My father left when iwas about three. I saw him on and off for years up till i was about ...in at least 7th grade. but every year i go to guthrie( in oklahoma where his familly lives) to go to our familly reunions, but the past few times he wasnt there.
now im al confused 'cuase i dont know if he wants to be in my life.
My thinking is if he wanted to be in my life then he would try to talk to me, but then agian he could just ned a push from me. I want to have a relationship with him but i ... i guess i just need a push or.. i atleast want to... i dont know what i want . i want know if he wants to be a father..MY father. Please i need advise... at least help.. i dont know what i need.
2007-02-01 13:16:55 · 10 answers · asked by skofadown 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i havent seen him in two years and, im kinda scared if i havent said that.
2007-02-01 13:30:20 · update #1
My advice would be to write a letter to him about how you feel, what you want from him and what you feel about him. Then, hold on to that letter for a month and take a look at it again. If you read it and still agree with everything you have written, send it to him. If not, write it again and try to express what you need to say but hold onto it again for a month. Keep doing this until you feel comfortable with what you want to say to him.
You have a right to communicate with your father but you also have to understand that he may not want the same things for your relationship or he may not be able to give you what you want. The important thing is that you take the time to ask these deep questions of yourself and give him the opportunity to respond to your needs. You will regret not taking the time now to figure out how you want him in your life but you also need to remember that you will have to accept his answer to you...if he doesn't think he can fulfill what you need/want from him. Then you will be able to move on and go to these family reunions and see him or not see him, knowing that you have done everything in your power to help him be in your life. Good luck!
2007-02-01 13:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by Monique D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow .. this is a tuff one being that I have not seen my own father for almost a year. I would suggest you look for him one last time and try to mend things .. explain to him that life is too short and that the both of you should make the best of it. If he still feels the same way .. I'm sorry to tell you but you will just have to let it go.
2007-02-01 21:24:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wanted to eat, he would cook.
If he wanted to drive, he would buy a car.
If he wanted a haircut, he would go to a barber shop.
If he wanted to be your father he would call or write on a regular basis, answer your letters, ask if you wanted to go for a walk in the park / spend the weekend with him, send you birthday greetings, remember you at Christmas, etc. etc. etc.
From what you've written, it seems pretty obvious fatherhood is too much trouble for him.
I'm sorry.
2007-02-05 10:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hurt for you.Im a father and my only child is a girl. There is nothing more important in my life than her and she knows it. She is my everything , my world. Your dad is like so many out there, they dont care and he doesnt know how to be a father and love you. Im so sorry for you. Approach him and tell him you love him, and see if that works, if it doesnt then move on. Wish I could be more helpful. I do care about you though..........
2007-02-01 21:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by ~Aqua.. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just Sit Down Alone With Out Your Mother. And Talk To Him.
2007-02-01 21:21:45 · answer #5 · answered by mks 7-15-02 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't need someone that is going to walk in and out of your life. You can't make him be a part of your life and you should try find happiness without him.
2007-02-01 21:26:49 · answer #6 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to hurt no matter what you do. I'd just ask him. Point blank, pin him down and get an answer. "Do you want to be in my life, or not?"
2007-02-01 21:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by littlechrismary 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I need a father in my life, and if you don't want to be in it, then let me know now." Is all you have to say. Once you say it, you won't worry...no matter the answer. Do you want him in your life?
2007-02-01 21:39:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. That is the only way you are going to know how he feels. But don't be afraid to tell him how you feel.
2007-02-01 22:23:48 · answer #9 · answered by Jodi C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your father loves you, thats one thing im sure about.
TALK to him as possible..
take chances..
2007-02-01 21:33:32 · answer #10 · answered by aNne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋