I was with this girl for over 3 years not knowing i was ever gonna get that far in the first place cause it started what seemed to be a one night stand. ive slept with over 40 women beforehand. Now 3 years later..its over. i was faithful..very loving..caring..protective. I have never felt true love til her. i never did anything as special for a women as i did for her. jewerly.dinner.vacations. Now that its over and it seems there is no chance of us again. How do i get over this? Its been over a month since we seperated. i dont eat as much anymore..ive lost over 40lbs. i have no will to work. no will to get up in the morning. cant sleep. huge anxioity issue. always depressed.. Yet, she did me wrong and i should feel hatred. she leaves me for my best friend and i still want her back WHAT THE HELL?
2007-02-01 10:31:17 · 14 answers · asked by veryconfused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's because you've invested so much in her and your relationship with her that you don't want to let it go, especially since your return on it was so far less than your investment.
It's the same thing with what is called "mother love". The woman has her body taken over for 9 or so months, she invests so much of herself and her life in the child before it is born. This creates an attachment to the child. They are reluctant to give something up that they've invest so much into and have received a return on yet.
Women can drop dead that don't like this answer, because it doesn't make it any less true. If they were honest about things, then they'd admit it.
2007-02-01 10:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first real problem is that there is no closure here. Especially if she is leaving you for your best friend. The anxiety comes from not having closure and the depression, I believe, is steming from the unresolved anger. This anger may never be resolved. You lost a best friend and a lover and that can be VERY difficult to get over. This will take time, more than a month, to definately get over. Use your resources wisely (friends, family, outdoors) to help you get over this.
This is going to be one of the toughest things you'll need to get over in your entire life. First, realize what's ahead of you. There will be others and others who are better fit for your needs. You need to stay strong and realize there is more to life than some girl and your friend. Easier said than done. Good luck and I am sorry to hear that something like that has happened to you.
2007-02-01 18:48:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to accept the fact that it's over. It takes some longer than others to get over some one we once loved. Time heals all wounds. Keep your head up and keep on moving. Don't let this take control of who you are. If you know that you were a descent, respectful, honest and caring man to her. Then it's her lost. I know it hurts more knowing she is with someone so close to you. This to shall pass. It's also normal to want her back. Just be careful. Ask yourself if you will be able to trust her again? Will she leave me for someone else? Is this a subject that is going to pop up every time there is a argument? When she doesn't answer the phone or is late will you feel that she is with him? Are you willing to put yourself through that? You don't need to go through all of that again. We tell ourselves all the time that we are not going to ever bring it up and that we can let it go. But, once you are back with that person things change. Keep moving forward. Going back sometimes make things worse than they were. It will be o.k. Get back in to doing the things that you enjoy doing. Life is too short to put your life on hold for someone else. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!
2007-02-01 19:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by Seanette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you feel this way is because you devoted so much to her, you feel that she was what changed your life. You praise her for your achievements, and you were the one who stayed faithful. She didn't make you, you did that yourself. You are putting her on a pedestal, when you should be praising yourself for being a good partner. This is completely normal. You spent so much time with her, 3 years is a long time. I just separated with my fiance of 2 1/2 yrs, he was HORRIBLE to me. but i still want him, the meaner he is to me, the more i want him.
People naturally get sucked into this predicament. What you need to do, is just simply remember the memories of her, as memories. not of wishes. Think of them as good MEMORIES.
Find projects to do to keep yourself busy. I've been redecorating my house so it doesn't remind me of him. things like that. i got a new cat, new bedsheets, stuff like that. In time, it will go away. It gets easier for me every day. If you need to talk, send me an email...we're going through pretty much the same thing.
2007-02-01 18:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by Erin P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people don't know the value of what they have. Know that she's the loser not you. She'll understand that when she gets dumped by your best friend. For you I can only say that you have to learn to live with it and dedicate yourself to something which is very difficult and challenging for you to handle. ( Could be something like a public service) You should keep your mind busy until you get over it.
2007-02-01 18:38:47 · answer #5 · answered by peaceathome 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea..., what the hell!! Sure seems like she took you for a three year ride!! If she truly cared about YOU and not what you have given to her and done for her, she would still be a devoted girlfriend. I say..., move on..., and dont be so generous next time, unless you are willing to get rode again. No pun intended. Best wishes to you!!
2007-02-01 18:39:00 · answer #6 · answered by scarlett11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, my understanding is that ur problem isnt just that u love her.
u were betrayed by the person u trust probably more than any one and this caused u a shock. the shock will probably leave many worse effects if u dont go to therapy.
three yrs is a long time, u need to heal, and just let it all go. dont feel hatred, and try to forgive and forget.
2007-02-01 18:38:38 · answer #7 · answered by MAB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U know things come back in a full circle maybe u have done this to someone out of the 40 women u had and now fell what u yourself have done to someone else,So knowing this keep it in you and move ooooonnn.
2007-02-01 18:37:56 · answer #8 · answered by keepitreal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well things like this takes time and just because you broke up a month ago you should give yourself sometime and talk to other people, you shouldn't keep thinking about someone that hurt you, you should take a vaction for yourself to think.
Good Luck!
2007-02-01 18:37:13 · answer #9 · answered by natali3x3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'll always have a soft spot for the first love. it doesn't matter what she did to you. it doesn't make getting over her any easier but knowing this might help you find some solace. you'll eventually regain your balance and you'll find another woman that you thought you'd never feel this way about. it's just the way life is.
2007-02-01 18:36:47 · answer #10 · answered by llsnwtsn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋