What do you do when you are doing everything for your teen to help her along in life and she has no appreciation and gets mad when doesnt get her way. She acts as if she wants to destroy her life by insisting on doing certain things that are not good for her. Dose anyone esle feel like having a teen sucks!! Please answer both questions.
2007-02-01 13:44:51 · 22 answers · asked by spirit2 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I have two teenagers and it seems like they take turns in trying to give me gray hairs ! My toughest kid is my 15 year old son. He sounds very similiar to your daughter. I cope by ignoring a lot of the negative behavior and praising the positive behavior. He also is very selfish, but like someone else stated, their brains really are not developed fully. That's no excuse for the crap that you have to deal with. Just remember, it will get better. I just know that I can't wait for them to have children, if they choose to because what goes around comes around. They will get their payback and I'll be there to watch it hopefully ! lol
2007-02-01 14:18:09 · answer #1 · answered by vik 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have no children yet, but it wasn't so long ago that I was a rebellious teen myself.
Look, teens want to experience things for themselves. They know some things will hurt them, and they're willing to live with that, to have the experience of being there. I'm not justifying it, I'm just saying that's the way it is.
If you want to help her, just be there to give advice and encouragement. Don't try to be her "friend" who she can tell all her secrets to. She doesn't need that. She needs you to be an adult.
As far as her not appreciating you, trust me, that's an act. Let her come home a few nights, and there's no supper to eat and no food in the kitchen, and she'll start remembering why she needs you in her life.
Don't spy on her. And don't sneak around to find out what she's doing. Just be the strong mother you've always been, treat her the way you always have, and when you find out she broke the rules, punish her as always.
.
2007-02-01 13:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by cirque de lune 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are not alone. I raised four teenage sons. Sometimes I was the big meany... simply because being a parent required that I draw the line when they were unwilling or incapable of doing so themselves. They often verbalize their anger at the moment, but one day they will come back and thank you for it. Hold your ground...but do it with love and firmness. You are doing them a favor even if they do not know it right now. Being a parent is not an easy job. Appreciation comes later when she matures and recognizes the love in your taking the hard road. Keep up the good parenting!
2007-02-01 13:52:05 · answer #3 · answered by rejoiceinthelord 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My youngest daughter was a prodigal daughter. She came back around, but it took time. Keep on being a mom (not a friend). Don't get upset when she spouts nonsense or is mean to you or disobeys you - be firm and be consistent. Pray A LOT.
In answer to your other question, yes I felt that way when I was going through the horrible times my daughter put us through when she was a teen. However, there is hope, they do eventually grow up. My husband bought me a sign once and I looked at it whenever I was down:
Teenagers - the reason animals eat their young!
You are not alone!
2007-02-01 13:57:21 · answer #4 · answered by padwinlearner 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
(PS: I'll ignore the "Having a teen sucks", big slam...lol)
I am Christian teen. And the media has alot do to with it. Its telling us that WE are the generation, that we deserve everything we have, and that parents are the joy killing old folks who have no idea bout our lives. Pray for her, that God will show her that you love her, and want whats best for her. Maybe sit her down and tell her it hurts you she seems so unapreciative about the things you do for her. But mostly pray to God and believe that He will help you (because by the way: God answers prayer, always)
2007-02-01 13:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by Jeanna S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just have to let them go, and pick up the pieces when they crash.
I have two adult children, and was a youth pastor for 10 years, and yes sometimes having teenagers sucks. Just look to the Lord for strength and you will get through the teen years.
God bless
Pastor Bill
2007-02-01 13:54:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well your probably pushing too hard. It's an act of will to do the right thing, and be the right person. The best thing to do is to pray, and remind her how much you love her. But knowing from experience, when you feel like that words don't matter, so do things for her to show that you love her. not like buy her a new car, but appreciating her. don't foce anything on her, but let her know that she's welcome and that she can come to you (mostly because you won't sit there and lecture her).
2007-02-01 13:50:51 · answer #7 · answered by RayyRayy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christ bore a cross, mostly alone, and all of us must do likewise.
The difference is, you don't die at the end of this journey, you get to see your new life through a younger adult woman's eyes!
So, be careful how you see this test.
The thing is, this is also a test for her. You can either reject her and crucify her, or you can help her bear it along the way.
And no, I'm not devout. But this symbolism totally saved me from myself and from a hormone illness that made me sick in more than one way.
Thank god for that!
2007-02-01 13:49:34 · answer #8 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to answer your question because much more information is needed. However, you said you did everything to help her in life. It maybe that you did too much and she is rebelling against your over involvement. You might consider a Christian Counselor for family counseling.
2007-02-01 13:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, having a teen sucks sometimes when you see them making mistakes that could ruin their lives. Remember that you don't have control, just love her, provide her a stable home, and be there for her. Praise her when she does something good as she still wants your approval.
Been there, done that.
2007-02-01 13:49:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋