About a month ago i broke up with my current ex. and he decided to inject bleach into his main blood vein, and try to OD on pills. His dad calls later that night, (after they go to the hospital) and blames it all on me, makes me feel so bad about it. I almost went back with him, but decided against it. was i wrong? He wants to get back with me, but i don't like him like that. It is just driving me more and more away from him. While in the mean time his dad still thinks i did it to his son. Am i really that bad of a person to make someone try and kill themselves?
2007-02-01 15:14:31 · 13 answers · asked by photo_girl_90 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girl, you are not at fault here. The ex you are speaking of is a controlling, manipulating person, and it sounds as if he learned it from his father. People like this cannot accept responsibility for their own actions and have to blame it on others. I would never, under any circumstances, go back to someone who uses threats of suicide in order to keep me with them. That's just pathetic. It is also manipulative and cruel. The man is mentally ill and needs therapy. Nobody should be in a relationship with another person if they are not mentally healthy. You were wise to break up with him. You were protecting yourself from whatever garbage this guy was dishing out to you. Do not allow yourself to be "guilted" into going back with him. You deserve better. Don't listen to his father. He is just blaming you because he did not equip his son during his upbringing, to accept responsibility for his actions and to cope with disappointment well. Your ex needs help and should not be with ANYONE until he receives it. Good luck to you.
2007-02-01 15:21:15 · answer #1 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU didn't make him do anything. This person is obviously not very rooted in self- strength or he would not be attempting to something so stupid. I am glad you are not letting his dad make you change your mind just because he's blaming you. In your lifetime you will find that people will often lay a heavy load of guilt on you over one thing or another. If you are to blame, shoulder the guilt until you can resolve it; if you are not to blame, don't carry the load for one second. It's lucky that you found out the mental/emotional weaknesses this guy has before you took your relationship to another level. You're not a bad person at all. Move on and find someone with the courage to handle the bad along with the good. This one didn't make the grade.
2007-02-01 15:23:42 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the guy is unstable, you did what you thought was best for you, you had no idea how he would react. If his dad can't see that his son is messed up, then that's just sad. I know this can't be easy, and I know you might feel guilty, but this is NOT your fault. You made the right decision, stay strong. Try to be his friend if you think that's possible, and suggest counseling.
Good luck!!!
2007-02-01 15:28:39 · answer #3 · answered by Wishful Writer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should never ever think that that was your fault! Everyone is responsible for their own actions. Some people are just a bit crazy, and it sounds to me like you did the right thing by getting out of that relationship. He could have hurt you. But, no, you are not at fault at all!
2007-02-01 15:23:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never blame suicide attempts on yourself! It takes more then one thing to make a person like that, trust me. His dad just don't want to think of his parenting bad, so he needs someone to blame it on. Don't get angry at him though, hes just nervous for his son.
Try and lose contact with your ex, so he can get over you more easily. If thats not possible, remain friends but also help him out. (visit http://www.sexetc.org/faq/emotional_health/843)
That is much better then waiting until years later when he wants to marry you and you say no.
2007-02-01 15:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by UrNightmare 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A break up isnt easy If you think hes going to react like that if you break up insure that there is a possibility you can go back toghether never rule that out for him and insure him you will be friends. Make sure u stay away from the word promise 2
2007-02-01 15:25:08 · answer #6 · answered by Tyme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not blame yourself one single second and don't think of ever blaming yourself again. I went through a similar situation. The truth of the matter is these people have more problems/personal problems/family dysfunctions than we could ever imagine. We are all responsible for ourselves and our own mental health. {Don't allow his dad to blame you either, think of what kind of parent he must have been, what coping skills he failed to pass down to his son} This is not your fault!!
2007-02-01 15:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by Sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person whose actions you're ultimately responsible for is yourself. The boy's father seems to be as unstable as his son. When you choose a person to date or to marry, you have the right to find someone who is mature and emotionally secure. I once had a blind date experience similar to your situation, and the only thing you can do is move on, believe me.
2007-02-02 15:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by In Honor of Moja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
study THIS answer intently, it ought to save YOUR existence. Why die, painfully, once you've got the girl of your objectives, and make your self a greater advantageous guy or woman. teach her you're able to do it, teach all of them you're able to do it, and maximum critically, teach your self you're able to do it. Killing your self is in basic terms an undemanding way out - why take the simplest direction and harm everybody who cares for you, once you may forget approximately all of it and stay a satisfying existence?! I almost jumped off a cliff in front of two of my pals. considered one of them had to particularly pull me faraway from the part. i'm alive now, and that i'm a revealed poet, on the "greater able and gifted" record at school and the bully, who develop into the reason I almost committed suicide, has been expelled completely. All you're able to desire to do, is upward push up each morning, think of of all the topics on your existence, and locate something good in each and each of them. case in point: The undesirable element: I might desire to flow to college day after today. the forged element interior the undesirable element: i'm getting to work out my pals and study something new! For you: The undesirable element: the girl who went out with you for a humorous tale. the forged element interior the undesirable element: you do by no ability might desire to work out her returned, that is over, you may get with the girl of your objectives, and you will in no way fall for that returned! in case you ever get a huge gamble to dedicate suicide, end, and picture of all the folk you would be hurting in case you do: the girl of your objectives, your adoptive relatives, your human beings, anybody who sees you do it or famous your physique. playstation : perhaps you're no longer undesirable via your organic and organic mom and dad - perhaps they have been compelled to offer you up. additionally, you're able to no longer sense to blame on your buddy's death - i do no longer mean this offensively, although that is his fault, no longer yours.
2016-11-02 02:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! thats the type of relationship that you should stay away from. he's trying to control you by using sympathy. just ignore it, and if he's somewhat smart he'll stop using stupid antics to get you back.
dont believe him when he says that he's gonna kill himself. he wont.
good luck!
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-Emily
2007-02-01 15:24:18 · answer #10 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋