Ok, so, my grandmother died yesterday, and I found out last night. Her funeral is set for Saturday near Pittsburgh, PA.
My husband is due in Raleigh, NC on Monday to swear in for Navy OCS and he ships out for 3 months next Friday. We have been planning for a week and a half now to head to Raleigh on Saturday, swear in, and visit with his family for the rest of the week until he ships out.
I cannot do both, and I am trapped in the middle in southern Maryland. I was looking forward to one more week with my husband before he goes away for 3 months, and on the other hand, my family is naturally expecting myself and my almost eight month old daughter to be in Pittsburgh on Saturday. If I go to Pittsburgh, I will just head into Ohio and stay with my family for a couple of weeks, as I had planned to do after I saw my husband off for the Navy.
I am upset that I might have to suddenly say goodbye to him when I thought I had a whole week left. What do I do? Do I go with him or to PA?
2007-02-01 07:24:31 · 20 answers · asked by Person 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My grandmother had been dying for a couple of months now, and I had already said goodbye to her a month ago right before she lost touch with the world. I feel I've already said my goodbyes and going to the funeral would be me being there for my family rather than getting my own closure, whereas, I could be having a happy time with my husband and daughter in NC before he ships out.
2007-02-01 07:34:46 · update #1
It's his training. I know 3 months sounds like a lifetime...you know, you were there for me. Like I told you, I think in your heart you have already made that decision. Do what you think you need to do, not what anybody else thinks you need to do. Everyone grieves in their own way. You are the only one that knows what's right for you.
2007-02-01 09:57:35 · answer #1 · answered by Theresa C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go to the funeral, your family needs you now. The funeral is only one day maybe you can make it to the funeral and then fly out to Raleigh to see your husband on Sunday or Monday before he leaves. I hope that your husband is understanding and is not making you feel like this is a choice between him and your family. It will be hard no doubt about it but like one of the other answers said you have the rest of your life with your husband and you need the closure with your grandma. Good luck.
2007-02-01 15:50:43 · answer #2 · answered by heatheranne102777 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel, but that's your grandmother. You only get 2, and losing one is very rough. Are you certain that when you said your goodbye before she "lost touch with the world" that you have closure, Complete Closure? You should honestly ask yourself that. Even though your husband departs in one week's time, I'm sure he'll understand that you want to see your family. You may be the rock they need at this point in time. In my family, my mother is the rock, and we are all thankful that she was at each and every funeral we had. I'm sure your family will be very appreciative of you taking time out to see them. You love your husband, and he loves you. If he's the type of man I believe he is, he'll want you to go see your family in Pitt.
2007-02-01 15:44:50 · answer #3 · answered by Andrew B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if I was the grandmother, I would want you to be with your husband at this time. I think that the granmother doesn't need you to be there, but your husband does. I think the family should understand the priority. You can go there following your husband's departure and pay respects then, at her grave, and have a memorial service or some kind of memorial type thing at that time. that way you can do both things, just not at the same time.
2007-02-01 15:34:33 · answer #4 · answered by mary_n_the_lamb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you get married, your pirmary responsibility is to your husband. You have already said goodbye to your grandmother, I'm sure she would understand your missing her funeral. Go with your husband, then once he has shipped out, go stay with your family. You will have plenty of time to talk about the good times with your grandmother then... Your parents may be upset, but they will get over it.
2007-02-01 15:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, goodness... you do have a problem. But, you are saying goodbye to your grandmother for the very last time. Be thankful it is not your husband. This is a temporary separation from him. Being short changed a week does throw a wrench into your plans, but really, this is the only time to honor your granny and also to show support for your parents. It will comfort them to have you near.
2007-02-01 15:34:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to the funeral. You have the rest of your life with your husband and it's only three months, you'll never see your Grandmother again.
You're family needs your support. You're husband should understand this.
Just make it up to him when he gets back.
2007-02-01 15:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by tarnishedhalo85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband really loves you then he will understand that it was your grandmother and you need to go home and pay your respects , and this is somthing that you won't forgive yourself if you don't. Oh by the way I 'm so sorry for you lost , she not suffering any more.
2007-02-01 15:29:55 · answer #8 · answered by duckie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you said your goodbyes to your grandmother already, and if you were close as I think you were then she'd understand. Go and celebrate life with your husband and your daughter. you've made your peace.
2007-02-01 15:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by xusbnd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go and be with your husband before he leaves, if you knew your grandmother didn't have all that much time and said your goodbye's already your family should understand.
you could however go to the gravesite when you do have more time.
these plans you made with your husband before this happened should be kept. and it will be awhile again before you get to spend time with him again.
good luck :)
2007-02-01 15:51:14 · answer #10 · answered by ~muffun~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋