I have been in a three year relationship with a man that has serious anger problems. He gets jealous around my friends and he gets really angry with me for little things. When he treats me bad, I get mad, and he gets even madder at me for being mad. It snowballs until he is verbally abusing me. On occasion he has pushed me or physically hurt me some how. Him and his family say that he is only that way because they say I push his buttons. My pushing buttons, I guess, is me sticking up for my self when he is out of line. Is it true he won't act like that with someone else? Or will he treat every girl like this?
2007-02-01 16:47:48 · 24 answers · asked by xylia_luna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's probably drawn to women that tolerate being abused - or to women that will say things that will make him mad, so he has an excuse to act out and get violent.
I'd bet money that he NEVER gets violent with other men! Especially men who are stronger than him or who are authority figures (bosses, cops ect)!
Also, his family enable and defend him - I would bet money that in his family, all of the men are physically abusive and all of the women tolerate it!
Break the cycle - dump this idiot and find a man who won't yell at you or hit you!
No offense to your boyfriend, but men who hit women are cowardly wusses! You can do better - you can find a REAL MAN who won't abuse you!
Above all IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
It's his fault for being abusive!
He can't blame anybody but himself for his abusive conduct!!!
Walk away from him and his sick family, and find a real man!!!
2007-02-01 16:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not walk, run from this guy. When abusive language turns to physical abuse, you need to get away, and not go back. His problem will never stop. He sounds like he is very controlling and this could end up in him hurting you real bad or worse. This is not a good relationship, and after three years and all this going on, do you really think anything will change for the better, it want. He needs serious help and you need to get away. Yes, I think he would eventually treat every girl the same way. He is a controller, do not let him ruin you life.
2007-02-01 17:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he probably will treat every girl like this, and no, it is not your fault. Anger issues is a serious problem, especially if you're planning on spending the rest of your life with this guy (three years tells me this might be the case?). Statistically, issues you have when you're dating seriously escalate when you're married. Do you really want to put yourself through that abuse for the rest of your life? Do you really want a guy who gets mad at the "little things" to be the father of your children? I guarantee that he will find kids far more "annoying" than you, and abuse of any kind is NOT something any child-- or any woman, for that matter-- should have to go through.
2007-02-01 16:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by janeowyn180 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very likely to want to blame yourself being in the situation that you are in and no it is not true he won't act like this with someone else. You need to leave him and not be afraid, I have watched my mom battle with her husband, not my dad, for years now. She always says she is leaving but ends up going right back and every time it has been worse than the time before it. He will in fact treat every woman like this he has a sickness that only years of therapy can help. I hope you do the right thing for your own safety. Good Luck!!
2007-02-01 16:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey this is going to keep happening with every lady he has a relationship with. This is nothing you are doing, it is the type of person he is. It is something with in him that he is not secure with. Don't you ever let someone tell you that it is your fault for something that someone else chooses to do. You do how ever need to get away from this so called man before he really hurts you. I was in a relationship where I was beat almost daily for things that was my fault. I finally wised up after 4 kids and left 15 1/2 yrs later and been gone for 10 yrs now. I must tell you it took lots of therapy for me and he has beat everyone since then that he has been with. I had to ask him once well did they make you do it to or was it always just me? funny how they shove it onto someone else and they call them selves men. What ever! but honey you need to go before it gets worse and trust me it will.
2007-02-01 16:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should already know if he acts that way with other people. I think its possible you are a person that fights for dominance in a relationship, and don't like to back down or you will feel inferior. This is very typical. My relationship with my mother was like that. She absolutely had to feel superior and dominant at all times or she would become very frustrated and yell and hit. I did everything I could to retaliate verbally. It's called an adversarial relationship. You are both afraid of being considered inferior and losing control. You both need a lot of counseling. I just avoid people like that entirely.
2007-02-01 16:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by martin h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, first i can tell your in love or eithier dumb.(sorry, for the name calling)but you gotta be slow some how to even considering that abuse, is acceptable with an excuse.Thats like saying i can shoot someone, cause they push my buttons.We're not talking about abuse, we're talking about your life.Your body can only take so much abuse, before your own body gives out, and you don't recover.And i'm being seriuos, my mom almost got killed due to a abusive husband. I at the age of 12, fought my step dad with a bat,cause he was beating my mom to death..Seriously walk a way,love isn't that.And obviously his family is use to his ignore ***. But you don't have to.Cause i can promise you, if you think it's bad now, it only gets worse, roll out.....Take care for real.
2007-02-01 17:07:07 · answer #7 · answered by pvy_crazy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man has a problem. He does not know it or is able to ignore it because his family is stopping him from getting treatment by misguiding him. HE has a PROBLEM. That problem is NOT you. His problem is that he has buttons that any decent girl will push. If your love for him is just love, leave him andrun for your life away from him. Sooner or later he will end up in a Police cell and youdo not want to be the one doing it.
If you are madly in love with him and can't live without him, seek someone else who can give you half thelove without abuse.
2007-02-01 17:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by tony01p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hell no. YOU are not at fault for how he REACTS. He has a choice to be rational about the way he acts.
Yes people do get on each others nerves, but at no time does that give him or you the right or reason to verbally or physically attack one another.
Based on your discussion about his jealousy and anger toward you it sounds like abuse. You probably need to leave this relationship. His family is lying to you by defending him and disrespecting you by telling you that specifically you are at fault for the bad treatment.
No one is looking out for you. You need to look out for yourself and leave.
2007-02-01 16:56:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's controlling...leave him! If he's physically and verbally abusing you than there's something wrong! Sticking up for yourself is taking his control away and that makes him angry! He's gonna treat anyone this way until he finds someone who will allow him to be in control. He could really hurt you...don't wait for that to happen!
2007-02-01 17:07:30 · answer #10 · answered by Mommy of 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋