Okay, let me rephrase that.
Say someone is bent on doing something their way; they have the passion to do it, but not the logic.
I'm not saying this particular person is stupid, they just rush into things without thinking.
So I tell them a large fault in their plan, which would severely deter them.
Suddenly, I have all these insults flying at my face.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, and I didn't offend her in the least, but I didn't expect that.
So what should I do the next time I mention something like that to her?
And if I can't prevent the torrent of insults, how could I politely make her see my way?
2007-02-01 16:04:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
1) well, yes, but how can I express my opinions and have them considered without escalating the situation?
2)Yes, a friendship, so what do I do now?
3)And it's impossible to repeat her behaviour as she merely stops listening.
4) The only problem with letting her express her views is that she seems not to have enough extra capacity to listen to me afterwards. Plus, I can't listen to someone who listen back, because it's obviously useless to understand but not to be understood.
Plus, her point of view seems to revolve around the idea of "If I don't hear my mistakes, they don't exist."
But, of course, I wouldn't point that out to her.
Anyway, I would still like to know how to properly and politely discuss the situation with her.
2007-02-01 16:29:53 · update #1
next time instead of pointing out the flaws...act very interested..than ask lots of questions...than go to the "what if" part and "what your plans are incase of" ........and instead of pointing out the flaws....direct her mind toward where the faults lays in her plan....do it subtly though..
personally, If these plans will not hurt you or her financially or any other way..or hurt another....I wouldn't say anything unless she asks for your opinion......but if she ask for your opinion than throws a fit..don't say anything just walk off...when she falls on her face a few times she will learn.....
I grew up in a home full of constant arguing......and it didn't take me long to realize that this form of communication ,or whatever you want to call it, never did anything but cause strife,stress and a constant upset.....life shouldn't be like that...arguing sucks....
2007-02-01 16:38:12 · answer #1 · answered by LeftField360 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to argue with someone that will not listen to your side, So what you have to do is tell them I accept that is the way you feel ,see or do something, and leave it at that, the flaw or fault in her idea will come back to bite her and some time it is necessary to experience failure to understand it, some one telling us is great, if we are capable of listening, so allow her to fall flat on her face, and do NOT say I told you so, ask if now may you put your idea forth.
2007-02-01 17:02:55 · answer #2 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends what I'm arguing about and who I am arguing with. If it's not really serious I go polite. But if it's something I'm really passionate about I would go for the jugular.
2016-05-24 04:16:15 · answer #3 · answered by Diane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why would you want to talk to someone like this? Secondly, a polite way that I can see you doing this is simply tell her the results of what she is trying before she finishes. When your expectations come true, she will likely come to you for more advice. Don't chase the fish with a worm, drop it in the pond, wait, and hook it at the right time. Patience Grasshopper!
2007-02-01 16:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by Robby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 'argue' is not the right word. You want to have a discussion with this person. Try starting off every point with something positive. Tell them that you understand/can appreicate what they are saying. Instead of putting down their ideas, why not ask the person to explain their point of view?
2007-02-01 16:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by God Fears Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question: Is the "large fault" in her plan going to cause loss of life or bodily injury? Or loss of large amounts of money? Or a violation of the law? Or damage to other people's property? Or destroy a friendship? If the answer to all of these is "No", then let this person make her own mistakes.
2007-02-01 16:12:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
none can tell you how to deal with that on the internet, take a conflict management course it will teach you some deescalution skills that should help.by the way you should nottolerate such behaviour you dont have to be rude to stand up for yourself
2007-02-01 16:57:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open up with a line like, "Before you do that, can I ask you a question? Don't you think...." and begin your argument. Don't raise your voice. Don't interrupt. Listen. Anticipate her questions and have answers and explanations ready. Use the word "Please" a lot. If she still flies off the handle, kick her butt and do it your way!
2007-02-01 16:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by nightracker303 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i want the person who wrote this to stop and think...
there is no way you can argue with another person politely.Arguing is just that a loud outbust between to people who seems to think that each is correct and the other is wrong when thinking about it It's an opinion and they are as said like assholes we all have one
2007-02-01 16:11:59 · answer #9 · answered by Papabear 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont bother mentioning anything... she sounds ignorant. Let her make her mistakes and you live your life. I usually say if they want your opinion they will ask, and if she did ask then did that I would have 2 words 4 her........ good bye
2007-02-01 16:17:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋