How do i make him understand?

Question

I am not with the father of my children, because he chose to break our family apart by cheating. But now that i kicked him out, and he has no responsibilities to worry about, its like i have to call him to remind him that he has 3 children who miss him. He spends most of his time with his 19 year old gf, who lives at home with no bills, no kids, no nothing. My children have been through enough, as the same with me. I cant stand watching there hearts get broken because he is putting them off for her. Everytime that i try to talk to him about it he gets mad, and flys off the handle. My kids are being hurt constantly, because hes neglecting them. I feel that its my part to do something about it, but its like he is just flat out unreasonable, and im getting nowhere with him. My kids love there dad more than ever, and he was a great father b4 he cheated and found his new piece. I am running out of tears and ideas.

Answer 1

don't call him anymore. some day when the thrill of his new g/ f is over, he'll be missing his children. only it just might be too late by then. I would not shed any more tears about something that is out of your control just be there for your children they need you

Answer 2

Hey there! you can't change a guy like that dear, he has alot of growing up to do and the only thing that you can do is except the fact. I did the father of my children I had to let him go because he couldn't except his children or the responsibilities. I have a 12 year old with autism and a 13 year who a few years ago gained an acquired brain injury and I have been through some struggles oh big time but I have always been there for my children and I know you will be to but you need to just try and let him be yeah it's going to be hard but you have it in you. All you can really do at this point is be there for your children and help them through this and then they will soon try and understand and things will be fine. One day dads going to wake up and miss his children when he sees that your better off on your own anyways and when you and your children are happier than ever before which won't be long he is going to try and be there as much as he can, but don't think this is going to happen in a short time it could be years but hey just think about you and the kids okay! And there are supports out there for you, what about family and friends. Let him go on with his self he's not worth the headache or the misery. Take care and best wishes to you and your wonderful children.

Answer 3

I am currently an adolescent who lives with my mom, and rarely ever saw my father, until recently, when I have been seeing him quite a bit, so I think I might be able to relate.

In whatever way possible, you have to set up some sort of appointment with just your husband and your children. If your father even so much as sees his kids again, it may spark a memory of an enjoyable time that your children and husband shared. Try to set up a dinner date, that is what my father and myself and my 2 other simblings have been doing lately, and it has worked very well.

Good luck, if all else fails, just pray.

Answer 4

As a seasoned mother of 3 ages 10,9, & 3 trust I have been there done that. Your first mistake is letting him know that it bothers you that he is neglecting your children (reverse psychology) Don't call, no more talking to him, pretend he doesn't exist (I don't know ages of your kids) but keep them in a childs place. Tell them daddy is away but he still loves you, make it seem to them that everything is peaches and cream never bad mouth him or argue in front of them. Tell them how great he is - you will be blessed for it and he will be burned because when those kids grow up they will know the truth and not because you told them but they will see it and they will tell him (my 10 year old does) She tells him that he never does this, and that and that her mommy takes care of her and is there when she goes to sleep and at school functions blah blah blah. You just keep yiour head up and smile for those babies and put him on child support and let him and that skank be miserable together. Good luck!

Answer 5

He has found freedom and it will take a bit of time until he settles down & remembers that he is also a father.
All you can do is wait it out & try to be both mom & dad until he gets to that point.
Let you kids know that he still loves them very much even though he isn't around.
When you talk to him just keep reminding him what he is missing out on with them.
Good luck

Answer 6

The only behavior you control is yours. Forget trying to get him to be a father. You can't push a wet noodle. Concentrate on you and the children. You've got to make them understand that they are not to blame for their father's absence. It's not them--it's him, his weakness, his lack of a sense of responsibility, his childishness, his damaged ego or whatever it was that made him shirk his responsibilities. Don't sugar coat his behavior to them either. But make dad gum certain they know they are not to blame for his problems. Kids will twist their minds so as to make themselves at fault and it's your job to keep that from happening. You are not good enough, petty enough, not enough of anything to get your ex to do what he ought to be doing. Just so you know--just as it isn't the kids' fault, it isn't yours either.