I am a 25 year old female and I am in a wonderful relationship with my fiancee, I am very sexually active but he's never in the mood to do anything, he never makes love to me or even touches me, but he tells me everyday how much he loves me and how beautiful I am. Tells me how good I smell and how good I look, currently he's not working and neither am I, we spend our days together, same routine over and over. He turns me on so much, that I find through the days I want him to make love to me, I sometimes ask and sometimes just make moves on him, alot of the times when we do have sex is when I make all the moves.. Is there something wrong with me, why doesn't he want to have sex with me. Should I give up on sex all together, he's only 21 years old, maybe he doesn't like sex. Is there anything out there that I can take that will decrease my sexual desires, please help me
2007-02-01 10:23:24 · 25 answers · asked by Daisy S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's just his libido , there is nothing wrong with you he just simply put has a differant level of sex drive than you i dont know you, you may have a over active sex drive which common but i'd read about it and determine if thats you or not , i really cant tell from what ive been told thus far but it doesnt sound like it really , so if thats not the problem it's him so try some role playing or costumes my gf used to be a cheerleader (oh yea the captian too!) haha i love it and we have sex for hours and hours a night ever night but thats not most people (as you can tell im rather pleased with my self) but nyways buy some viagra and slip it to you a doctor would recommend it to you no more than he'd recommend getting drunk but both may help mm drunkin sex is grrrreat but loadss of people take viagra everyday at all sorts of ages infatc theres kind of a viagra epidemic right now if you could believe it or not but yea try some of that and see if it helps
2007-02-01 10:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear lord women why on earth would you want to decrease your sexual desires. Maybe he's just bored..not to be mean but maybe u two are spending too much time together.
Here's what you do...start doing stuff on your own...without him that is. And STOP making all the moves...in fact become as disinterested in sex as he seems to be. See if he responds to that...if maybe b/c you're engaged the "chase" is gone and he just bored. Try spicing it up some too...like outfits or toys or different positions. But whatever u do let him do the chasing...until he comes around masturbate....oooohhhh here's a good one...masturbate infront of him and then don't do anything to pleasure him. Just get up and walk away..go take a shower or something lol Or even better tie him up and masturbate in front of him...then untie him and be like..."yep that was nice I have to go to grocery store now...have fun!" and blow him a kiss...no matter what you do do not look back as you walk out that door...or to the shower...just walk away nonchalant.
Trust me girl, 2-3 weeks of this you'll have him eating outta of your hand. Right now he has control over your sexual desires....what you need to do is get back the contraol and let him "take it" from you again! But always make sure you have the control...only let him have it for a little bit. *wink wink*
2007-02-01 18:34:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my husband and I started dating I had this same problem. I thought maybe it was me, but I later found out that he was stressed out about many things. Sometimes when a guy has a lot of things on his mind that stresses him out (I know this might sound weird)but he is not thinking about sex he is trying to figure out ways to fix his problems, and to some guys the answer maybe sex, but not for all. Your fiancee might have things on his mind like trying to a get a job or thinking about the wedding etc. The only thing that I think you should do is sit down with him and ask if there is anything he needs to talk about. And help him ease his mind so y'all can get busy in the bed.Good Luck
2007-02-01 18:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by heavensent 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a sad situation, it always makes you blame yourself. listen to me girl, its not you. dont take it out on yourself....
guys go through that kind of phase, the reason he's probably not into it is because you are spending all your time together...he doesnt have the chance to sit and think about you, and he cant sit and watch the clock until its time to come home to you.
Maybe spend a little time apart, see if he starts paying more attention to you. If that doesnt work, I'd confront him. Don't get all teary and everything, because that makes guys uncomfortable. Just simply ask him to do this and that to you...Guide him through it, and get him to do the things you want him to do.
If he still wont do it, ask him if there is a problem. Dont accuse him of anything, just ask him sweetly if there is something wrong. Have a discussion about what you two can do differently to make him enjoy it more!
Good luck hun, don't blame yourself, just remember that!!
2007-02-01 18:30:14 · answer #4 · answered by Erin P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there could be so many different ways to look at this situation.
There could possibly be a medical problem he is unaware of causing him not to be as sexually stimulated?
It sounds like he really loves you by the things he tells you daily and so many women complain that they don't hear these things enough (including myself).
I don't really know and there are so many ways to look at it. Mabye you need to really sit down and think about what truly makes you happy? Your definitely not a bad person for wanting more sex, that's for sure.
Also don't forget that you can't change a person. Accept him for who he is or move forward. I don't believe that there is just one person out there for someone!!
2007-02-01 18:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by CutiePie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you want to marry this guy? And why don't you two have jobs?
A 21 year old guy thats not interested in sex 24/7 sounds strange to me. You sure he's not gay or has some sort of physical problem?
2007-02-01 18:29:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something is wrong...with him. That's not normal. He is either gay, insecure, has problem with you that he hasn't told you about, has a problem with himself he hasn't told you about, is depressed, or just doesn't like sex or worse case he is cheating on you. You need to talk to him. Because something is defiantly wrong. And at 25 and 21 you should be going at it all the time! You did nothing wrong. Even if he has a problem its not your fault and you couldn't have fixed it until he tells you their is a problem and even if he does tell you then you still may not be able to fix it. If he doesn't want to communicate I would personally consider leaving him.
2007-02-01 18:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there are two problems. Unless he has a physical problem, he prob. shouldn't NOT want to have sex, generally mens hormones are highest at 18-24. Also, its not you, because if you are so concerned that you are asking this question, you are obviously a great person. Have you talked to him? Speak from 'I'. Instead of "Why won't you have sex with me?" Say "I feel like I am the only one initiating sex. Why?"
2007-02-01 18:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a bad person but it sounds to me like your "wonderful relationship" isn't so wonderful after all. Sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship but it is very important. If you guys aren't compatible in that area I'm sorry to say but I see more problems in store for you.
2007-02-01 18:30:19 · answer #9 · answered by Pamela S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad person. Your just yourself and thats all your expected to be. That's alright if you want to make love with him more then he does with you. He ovbiously really cares about you more then just a physical thing. You should consider yourself lucky! You should give more info, for example how often you do it and stuff. If it really bothers you that much you should discuss it with him
2007-02-01 18:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by Je vous aime. ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋