It is our first child and although he should be back by the time the baby arrives, he (and I) feels like he is missing it. I send him pictures of my growing belly and he has a sonogram picture with him. What else will make him feel involved and a part of it too? Also, do you think this will affect his relation with the baby?
2007-02-01 07:02:07 · 16 answers · asked by shellshell 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
their relationship will be fine. I have had 3 pregnancies with my husband gone to Iraq and such. The first I was 7 mos pregnant and he didn't come home until she was 15 months old.
Granted it took her a couple of weeks to get used to sharing mommy, but now they are best buddies.
My second he was here on and off during pregnancy, (more off than on),and was gone back to Iraq by the time baby was 3 months old. Again, baby was 15 mos when he returned. The 2 of them spend all day long doing Guy things, and my son can't wait for daddy to get home when he is gone.
Now I am pregnant with number 3, and guess what...... he's going again! lol
There is only so much you can do to keep them involved. Make sure you discuss all your appts. in detail (he'll ask that you stop, lol), give him access to any websites you use for info so he can check things out himself. My husband loved the books about preparing for babies, he read them front to back, repeatedly lol.
Let him have some freedom in baby naming. It sounds crazy but thats one of the most important things to a man. If by some chance he doesn't make it back in time, keep the red cross number handy so they can reach him and he can call asap. (mine called within 3hrs of delivery), take a lot of labor pics (maybe not the gory stuff, lol) and even video if possible. Depending onwhere you are stationed each hospital has different policies.
Most of all DON'T WORRY. Give them time to bond, and if he is back before baby comes, he will just pick up where he left off.
2007-02-01 07:20:44 · answer #1 · answered by Chrissy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you're feeling so stressed. I think it's actually a good thing that your husband is willing to tell you exactly how he feels- it's far better that he feels comfortable to say something than if he didn't talk to you about it at all. Just remember that his feelings are probably shifting and changing all the time. That's totally normal- I'm the one who's pregnant and some days I don't feel that excited any more either- I wonder if it's all a big mistake, or how I'll do as a parent, or how it might affect my relationship. Other days I'm so excited I can hardly contain it. What you need to do is listen to him and talk to him about why he feels the way he does. Is he worried about being away from you, or about his new responsibility? Does he think he won't know what to do with a daughter? Maybe he's worrying about you but he doesn't want to say it in case he upsets you. Don't try to change his opinion, and try not to let it upset you. You could also tell him all the reasons you're excited to be having a baby, and let him know just how you feel about it and what you need from him to support you. I'm sure he'll be totally fine when the baby arrives, but in the meantime it's normal to have uncertainty. This is a huge life change for all of you. Good luck.
2016-03-29 00:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by Rosa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I applaud you for keeping your husband involved in your pregnancy, as this is such a special time in a couple's marriage. This will most definitely affect his relation with the baby. He's bonding with the baby each time you share info with him about the pregnancy, by sending him "belly" pics. I'll bet he has looked at the picture of the "sonogram" a thousand times already. Tell him what the doctor says, each time you go for a monthly checkup & tell him what a wonderful dad he will be & how lucky your baby will be to have a father like him. Share with him, when you feel the baby move & kick, etc. Talk to your baby about "daddy" & share with your husband, the things you say to your baby. All the best to the three of you!
2007-02-01 07:15:22 · answer #3 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're doing a bang up job already. My youngest was born while I was in Antarctica (it was early winter already there) 1972 -1973. There was no such thing as EMAIL and PHONE calls (we COULD make HAM RADIO patches ONCE IN A WHILE). Our last mail call was in early February. We got a message thru the military message system via Red Cross when my son was born. I didn't see him until he was almost 9 months old.
You and your husband are so very fortunate to be able to communicate as you are. If your husband comes home after the baby is born, it may take a while for the baby to get used to him. It took my son about...don't want to scare you...2 years before he REALLY accepted me. I don't think that is the norm. We only really started to get along about 2 years ago (he turns 34 this month) and maybe that's because he's in Oregon and I'm in Virginia. hehe This may not help but there have been thousands of families in the same situation you are now. Just remember he will have a son/daughter before long and all this will be a foggy memory. God bless and good fortune!
(USN/retired)
2007-02-01 13:40:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Making dvd's of you reading to the baby, maybe putting stuff together in the baby's room, maybe even the midnite raids on the p=nut butter & pickles.... then send him the dvd (one of those portable dvd players are very affordable) also, send him a small tape recorder & let him record messeges (dated) for the baby, when you receive the tapes you can then record yourself playing the tape he sent.... once he's home you can put this all together as a "home movie" & part of the "baby book" for your child to have when he/she is older...(that would be priceless....) also, you should send him a bootie (the ones you intend to have the baby wear home from the hospital) this way he can have it in his possession & when he returns you'll be together - you'll have the set together again....the way it should be...
(Good Luck & Congrat's on the baby & please know that you're hubby is in the thoughts & prayers of people all over the US..)
2007-02-01 07:12:56 · answer #5 · answered by rjsluvbug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing good. Send him pictures. Talk to him about your doc appointments when you can. Have him involved as much as possible. When the baby is born if he can't be around much show the child pictures of his father and make videos. That way he can see and hear his dad.
2007-02-01 07:11:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him a letter every day, do not miss one. If you have a name for the baby, sign the baby's name also. Why don't you research the stage the baby is in and have your child relate what the stage is like as he/she progresses towards birth. Just reach out and hold him with your words until he gets home!!!!!
2007-02-01 07:16:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing an awesome job. Maybe send him sonagram videos of the baby?
You don't have too much to worry about if he'll be there by the time the baby arrives.
If you want the kid to get used to his voice, put the phone on your belly and have your husband speak.
2007-02-01 07:08:49 · answer #8 · answered by Grant G 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IF at all poss-able have the father record the sound of his voice and play the tape for the baby. On the other hand recording the sound of your belly is a good idea for him to get an idea of the child. IF there is a favorite scent of his smell it often (it sounds hokey but it worked for us :) Good luck with the little trooper!
2007-02-01 07:09:19 · answer #9 · answered by DietrichVonQuint 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him all the wonderful things you are doing to keep yourself and your baby healthy and well.
Maybe write a diary and at the end of each month send it to him with pictures of your growing belly.
I am sure everything will go well.
Good luck.
2007-02-01 07:13:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋