Ive got a big problem, I really am crazy about a guy but have pushed him away and now we're just casual fooling around doing 0-r-a-l with each other.
But now Ive decided I do want him. I dont know what to do.
Im thinking of trying to tell him that I dont want to just fool around , I want to date him.
And if he walks he walks. Im just sorry I pushed him away first.
I let the fact that he is a different religion/political background and younger than me influence me. (almost 6 years younger (im 36 hes almost 31)
I realised too late that I m crazy about him.
But was I right to reject him over those issues ?
There is a great guy who loves me who is my age (36) my religion (but i dont even practice my religion at all) and my political background.
But I love the other guy who seemed all wrong for me.
What do I do ?
2007-02-01 17:19:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should base your decision on who you think is the most compatible with you in always (interest, likes, dislikes, wants to get married or does not, wants to have children with you or not, etc.). What do you want out of a relationship?
Who could you see yourself in a long term relationship with?
You have to decide what criteria is most important to you when choosing a mate. For some people, religion is a very important factor so you have to decide whether it is for you or not.
Whatever you do, don't base your decision only on lust or sex. I'm not saying you are doing that, but in the event that you might be don't let it be the only factor.
If the 31 year old really seems to be all wrong for you, and only you can be the judge of that, then don't pursue a relationship with someone you know is not right for you. Also, keep in mind you don't have to necessarily narrow your choices down to these two guys, if you think neither of them is right for you.
While you are looking at these two guys, judge them on their own merit, and don't compare them with each other. Look at each one individually in terms of whether or not you want to be with one or the other.
2007-02-01 17:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by Seldom Seen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. Don't let differences like religion and politics decide your soulmate. If you argue constantly over those issues, then stay clear away from him. But if you accept each other's beliefs then there isn't a problem. I would tell the guy you pushed away how you feel. Like you said, if he walks, he walks. And if he does walk, then his feelings for you aren't what you thought. Who do you think about the most? Who can you picture yourself being with in the future? Which guy do you see by your side when you're having a bad day? I think you already know the answer to your question...
2007-02-02 01:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by corianne2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the other guy just likes the sex, he is getting exactly what he wants without commitments. You have already stated the differences of the belief's and things, so why keep trying to hang on to a casual sexual affair, instead of taking the one and being serious about the one that you seem to think fits your life the best , which is more like you . I think your more fascinated with the younger guy thing than your are a real commitment. Better be smart now, would hate to see you loose the guy that seems more fitted to you than your sex fantasy , both will eventually get the picture and you could loose out all together.
2007-02-02 01:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by m c 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dang girl, o-r-a-l aint something to be "fooling around" with. At least with the guy your age you have more common ground. When you say you pushed the younger guy away, was he serious about wanting a relationship? Apparently he don't need a serious relationship with you to get what he really wants anyway, cex, since you admit to being so casual about it. If your so crazy about him, you wouldn't even be thinking about this other guy you have more in common with. And you say this other guy loves you but I bet he wouldn't be so fond if he knew you were giving this other guy casual o-r-a-l cex. And apparently you don't practice your religion cuz I bet your religion wouldn't promote casual cex either. I think you want what you know is "wrong" cause your getting a cheap thrill from it, but honey, it aint gonna last. Go ahead, tell him how you feel, and see how long your "friendship" lasts.
2007-02-02 01:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by prismcat38 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that age is a difference in many cases most say it does not but believe me it does. I am in a realationship my self of a realllllllll big age difference. And he loves me to death. How ever I care about him but do not love him. I no that it wont last forever. Hey is all you can do is give it your best shot and tell him like it is . And if he isnt all for it then move on. It dont mean that you have to choose the other one either if this on rejects you. Find what you deserve dont settle for less.
2007-02-02 01:24:59 · answer #5 · answered by babycakes3557 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you were wrong to reject him over those issues.....i guess at the beginning you just used it as an excuse, but you seem to find out the hard way that love knows no boundaries.....and the fact that you rejected him because of his political and religion background is a reaction inherited by mostly everyone from fear of dissapointing their parents
2007-02-02 01:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by fox mulder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the other guy doesn't have a problem with your age/religion/political views than why should you. You don't have to be exactly the same to like each other. Just be yourself. You can't help who you love. If the original guy loves you back and wants to try... I say: GO FOR IT!
2007-02-02 01:24:05 · answer #7 · answered by Scrole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well lets see he only cares for you when it's time for oral. that is the way he treats you so you want to pick him over the other guy. well I think you are making a mistake. If he met you and you were doing that and then how long do you think it will take for him to find other oral once everything wears off. he does not in my book treat a lady right to begin with. i would stay with who loves you.
2007-02-02 01:31:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot see that your intention is to have long relation term relationship with any one at the moment. your emotions confusing you. Also you are trying to have a date with him & after that you will again reject him. In this case you will have to handle it deifferent. Say that you like to go to a special place that you like & would like to go with him. this will be a good start.
Good luck!
2007-02-02 01:31:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start completely over and check out the other fish in the sea.
2007-02-02 01:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anomaly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋