationship. I'm only saying that if the two of you have discussed all such issues, and you have been able to strike a balance that's comfortable and rewarding for both of you, then your ages will not matter because you will be creating the kind of balanced, loving connection that romantic relationships fundamentally need.
On the real however, since he is getting a bit older, his health will most likely fail considerably earlier than yours will. Especially since men normally fall victim to certain age illnesses even earlier than SAME-AGE female counterparts. So naturally, being so much older than you, his health will probably fail far sooner than yours would.
And even if he stays wonderfully healthy,--which would be great--it's not too unusual for men to become sedentary. A VERY common complaint from women who are involved with older men is, "We used to go out and do things. Now,I still want to go to the movies and have fun . All HE wants to do is go to work, then come home and sit on the sofa." I have seen it become a very frustrating situation.
Altogether, I'm sure you see that it is your decision. I suppose the most responsible thing for you to realize, however, is that the "feel-good" feeling that you have with this older man will come with definite costs and compromises should you choose to pursue a long-term relationship.
I really hope and pray things work out for the best!
2007-02-02 01:56:18 · answer #5 · answered by HyperBeauty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It will work out, i am sure of it. My mother and step father are about 20 to 25 years apart. They have been together for 5 years now. and if you could see them. you'd know they are great together. So i am soo sure you and your man will work out. I mean don't think so much about the age difference, think on all his good qualities and how much you love him. Don't let something like age get in the way of such a good relationship.
2007-02-02 01:35:28 · answer #6 · answered by photo_girl_90 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
38-25 He would probably like sitting at home you would like to go out dancing
48-35 He is older and wouldn't like you away from him much because of jealousy Do u share the same activities?
58-45 Speaks for itself
68--55 Looking towards having a carer
2007-02-02 01:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend is 14yrs younger than me and I dont think the age difference has ever been an issue. If you enjoy each others company, have trust and love each other, what more do you need. You could meet someone born on the same day as you, doesnt mean that you are compatible
2007-02-02 03:19:46 · answer #8 · answered by scorpiosa70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O yes it can work. He is older then you and your the female . It is always different if you were 38 most women want to have had there childeren by then. So dont worry about the age go for it.
2007-02-02 01:30:33 · answer #9 · answered by babycakes3557 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the two of you, sweetie, not us. My first hubby was my age...my current one is 16 years my senior. And we started dating when I was 24. Course, I DID get a letter in the mail this week from a woman introducing herself as my husband's fiancee sooooo...
Hey, Watchman! Don't tell her he'll never cheat on her with another woman...these things happen all the time.
2007-02-02 01:37:35 · answer #10 · answered by miss b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋