Her mom gave up her rights and is 1000's of miles away. My husband works 3rds and before we were married I worked full time and he would wake and take care of her when she got home from school. Well I quit my job to go back to school for dental assisting and now my husband wakes up at about 6:00 eats dinner and goes back to bed until he has to leave for work. I bring his daughter to sports practices and events while he sleeps. I have also had a few job offers that he wouldnt let me take because he wants me to be a "housewife" right now. He pays for everything for me but I also have an income from an insurance policy that my parents left me. I put the downpayment on our house that we just purchased but he pays the payment. My question is I want a child of my own but he wants to wait. I feel that if I can care for his child then I should have my own. I love my stepdaughter like my own but I want a baby of my own is this selfish. I have also quit taking my bc without his knowledge.
2007-02-01 07:23:39 · 11 answers · asked by karen s 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think this is a totally unfair situation for number 1 your step daughter, and number 2 YOU. It's unfair for your step daughter because you (naturally so) don't recognize her as your own daughter, you want your "own" children. What's her life going to be like once you do have more children.
I also think this is a totally unfair situation that your husband pushes his daughter off on you. He should be stepping up to the plate and spending more daddy time with her. Yes she is HIS daughter, he should be waking when ever he has to, leaving work when ever he can, to raise his daughter. Not place all this on you. I say make a stand, tell him his daughter is HIS responsibility.
What I think is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, and selfish is you quitting birth control with out his knowledge. When it comes to deciding on weather or not to have children, THE NOs ALWAYS WIN. Why? Think about it. Your risking him either taking off for betraying his trust, or him not being fully committed to his new child. THAT to me is wrong.
2007-02-01 19:49:30 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you ready to have a baby TOGETHER? Because a child should come into the world when both parents are aware of the sacrifices it takes, rather than an "oops" baby that was concieved under false pretences.
I would say you guys should sit down and discuss the matter like adults. Show that you are responsible, and that half of the decision is yours. Although, you might want to be married a bit longer before you have kids. Sometimes its nice to get to know eachother awhile.
I was 19 when I got married, and on our 2nd anniversary we got pregnant. I'll be 22 when I have the baby, and I feel like I got some time with my husband, and we know that this baby will be coming into a loving stable relationship and home.
2007-02-01 07:33:37 · answer #2 · answered by Soon2BMommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish at all to want your own child. I don't know all the details, but your husband is being more selfish by making you stay at home with HIS child, no matter how much you love her. He might feel like he has some sort of right to tell you what to do because of the age difference...? You shouldn't lie about stopping the bc, and you need to talk to him about how he's making you feel. It needs to be a respectful, serious, mutual decision. Not one person making the decision for both.
2007-02-01 07:41:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems like a gross lack of communication before marriage...When do you ever need to get your husbands permission to do something to better yourself...sure if he was marrying so he could have a mother for his child..he should probably let you in on the deal...and im sure he probably did...the key is to not let your current situation become too comfortable that it becomes the way things just are...you have to work on it and change often...if you husband refuses to get on the same page and you both arent comprimising ...then sorry to say things will only get worse...i wish you luck...if your smart enough to ask for an opinion ...im sure you already have one about it.
2007-02-01 07:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by LeiMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish at all to want your own baby and if your staying at home now I don't see how this wouldn't be the perfect time for you to have your own. I would talk to your husband and explain how you feel to him. Believe me I know I am in same postion you are only I have two step daughter's now one is 7 and the other is 4. An I want to have 2 others of my own.
2007-02-01 07:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sound like you answered your own question. Just be prepared for him being pissed of when he finds out you deceived him and got pregnant . His first reaction will probably not be a good one, but in time if he really loves you it should work out. You are so young , it may be better if you wait a while to your husbands ready, it would probably cause less drama.
2007-02-01 09:12:11 · answer #6 · answered by messtograves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants a house wife than whats the problem with having another child. You are taking care of one im sure you can handle another one. But, you should talk to him about not being on the pill wouldnt you fell guilty getting pregnant.
2007-02-01 07:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
contained in the mid 70 s, at the same time as i grow to be in my previous due youthful ones, i grow to be in R.O.T.C. and grow to be qualifying with the M16A1 rifle and that i positioned all of my images interior a 6 inch circle at three hundred meters...with conflict points of interest. My GySgt couldn t have self assurance what I had purely finished and concept I had one way or the different cheated on the qualifying (he grow to be status proper there and watched me shoot!). So i grow to be ordered to redo the qualificaion and the outcomes were exceptionally a lot a similar. i grow to be then ordered to have a watch exam and that i examined as having 20/8 resourceful and prescient which as you understand from studying this thread is amazingly uncommon. many years later I had to have 2 major again surgical procedures and for numerous months after i needed heavy doses of morphine to regulate the soreness. After coming off the morphine i noticed my vosion wasn t very nearly as acute as before and a visit to my eye well being care specialist reveled that the prolonged use of morphine had quite ruined my p.c. up eyesight and that i needed to positioned on glasses. My distance resourceful and prescient had replaced slightly yet i grow to be nonetheless waiting to envision expressway indications lengthy before maximum individuals ought to even SEE the letters on the signal a lot less quite be ready to examine what the signal reported. And now at age fifty 8 i will nonetheless obviously see human being leaves on timber 2 hundred meters away, yet with each and each 3 hundred and sixty 5 days that passes I require a clean prescription for my glasses so i will examine a e book.
2016-12-03 08:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish at all for you to want your own child, but quitting your BC without his knowledge is conniving and wrong. The last thing you want to do is conceive a child that he doesn't yet want.
2007-02-01 07:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by Julie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u r not selfish
everyone wants their own birth child that has ur resemblence
u should tell him u off bc be4 he divorces u
tell him you wanna get pregnant or the part below the hips is not for him lol
2007-02-01 07:28:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋