im 17 years old and i just had my son 3 months ago. about 3 weeks after i had my son my mom has argued with me about my boyfriend/baby's dad. She dont like him for no reason, everytime i ask her why she dont like him she never has a reason. I go to her house everyweekend from thursday-sunday. She always argues with me because she says i dont spend time with her. I spend thursday friday and sunday with her but not on saturdays i spend with my boyfriend. She's always complaining about him and saying untrue and just bad and stupid things to me about him. He does everything for our son, he pays for everything! and he take good care of me too. How can i get her to understand that im going to be with him with or without her support? I've tried soo much to get her to like him and not argue with her about anything but it doesnt work nothing is good enough for her...i need help!!!!!!!!! im so stressed out i graduate in a few months and then im goin to college in the fall & im just stressed out
2007-02-01 09:33:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If what you say is true, sounds like you got a good guy there, sometimes it's hard for mothers to stop being mothers, and she has been your main influence most of your life and may just be having a hard time letting that go. Just do what you are and keep trying to spend time with her and hopefully when she realizes you are going to do what you are doing, she'll adjust, it sounds like she wants to be with you and your baby, maybe just a little too much, she has to go through an anjustment stage too.
2007-02-01 09:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by Mystee_Rain 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not a huge age difference between 14 and 17, but there is a large maturity difference. It doesn't matter how mature you are for your age, or how immature he is for his. 14 and 17 are just on different planets. At 14 you have no adult privileges, because you are nothing more than a child. At 17 you can drive, work, pay taxes, marry and join the military with parental consent. In a few months he will be an adult. You are much more a child than adult and he is much more adult than child. I know it's hard, but dating in teenaged years are confusing. People change and mature at different rates, making large age groups difficult during this period. Sometimes even dating someone a year older or younger is too much right now. Not because of age gaps, but because at the maturity levels. The age of consent in most areas is 16. Him being 17 and you being 14 creates a strong struggle. If anyone found out he was even spanking your but, making out with you, or doing ANYTHING sexual it would be the end for him. And personally i don't think that's fair in a relationship . Relationships are all about being able to be intimate and close to a lover, that is why it's best to date in legal ages that way you can do so. You don't want to ruin his life over this. So my advice if you Truly love each other, wait a year until you're 16. I mean if it's really going to work out it will when you're more mature and legal. I won't jump to the conclusion that he's after you for sex, but he is with you for a relationship. And with relationships come sexual feelings and pressure to fill those desires. So it's going to happen (well from your paragraph including oral sex it is already happening) but it's just not legal.
2016-05-24 03:04:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't like him because she feels he's made your life complicated with being a young mother. Im proud of you. You seem as though you have a good head on your shoulders. Stay in school and get a degree. What field are you looking in?
Are the bad things she saying about your man is he's cheating on you, he doesn't love you, he's using you? Look, tell your mom that you enjoy hanging out with her on the weekends but if all she is going to do is disagree with you and disrepect your boyfriend, then you're going to need to limit your time with her. Argueing about it doesn't make the fact that she doen't like him change so just agree to disagree. Tell her that he didn't run away and is taking care of his responsibilities, you and baby. She's probably scared he'll leave you and hurt you like I would be if I was your mom, she loves you because she's trying to protect you. Its something that us mothers do! You'll be the same way with your son when he meets the girlfriend you don't approve of. Hopefully he'll love you enough to understand the qualities you dislike. Sometimes we see the ones we love make costly mistakes, I take your son wasn't planned? We'll your dealing with it the best you can and she needs to respect your decisions. Reassure her that you love her and respect her looking out for you and leave it like that. Is your mom going to help you watch your son when you go to college or is the baby's daddy helping you? I wish you the best let me know how it goes.
2007-02-01 10:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by anabanana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't up to her, she should be glad you boyfriend stuck around for your baby, now that you are a mother yourself, she has no say in any of the decisions you make. She might just be angry with the fact that he got you pregnant at such a young age, but she needs to get over it, because there is a real child involved in all of this, tell her you can't just leave him for no reason, and that he is a wonderful father and boyfriend. All that matters is that he treats you and your baby good, and she should be smart enough to see that. I'm sorry you feel like you're in the middle, but you can't make her like him, just tell you "if you don't like him, then fine, that's your choice, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop liking him, so I'd prefer you stop complaining to me about everything you think. I have enough to worry about, than to hear you complaining, mom I love you, but please stop stressing me out so much!" I hope that helped, and best of luck to you and congrats on the new baby!
2007-02-01 09:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by bluemoon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i would talk to her and explain how you fell and say to her I have a baby which needs my attention more than you so you are going to have to get used to it, plus you are with the dad which is great. Just remember your baby comes first no one else, you don't want your baby in the house if you and your mum are arguing all the time, its not fair on the baby.
Maybe you should just visit your mum and not stay with her over the weekends and get a place with your babies dad.
Your mum has to realize you have moved on now and growing up.
Good luck this is a hard one.
2007-02-01 09:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion you have a tuff situation it may takes some time and may over time pass but for now she has her reasons not being there i cant tell you why? maybe you remind her of her when she was your age? maybe something about your boyfriend reminds her of someon she doesn't like? Maybe she is just worried about you? who knows all you can do is try to talk to her or maybe you can try counseling or a family mediator try communicating on your own and if it doesn;t work try other things you can also maybe start your own support group for moms and teens with babies so people can vent thier feelings and maybe with other people there wont be so much pressure who knows just my personal opinion and ideas hope things get better for you hang in there take care of you and your baby.
2007-02-01 09:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy Tease-Sex With Sassy Radio 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't know what stressed out is. You have only begun. If you are still living with her you need her support. Without it you will not make it. College, work, a new baby. That is next to impossible without her. Good luck, life will get exponetially more difficult over the next year, I hope he sticks it out with you.
2007-02-01 09:40:16 · answer #7 · answered by nil8_360 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what i did was i had told my boyfriend everything my mother likes and then i told him to try some of those things (except for the girly type things) and then once he found two things he liked out her things then i told him to take my mom to my house and on the way there try to talk about the things they had in commen and then he did it and they was kind of rustlin round a lil but not like they used too after that and now they are like brother and sister
2007-02-01 09:42:53 · answer #8 · answered by SwittieHeart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is just disappointed with you and him for being parents at such a young age. But mostly she is angry at her self for letting this happen, she blames herself, and takes it out on you and your boyfriend. Just give her time to come around and she will. Hang in there you need all the support you can get, and good for you to continue with your schooling!
2007-02-01 09:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by mama L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey your mom doesnt like him because he got you pregnant she feels like he took away her little girl. She will get over it in time as long as he is good to you and takes care of the baby all that matters
2007-02-01 09:37:51 · answer #10 · answered by cwilsonhappylife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋