Young lady 11 years old is having difficulties making friends at school. How should I deal with this?

Question

This year is my daughter's first year at high school. She is very unhappy as she is not making friends easily; and it doesn't seem that she is very popular. She is extremely sensitive and has a very pleasant nature. My wife thinks that we should not take any action and the experience will make her go stronger.

I understand her view point but don't necessary agree. We are half way through the year and the situation does not seem to have improved.

My daughter has stated that she would like to go to another school, although she has recently come up with a compromise to move to another class. I sense this may at least be worth a try. Does anyone have any thoughts on this matter or any strategies that my daughter may be able to try to improve her situation.

Answer 1

where are your duaghter's friends from elementary school? if she still has them she should be ok, if not, let her go to school with htem. she'll be much happier. i'm now acollege freshman, and i am still friends with people i went to elementary shcool with. havning their friendship in highschool, especially junior high wehn people are incredibly mean since they are adjusting to new people and new situation, made it a lot easier. i only made a few new friedsn in hihgschool, and my class had nearly 200 people in it. with my elementary school pals, life was a lot easier. also, encourage her to try out for sports temas and clubs. she'll meet lots of people and make new friends. i'm sorry that your daughter is sosad, but remind her that being popoular isn't everything. it's better to have a group of close friends that you know love you, than a huge group of people you call friends whom you don't really know that well.

Answer 2

Are there any after school clubs at her school? Perhaps if she joined one she was interested in it would be an opportunity to meet kids with the same interests as her. It's easier to make friends in that kind of atmosphere than in a classroom or hallway. I do understand your concern, it's so hard to watch your child be miserble. You just want to make it all better for her. But your wife does have a point as well, it will help her be stronger, and perhaps more sensitive to other kids who are feeling like she is. I hated school and had difficulty making friends. Now when I look back at it, it really has shaped me into who I am today, in a good way. I know that doesn't make the present any easier though. It's tough being a kid. Good luck. :)

Answer 3

11 years old??? umm.....Middle school right not high school. Well I think you should have a long talk with her find out what the problem is and what you can do to help. Come up with some kind of solution. And if the school is the problem then change schools, however let her know this won't always work in life...you cant always run from your problems. But maybe I fresh start would be better for the new year....Give it a try I think it will work out...

Answer 4

Youve made two telling statements in your posting - your daughter is overly sensitive, and she is 11 years old and a freshman in highschool - all other freshmen are around 13-14 years old...

So, perhaps the issue is that the others simply do not want to associate with someone who they consider to be "beneath them" - hey, kids can be cruel. And, your young daughter is overly sensitive, so that compounds the issue...

In this case, Id have to say that your wife is correct - your daughter needs to figure this out on her own. Daddy wont be there forever...

Answer 5

If she's asking to go to another school this early then perhaps she might have reason too, she may be being bullied :( That can really ruin a kid's sence of self worth and lead to teen suicide if not dealt with in a timely manner. Kids these days are cruel, i don't really have any coping strategies for her I'm sorry. It was very different when I was in school.

Answer 6

Get her involved in some activities, not necessarily sports. School is not the only venue through which she might find friends. Many churches have decent youth groups if you happen to go. there's Girls Scouts, 4-H, Boys and Girls Club, and a host of other community groups. If she doesn't like to do anything, try anything, or go anywhere, then friends are definitely going to be hard to come by.

Answer 7

it may be someone is picking on her or bulling her at this age this is very important to her self esteem and how she develops you do have to find out what the real problem is doing nothing may make her feel like you done care about her and add to the problem what if its a guy bothering her in an inappropriate way are you just going to stand by and let it happen ? do something to help her fit in its all about talking to her and finding out the real problem and what it will take to fix it she knows what it will take to fix it if she cant talk to you or your wife find someone she will talk to older sibling aunt someone i was were she is and know how it felt kids will pick on you for any reason your clothes hair being shy they pick on the ones that seem weaker make her stronger within her self and she will do fine it all starts with talking to her but doing nothing means nothing gets resolved

Answer 8

I suggest she tough it out in her current class - friends will come, once they notice your daughter is a good kid..tell her to be patient and that school is for learning first, friends second.

Answer 9

Please dont take this the wrong way, but your wife is full of ****!
I was harassed for 6 years in school until i moved and after i moved i made friends and everything. It dosnt make them stronger it MIGHT give her mental issues later on in life.

Answer 10

Ummm, where r u that she is 11 and in high school? Ummmm does she not fit in cause of her age perhaps.