Am I unreasonable if I ask my g/f to part take in a threesome?

Question

I met my g/f about a year ago, and she is the most beautiful woman I have ever met inside and out...but...she is somewhat inhibited. My life to date (sexually) is similar to an adult novel, and I have been a swinger for 17 years...until her and I started dating. I want to introduce her into male-female-male threesomes, not due to homosexual tendancies, but because seeing my g/f with another guy has always been stimulating for me, and I truly don't want another woman. She never seems to respond when I bring the idea up, and it gets swept under the rug. I also have heard her say "it is just sex", but when I bring swinging up, then it turns into something "gross". Just hoping more "reserved" people who have hidden wild sides might be able to help a guy who cares nothing about societal moral standards, and just wants to have adult fun with his conservative girl. What to do, what to do???

Answer 1

There may be several reasons why she doesn't want to, or doesn't feel comfortable doing it.

She may have bought into the whole "when you fall in love you should never want someone else" idea.

She might have bought into the idea of "you don't really love her if you want to share her" idea.

She may simply not have that fantasy.

She may think that you are not serious or can't see why you would be.

Anyhow, you need to talk to her about it and her ideas about it. Do the old "5 whys". Why don't you want to do it? Why does that bother you? Okay, why does that make you uncomfortable", etc. After asking "why" several times you'll get to the real reason she fears it.

As a post note to this. You have to do this openly, non-judgmentally and accept her answer for the time being. After this discussion you've opened-up the subject objectively and someday she may just surprise you. :-)

Take this question over to The Swingers Board http://www.swingersboard.com and see what the people there have to say about it.

Answer 2

If you keep on at your girlfriend to do something she's not comfortable with you risk losing her. You may have to choose which is more important, keeping her or finding someone who is prepared to live the same lifestyle as you. She may feel that if you loved her you would hate the idea of her having sex with another man,after all this is probably the way the majority of men feel about their girlfriends. Personally, I agree with her, threesomes are GROSS.

Answer 3

Difficult question. I guess the best way to introduce a threesome to someone is to joke about it first, then to talk about it a little more, just to see the reaction.
In your case, she seems pretty reluctant. I see what you want, but I'm not sure she wants the same thing. You should try to explain in very simple words what you really want. Choose your words carefully. You don't want to gross her out. Try to tell her that it will deepen your relationship and that you really want to do this with her because she's special to you.
I hope it turns out well for you and her.

Answer 4

People have different tastes. You call your g/f inhibited and conservative; what if she simply doesn't like the idea? You've brought it up, but she hasn't responded positively, so I say drop it. No good comes of coercing a person into somthing s/he isn't comfortable with.

Answer 5

well the only thing i can tell you from my experience is to find a guy or a couple that you all feel comfortable around...then hang out and have a couple of drinks....start slow. I got my gf into this kinda stuff by hanging out with another couple..we played a game of darts..after acouple of games and a couple of cocktails..I suggested we raise the stakes and play strip darts..that night there was no touching between couples...but the next time we got together we all screwed in the same room but still no touching between couples..the last time my gf blew my friend but he wouldn't allow his wife to do the same for me...now this superbowl sunday we are all getting together again at friends house and they went out and got some "couples" games to play..lol Of the four of us, I was the only one who wanted to do anything like this.. now I got them all into it and they love it. Like I said..start slow..take your time..ease her into it..and dont pressure her..Also my gf was real worried about how I'd think of her after she did what she did..but now she nows I love her..and that I'm just a freak who likes to see my woman with a cock in her mouth among other places..lol

Answer 6

for asking her no you are not being unreasonalbe but you need to stop beating around the bush and just tell her flat out what you want maybe she thinks you are just kidding or something anyway tell her whats up and if she says yes there you go if she says no then take that and dont ask again because if you do then you are being unreasonable

Answer 7

Well keep in mind what she has said in the past, is it worth losing her? Cause she may walk after that. Maybe let her find the other partner. But why live in hell?

Answer 8

It is not unreasonable to ask.

However, considering what you have said, I am not sure that she is interested in the swinging lifestyle. In fact, she sounds pretty much against it.

Ask...but there are consequences.

Answer 9

just ask her...tell her this is something important in your love life, and thats just how you are...tell her it bothers you when she calls your idea of a good time gross...


I'm a girl

I see nothing wrong with that...

Answer 10

the two the help we desire isn't justified so we sense it stressful to invite for. while we are no longer able to have some element we desire or desire that's the suited time to invite some one for help. thank you.