I have been seeing my girlfriend now for two months, it will be 3 months February 10th. She broke up with her ex of 5 years, 2 months prior to when we first started seeing each other.
Since then things have been amazing with us... the sky is no where even relatively close to the limit. All the bad things in my life disappear when she is with me, doubts, fears, worries..I truly love this girl, and she knows it. Reciprocates it as well.
With that being said... she still hangs out with her ex... infact almost has a double life, and without choice I became involved in this. She spends noticably more time with him than she does with me.. We have discussed it and she reassures me they are friends... only friends.
But we are always kept seperate, and she has a hole part of her life I feel I can never be part of.. I would never be the wiser... if anything were to happen..
Should I continue to trust her as I do.. I have had so many emotions I am almost lost in myself.. inference?
2007-02-01 11:50:31 · 6 answers · asked by iamkirk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WELL, I CAN TRULY TELL YOU ONE THING: TRUST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN ANY RELATIONSHIP. THERE SHOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER BE ANY DOUBT IN YOUR MIND OF YOUR PARTNER'S DEVOTION LEVEL. HONESTLY? THE FACT YOU ARE WRITING THIS ON YAHOO - TELLS ME THAT THERE HAS TO BE A SHADOW OF DOUBT IN YOUR MIND AND YOU ARE QUESTIONING THE RELATIONSHIP AND IT'S STABILITY. I HAVE TO SAY THAT THIS ONLY SHOWS THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND. A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE DEALT WITH AS SOON AS YOU CAN. I AM NOT SAYING THAT SHE IS CHEATING OR ANYTHING - FOR ONLY SHE AND HER MORALS CAN TELL YOU THAT - BUT, THIS CAN ONLY GO FARTHER TO WHERE IT WILL PERMANENTLY SADDEN YOU AND INEVITABLY EFFECT THE RELATIONSHIP. HAVE YOU SPOKEN WITH HER IN DETAIL? I MEAN YOU CAN NOT ASK HER TO DROP A FRIEND, BUT YOU CAN ASK TO BE MORE INVOLVED WITH HER AND THE FRIEND. THERE REALLY DOESNT SEEM TO BE A SIGNIFICANT REASON IN WHICH YOU HAVE TO BE SEPERATED, RIGHT? UNLESS THE EX/ OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND WANT IT THAT WAY. I FEEL THAT BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN LOVE WITH THE WHOLE PERSON - INCLUDING ANYTHING/ANYONE THEY ARE INVOLVED WITH (FRIENDS OR LOVERS) AND THIS INCLUDES HER ALL OF HER FRIENDS. SO, IF YOU WANT THE WHOLE PACKAGE, EX-BOYFRIEND AND ALL, THAN JUST ESTABLISH SOME GUIDELINES THAT YOU AND SHE FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH. SHE SHOUDL MAKE SOME AMMENDS TO SEE YOU ARE HAPPY TOO - IF NOT, THERE IS YOUR ANSWER. IF SHE DOES, THAN IT WILL BE A GRWOING EXPERIENCE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU AS A COUPLE AND YOU WILL MOVE ON FROM THIS LITTLE BUMP IN THE ROAD.
JUST DONT SETTLE - DONT SETTLE TO BE SECOND IN ANYONE'S LIFE - MAKE A STANDARD AND ALLOW THE RIGHT PARTNER TO MATCH THAT STANDARD. MY HUSBAND - DOES NOTHING SHORT OF MAKING ME FEEL AS IF I AM THE ONE AND ONLY PERSON HE LOVES - NO BOUNDRIES AND COMPLETE AND UTTER TRUST. IT IS A GREAT THING - I WISH YOU WELL.
2007-02-01 12:09:08 · answer #1 · answered by litlbigdg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can undrstand what you're saying here, and maybe it's time to confront her - politely and kindly - about it.
If the rest is as good as you say it is, tell her your concerns, but don't accept the standard answer. Ask her to look at it from your poinr of view.
If she can't, or refuses to, then maybe your fears are correct.
Trust is exceedingly important to a relationship; and if it's not there- especially in a seemingly founded manner like this - then it can eat at the relationship.
2007-02-01 19:54:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Secrecy is not part of trust. Lovers generally get to meet and interact with the other's friends. She is playing you. And him. Let her know how you feel, and give her a reasonable time to make a decision to commit or move on. You deserve a constant companion. Best of luck.
2007-02-01 19:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all she didnt have enough time to get over her ex 5 years is a long time with someone....i wouldnt trust her it seems like she is keeping alot from you you also cant be truly in love with someone only knowing them for a short time its lust you sre going through
2007-02-01 19:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to trust, if she hasn't done anything to show you that she shouldn't be trusted then continuing trusting her. you need to tell her that you love and trust her, but you do not like the amount of time that she spends with her ex. it's wrong that a person spends more time with some1 else then the person they're with.
2007-02-01 19:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask if he wants to join in. if he does, make sure you get the first reach around. if not. pull out your 44 magnum and let hell break loose
2007-02-01 19:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by Admiral Weasel 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋