1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
3.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
4.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
5.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
6.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
7.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
8.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
9.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
10.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
11.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
12.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
13.. Procrastinate Now!
14.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
15.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
16.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
17..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
18..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
19..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
20..Ham and eggs ~ A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
21.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
22.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
23.. I smile because I don't really know what the heck is going on.
2007-02-01 15:53:08 · 9 answers · asked by RAW DIVA™ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
all those comedians out of work and you are cracking jokes. just kidding lol they are pretty funny!! yes
2007-02-01 16:07:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL I like 1, 2 and 23 the best.
2007-02-01 23:56:32 · answer #2 · answered by nowyouknow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
12 our of 23 are funny
2007-02-01 23:57:03 · answer #3 · answered by Tigger lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like 14 & 16 and totally agreed.....and I practice #23 at meetings! ;o)
2007-02-02 00:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish we had background music. I actually play background music in my head throughout my day, makes it go better lol.
2007-02-02 01:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by *~*~*~* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute and tasteful!
2007-02-01 23:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good one
2007-02-02 07:04:44 · answer #7 · answered by laney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good one.....thumbs up
2007-02-02 05:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by SHIH TZU SAYS 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thanks for the funny
2007-02-02 00:05:13 · answer #9 · answered by DON'T GIT LOC'D UP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋