it's been almost 4 years since I was raped by my ex. I was 13 and he was 21 and he had gotten in a relationship with me and he wanted to have sex with me and i refused to so he had beat me and took advantage of me. He was convicted and he is in jail for 15 years.I've gotten therapy but I still think about it sometimes and I often get really mad when men try to grab me or touch me. And I've been having a lot of sex with a lot of older men. What's happening?
2007-02-01 10:44:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG first let me say that I'm sorry you had to go through this ordeal. No one should ever be violated especially not by someone you love and trust. The age gap is huge and I am sure you've heard it all before so I won't even go there. Him being convicted doesn't give you your innocence back. Know that you did nothing wrong besides being involved with a jerk. You have every right to be upset with someone who tries to touch you and you haven't asked for these advances. You are having sex with all these different older men because your self esteem is low and you are looking for love and acceptance. Trust me you won't find it until you find God or a higher power. I used to be promiscuous also and now that I have God in my life I am complete. I hope that you learn to love yourself and stop giving undeserving people your body. Good luck Sista
2007-02-01 10:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Fabulous Divaness 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoa! that's a lot to digest .......lemme tell u the simple problem. u're still havin sex with older men and each time u do, ur subconsious holds on or recreates or brings back all the hurt and pain that happend at u bein 13. this u're unaware of , but it manifest in ur day to day activities like when someone touches u or grabs u. so u better stop havin sex and get some real therapy b4 ur mind gets out of control. i hope u dont start hatin men.
2007-02-01 10:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by Funk-Ski Biznez Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to continue with therapy and stop having sex. Continuing to have sex will muddle your recovery process. Try and just be friends or dating someone your own age or just slightly older - like a year or two. Therapy can take years. It is well worth it. If you dont take care of your residual issues now then it will be compacted when you get older. That is a hard road to go down, but have faith in yourself that you can recover.
2007-02-01 10:51:12 · answer #3 · answered by gomorrah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becasue rape is hard anyway especially when its someone you trust. Rape is not something easy to get over. Some say that they never get over. If you have any kind of religion then pray. If you dont stay around people that love and care for you. It wil get better day by day but that is a very emotional hurt that may never go away. It might not always be as strong though.
2007-02-01 10:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though you subconsciously liked the experience of having sex with an older man even though he raped you. Maybe you look at young guys as inexperienced and you want only those who are experienced but only on your terms. In other words you enjoy the sex with older man but you want to be in control. It is understandable even though you had therapy. However, it sounds as though you did not stay in therapy long enough and you are suffering the consequences.
2007-02-01 10:51:32 · answer #5 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very, very sorry that happened to you, Princess. Although I'm not qualified to diagnose psychological disorders, I do know that it's very possible you've developed a mild (or perhaps not so mild) case of PTSD resulting from the rape event. Promiscuity is also a very common response to being raped.
Please don't stop reaching out for help. I would encourage you to see a psychiatrist for diagnosis and possible treatment. Meanwhile, you will be in my prayers.
2007-02-01 14:54:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you need to seek the help of a professional. I am only saying that because I don't think people on here will give you the answers that you are looking for or ones that will benefit you. Hang in there!
2007-02-01 10:49:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't truly been able to get over your ordeal. You are attracting the same type of guys that hurt you, older men, and giving them what they want. I think you should talk to your therapist about this more.
2007-02-01 10:50:19 · answer #8 · answered by Just_wondering234 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need professional counselling. you get angry because you're scared and it sounds like you think this was your fault. it wasn't. the sex thing may have something to do with your self image and the damage the ex did to your self esteem.
2007-02-01 10:50:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't ever stop hurting-Sorry all you can do is try to get help for your mind-My doctor tells me that is why it hurts. Even though it has been years. My body healed. It is all in my head.
2007-02-01 10:52:48 · answer #10 · answered by Lalangel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋