i moved to a new place and after a month my roommate and i "hooked up" but did not have sex. well we were about to when he stopped himself, saying he was sorry. I was dating someone else so I too was sorry. After the whole ordeal we decided not to speak about it again. I then left the guy I was dating. but feelings for my roommate turned best friend kept growing stronger. I tried to deny them, I tried to play it cool. We became great friends and always joked, flirted, and fought about everything. It's been nine months and although it doesnt happen on a regular basis we still hook up and have sex once a month. I don't want to be used or be a friend with benefits. I know ive become that. He doesnt want to be in a relationship, but wants to have sex with me? he moved recently and for the first few weeks called me over everyday to help him with random things but never made a move on me. we spend a lot of time and he told me he cares about me. but why doesnt he want to be my bf?
2007-02-01 07:44:17 · 6 answers · asked by insearchofsolace 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like he does respect you as a friend. Has sex with you sometimes because he is attracted to you. That's a good start because with some guys, strong feelings can grow slowly over time. It is possible his feelings are growing too, not just as fast as yours. He may be confused....not asking for an exclusive relationship until he is sure of his feelings, understands them, and what they mean to him. You could have a discussion with him about your growing feelings and ask if he feels the same way.... although this may scare him...and he may not respond as you think or hope.
Just be the best friend you can. Have fun with him and bide your time. Watch carefully how he treats you and look at the things he does for you outside of the bedroom. Guys sometimes have a very difficult time discussing feelings but more often show them through their actions.
Good luck.
2007-02-01 08:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth: He's just not that into you.
He likes you as a friend and he finds you attractive, but he doesn't respect you enough to be man enough to step up to the plate and commit.
If I were you, I would completely disconnect yourself from him.
Don't answer his calls, don't call him.
If he shows up on your doorstep and you can't avoid him, tell him this: "Friends don't kiss and friends don't sleep together. I'm partly to blame for allowing it to happen, but the truth is, I'm not ok with what's happened and I don't think you are truly my friend.
I'm taking some time away from you to think about what I'm doing and where I'm going in life."
Then, take ALL the time you need and really think about what messages you send to guys. Be a stronger woman and don't ever put up with that crap or allow it to happen.
If nothing else, he'll never try to take advantage of you again - and maybe he'll start having some respect for you.
Good luck!
2007-02-01 08:00:03 · answer #2 · answered by TamTam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his friend with benefits because you let it happen - be honest with yourself, what do you want from your relationship with him? If you want something more approach him, talk to him & find out where he stands. If it's not something he is open to then move on!!! Life is all about being happy with yourself - you will find your own happiness if you believe in yourself. Good Luck!!
2007-02-01 07:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to be your boyfriend because you've already givin up the goods. He may even like you but just don't know how to express himself. Try talking to him and he doesn't respond then he just want you for the sex. Why haven't you talked to him?
2007-02-01 07:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by step b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably don't want a commitment right now. Give it time and stop putting out and see what happens.
2007-02-01 07:51:09 · answer #5 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't want to be your b/f because he's getting exactly what he wants anyway without commitment,i really think that your being used.
2007-02-01 07:49:25 · answer #6 · answered by TOM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋