So, I have a twin brother and we have always been close, no matter who we were dating at the time. He started dating someone I went to highschool. She is crazy! and I mean that bad kind of crazy. She has to take meds to control her issues. My boyfriend and I went on vaction with them this summer and lets just say, it was horrible. She had a break down, where my brother had to throw her in the shower to calm her down. She tells him what to do all the time. For example we have an older brother and him and his wife are moving this weekend; we are helping. She told him that he couldn't go, cause she didn't want to go. She doesn't agree with what he wants in life. He used to call me all the time and now I'm lucky to see or hear from him. I have tried talking to him and it doesnt work. I am afaird that she is going to turn him into someone he doesn't want to be. An end note is that we got into a huge fight and we are no longer a speaking terms. what do do I dont want to lose my bro!
2007-02-01 09:15:27 · 6 answers · asked by jennisea04 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
by the way everyone, I have known her for 7 years and also was good friends with her at one time and I know for fact she is on meds and she has been in hospitals before.
2007-02-01 10:28:42 · update #1
Your brother's relationship is his own to manage; it might seem like your place to interfere but it isn't. He knows her better than you do and certainly in ways that you DON'T. The sexual bond is much more potent than the friendship bond which you never had with her anyway.
You should have enough problems of your own in life to focus on without taking on your brother's. If she is as bad as you say she is, he will find out for himself - trust him as you would expect yourself to be trusted. I know of no one who likes others to try to run their lives for them; would you like it?
Having to take medication 'to control her issues' is a judgement statement that you aren't qualified to make: are you a doctor? Do you know _precisely_ what medications she is on or are you going on malicious rumours? Do you know _every_ illness that can be treated by her medication/s? Besides which, Judge others not, lest ye be judged - you might find _yourself_ needing to take some drugs to help you through some difficult times and I'm sure you wouldn't want people to turn against you during those times. Maybe your brother thinks now is not the best time to cause his girl any more trauma by dumping her while she is obviously very vulnerable.
Please try to take a step back. I realise you are concerned for him but there is a saying: you can lead a horse to water but you cannot MAKE it drink. Try to force anyone to do something and they will resist. Give your brother a few days and then e-mail him with an apology, saying that although you thought you were acting in his best interests, you realise that you should have trusted him to make his decisions himself. Tell him you will always be there for help if he ever needs it but that from now on you will let him run his own relationships.
I think you'll find he welcomes this, but you must be prepared for him to stay with her. The real problem here may be your own difficulty in letting your brother free to make his own mistakes. Parents often make the same mistake and it can cost them dearly in terms of their relationship with their children.
2007-02-01 09:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well all I know is that you need to call and leave your brother a message and tell him you really dont want to lose him but he needs to realize that he is giving up his whole life for a crazy person who is taken control of him and who doesn't really act like she loves him and you need to tell him he can do better than some one like that.
2007-02-01 09:22:10 · answer #2 · answered by princess_bee_2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with an SMS, ask about him (as though nothing has happened) and just wish him a "good weekend" for example.
You can email from time to time, and continue sending txt sms.
Don't over push. Don't over keep in touch with him, don't over contact him. and do not get into the matter of his girlfriend controlling him, because you'll be putting him in the shoes of choosing 'my sis or my girlfriend' which is not sweet.
Hopefully, he'll get back to his senses.
Like I said, from your side, try to communicate and contact him from time to time... but do not expect him to keep in touch or socialize with you often..
Good luck.
2007-02-01 09:28:58 · answer #3 · answered by Serendipity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time until he recognize it himself and he will come close to the family again, but any violence movement from the family will push him deeper in this "trouble"...
2007-02-01 09:21:01 · answer #4 · answered by vandom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make her life miserable.
whenever she comes over spill water on her and say it was an accident....or talk to him tell him that his gf is some crazy-*** ***** who has no life, that's an easy way to put it.
2007-02-01 09:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by kimmz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always remember blood is thicker than water remind him that you would never do or say anything that would hurt him intentionally. remind him that you wouldn't be stepping in unless you had real concerns.
2007-02-01 09:20:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋