My boyfriend and I never had a relationship with his crazy meddling family. He was abusive, in all ways, an alcoholic, a liar, manipulator and a crossedresser, bi-sexual and adulterer. He got drunk and rolled his truck and was killed. The family wanted nothing to do with the little girl we had and never even sent cards on her b-day. Now they want access to her and they are totally disrepectful of me and spread rumors and they are mentally unstable to boot. It has been a year since he died and they are still taking cigarettes and donuts to his grave. They even took him xmas gifts and made his son take stuff to the grave too like beef jerky and a decorated Xmas tree. They visit the grave 2-3 times daily still. They applied through the Courts and I agreed to some supervised access, this was before I knew about some of the stuff they are doing. So I have since changed my mind. Anyone have any advice?? On how to keep my little girl free from the emotional damage they may cause to her??
2007-02-01 09:36:36 · 14 answers · asked by Cowgirl Q 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just wanted to see if this type of insight could help others who are suffering?
As my feet slap down against the cold wet pavement, and my face drips rain from the storm, an unrelenting need to drink pushes me further. Exact final destination appears unknown , but it's inevitable that the evil inside will again return me to the source of my nightmare. No control, no will of my own, no power had I found that might evict this hell that had infected my body and mind. Self-identity, and all that was once me, had been buried under countless layers of drunkenness, so deep, that any calls for help were merely an echo inside my head.
This living liquid curse, cunning and without conscience, had been absorbed into a body which at one time eagerly welcomed it's unyielding influence. But now, as the onslaught of alcohol turned viciously against the world around me, it was only I being held responsible for it's drunken destruction carried out during my imprisonment.
Those intense fear ridden mornings, when I awoke to find yet another nightmare of alcohol's creation, devilishly constructed from it's own personality the night before. Whether it was the sight of dried blood crusted over both hands, or the unfamiliar surroundings of a place where I shouldn't have been, alcohol knew how to render me frozen with crippling insecurity. Too frightened to reason out a healthy answer as to what was happening to me, a deliberate terror of conscience always reached out and tightly gripped my soul. This devil, disguised and hidden behind my own recently drunken face, knew exactly where I'd run to for help. This was much more then an accident through drink. Alcohol's intent was to survive at all costs, to live and breath it's own existence using me as it's host of choice.
But, now, unaware of this developing transformation, all I wanted to do was calm the terror inside my head. There would be only one place, one exit, one chance to escape into a feeling of normality. Alcohol left nothing to chance, and as it waited patiently for me to return a bottle to my lips, I could almost hear a deep sullen laughter quicken my mobility. I desperately needed to lock myself away into the only security I knew, and to experience that precious freedom, I once again had to ingest my enslaver.
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2007-02-03 06:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by Steve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let me say that I am sorry for the death of your boyfriend. The knowledge if why they are doing what they are doing is going to help you cope, but it want solve anything.
The reson that they are doing what they are doing is likely because they not only miss him but pehaps have some guilt over how they responded to him while he was alive. Questions like what could we have done to help him? Could we have prevented this? Would he want us to be in the childs life? These are just a few of the questions that may be in their minds.
Now to answer your question. The proper way to do this is to get some kind of proof that they are unfit and will likely have an adverse affect on the child. Things like records of medical history of mental disorders or anything that will prove that they are unfit. Prison records, citations and the like will do well.
Then go back to the court and petition the court to revoke any order of acces due to your discovery. If you have not presented this in court you may want to apply for a protective order agaisnt them citing that you fear the child will be harmed. The courts in my state have a family division and you may do well by going to the family division to seek free advise.
In the mean time, I will be praying for you and this situation and I have evey confidence that God will see you through and that your little girl will not be subjected to the madness as God has a special interest in little children.
Be blessed!!!
2007-02-01 17:50:00 · answer #2 · answered by Willard S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to mention all of these things that they do to the courts. don't just go in there on your own but have a couple of people who have witnessed what they do as well go with you to testify in your behalf. the more people you have as a witness the better. use these things that they do as the reason behind why they should not be around her. also explain to them how you are a good mom and show them evidence if you can that you have been properly supporting your child in a healthy environment. the courts should agree with you on this. i wouldn't want people like this around my child either. i hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-01 19:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you know so much about these people???????? you can patition the courts to undue the access but you had better have some proof of what they are and how they are and anything you think they are, a judge is not going to just take your word that these people are crazy. YOu may have to move far away from them to protect your daughter.
2007-02-01 17:42:37 · answer #4 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it sounds like you may need a little help with your anger as well. There is good and bad in everyone. The more you fight against something in the wrong manner, the more rebuttal you will receive. Good luck to you and the precious little one.~~~~Jill
2007-02-01 19:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider moving....It sounds like they had an estranged relationship with their son....now that he is deceased, they have idealized the relationship to be something in their mind that it wasn't....they now want to live out that unreal relationship vicariously through his daughter. Sounds like they already messed up their sons life....I wouldn't let them get their hands on this little girl too.
2007-02-01 17:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since the family never seemed liked they relly cared about you're child you don't have to let her/him be around their type of enviornment. now occasional pictures and letters would also be okay just to keep in touch. Since you weren't married the family doesn't really have a right to claim your child , unless they noticed some type of violence.
2007-02-01 19:15:45 · answer #7 · answered by ~calientechica~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see that they can have ANY claim on your child unless you allow it. I would go back through the courts and try to have this revoked. They are not a sound family.
2007-02-01 17:45:26 · answer #8 · answered by Debbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better get a good lawyer to prove what your saying or they will see the child,or move now
2007-02-01 17:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by peg42857 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a lawyer, lady. They're the only ones who can help ya. Good luck!
2007-02-01 17:40:33 · answer #10 · answered by texasjewboy12 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋