ive been with my boyf for over 2 years now and he has never given me any reason to think he would cheat. he tells me so many times how much he loves me etc but all i think is "your lying, you can't". If i see him talk to an attractive girl my mind starts thinking "he fancies her" and when he comes back and kisses me i think "hes wishing i was her". I know im tottally crazy! i need help!
i even look through his friends myspaces to see photos of nights out to check what hes doing in them. and in one there is a picture of him talking to this girl and i feel sick looking at it. what am i going to do? ive told him that im totally crazy jealous and how guilty i feel about it and he says its ok but its eating me up and consuming most of my mind and time. if hes not with me I have to go out with my friends to stop myself thinking about what hes up to. any tips or suggestions that would help? i know im crazy.
2007-02-01 11:33:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
to everyone who says to go easy on him i dont stop him doing anything and he only found out i felt this way this week and i told him that i know its all on me and nothing to do with his behaviour. i saw my dad cheat on my mom a couple of times when i was younger and my mam never found out. my friends have also had "nice" guys cheat on them only to find out about it 3 months down the line. it makes me cautious. im looking for tips on how to distract myself or overcome the constant worrying etc. id like to avoid counselling if possible and have no intention of taking antidepressants.
2007-02-01 12:09:58 · update #1
Oh my gosh Sweetie.
You got it bad.
I was almost that bad.
I finally had to constantly tell myself to 'trust' him.
It due to low self-esteem.
I had it and until I realized that I was a beautiful woman and finally realized that I could get anyone I wanted.....I realized I wanted him and he wanted me. I still sometimes get a little jealous but I talk myself out of it. He is a very trustworthy guy and I had no reason to NOT trust him. It was all in my head as it is in yours.
My jealousy caused us more of a problem than anything that he ever did....and honestly...he never did anything wrong.
It was all me and my silly brain. I know my jealousy started from my ex-husband cheating on me three months after we were married and I had jealousy problems with each relationship after that. I made myself realize that all men aren't asses.
I found that prayer helped also.
Good luck my Sweetie. Been there and I know the jealousy hurts you and your relationship more than you know.
You don't need any depression drugs as someone below suggested.
You just need to convince yourself that YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
Go look in the mirror right now and see how beautiful you are on the outside......now look deeper...on the inside....
See.....that's why he loves you!!!
2007-02-01 11:36:44 · answer #1 · answered by COOKIE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be boldly honest with you. You either need to take his word for it and get over it, or not date him exclusively. Most guys think that a girlfriend who shows some jealousy, is cute at first. However, when you keep sweat'n him over talking to some other woman he's just having a simple conversation with, now you're giving off the impression that you're possessive and lack the confidence of a real woman who has a man. Which is not sexy to a man you've been with for 2yrs. If you worry that much about what he's doing, then you obviously have something in the back of your mind, because of something you probably did with someone else before him. You have to remember, the things you do will eventually catch up with you. If you want him to cheat on you so bad, then just keep on sayin good morning. If you keep asking for it; it'll happen. When it does....be a woman about it and accept it, becaue apparently that's what you want to happen. If you really want to be with him, don't worry about the other women and just have fun with him when he's around you.
2007-02-01 12:26:22 · answer #2 · answered by 00silky 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its definitely not healthy and it is totally in your head. you had better lighten up a little on the poor guy so you dont drive him away. i dont think there is anything he can do to prove his faithfulness to you, since the problem is inside you. i am not trying to be harsh, just realistic, i have been on the opposite side of this equation and whenever i have been in relationships where i started to feel slightly that possessive or crazy i was able to recognize it and see how unattractive it was because guys had done it to me and it really gets old. No one likes to walk on eggshells for someone else and they will only do it for as long as they have to. i would ask yourself why you think he would cheat and where this is coming from. maybe someone did it to you before and you are taking it out on him, maybe your dad did it to your mom? maybe you feel insecure about weight (exercise is a surefire way to feel better about yourself) get enough confidence in yourself to make him be the one worrying if you are cheating!
2007-02-01 11:42:27 · answer #3 · answered by theburlaces 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there should be more space between you guys imagine the day you break up its going to be really hard. Go out with your friends have fun and he can do the same it doesn't mean you don't love eachother but sometimes you have to do other things because your whole life is not just your boyfriend you have other responsibilities, acquantainces, and things you have to deal with. You might be freaking him out by stalking his myspace and everything I think you should trust him more I mean if you have been together for two years don't you think he loves you?
2007-02-01 11:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have trust issues you need to resolve if you want this or any relationship to work....
Might also want to look at your self esteem...
2007-02-01 11:36:59 · answer #5 · answered by Fixitguy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not crazy, First take a deep breath. the worst thing to think about is him cheating you are going to make yourself sick. I have been throught this, He says he loves you believe what he says and donot expect him cheating unless he is giving you a reason to think that. good luck
2007-02-01 11:41:12 · answer #6 · answered by xoxo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your have serious " Insecurity " issues....perhaps even your own self image. This condition will apply to any relationship now and for the rest of your life unless you find some way to deal with what is within yourself.
2007-02-01 11:40:05 · answer #7 · answered by ramarro smith shadow 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you got a good man. I suggest talking to a counselor to help you out with this
2007-02-01 11:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by snowman_80 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your right you need some prozac or valium. go see the head dr soon before you start hearing vioces.
2007-02-01 11:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by Grown Lady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you should chill, split up and find someone else...
2007-02-01 11:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋