his father died three months ago and he says that breaking up with me would be worse than that. Im scared that if i did break up with him his life would be miserable and i want to look after him and make him happy forever but i dont think i can
2007-02-01 13:24:54 · 5 answers · asked by darkling 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
That is not fair of him to say that. Regardless, you have the right to end the relationship at any time. I dated a guy a long time ago, who controlled me emotionally. People like this are abusive and controlling. They may not hit you or push you around, but they use passive aggressive tactics to keep you in the relationship. Be aware of his behavior and talk to a counselor if you're questioning.
If that's not the case: When you break up with him, let him know that you still care about his well being. Keep in contact with him, check in on him and see how he's doing. This way, you are doing what's in your best interest while maintaining a healthy level of care for another.
(Note: If you are really worried about his ability to care for himself, then he must be about 4 years old. He's a grown man.)
2007-02-01 14:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person that can make us happy is ourselves. You can't find true happiness in others or in the stuff you buy. It is all temporary and can be easily taken away. Your boyfriend is still grieving the loss of his father. He might want to get some grief counseling.
Continue to support and encourage him to talk about his feelings. Let him now you are there for him and that you don't intend on leaving him Some times guys just need a little ego stroking.
2007-02-01 21:37:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you thinking about breaking up or not? And if he wants you forever, wouldn't he no longer be your boyfriend and be your husband? I think there is such a thing as common law marriage and it is if you are living together over ten years, you are married in the common law sense. You sound like you have some self esteem issues and it is probably because you have a man in your life that is dragging his feet. If you are doing the foot dragging, it is time to pick up the pace and in the immortal words of my mother...poop or get off the pot.
2007-02-01 22:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by Kelli G 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm..too many things left out of your question. why are you breaking up with him??? Were you thinking of leaving him before his father died? Are you leaving him because he is grieving and thus "no fun anymore?"
When I divorced my horrible first husband of 13 years, he wrote me many letters stating that he was going to kill himself if I did not go back to him. My stepfather gave me some advice. He said I am not responsible for my husband's happiness. He is. If the bleeping bleep kills himself, it will be he doing the killing, and not you."
I divorced him, and he did not kill himself :)
If you leave him, and he loves you, he will indeed be miserable, but if he is well balanced emotionally, he will eventually pick himself up, dust himself off, and get on with his life.
Twelve years is a long time. Give this some thought, and give the poor guy some time to grieve before giving him his walking papers. His dad just died.
2007-02-01 21:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by Matilda 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are staying with him for the wrong reason! Every body's dad dies. His life will be wrecked if you stay with him. You will grow to despise him, and you will be lonely and sad and you deserve better than that. He doesn't want to be treated like a baby, unless he is not mature enough to handle a relationship. leave while you still care for him. Sorry, but the truth is sometimes cruel sounding, but, you know in your heart I am right.
2007-02-01 21:39:08 · answer #5 · answered by T C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋