My kids spend a week at my house and then a week at my husband's. My husband wants me to call the kids when he has them. I prefer not to because when I do, they start crying and say that they want to come to my house. I asked him about this and he says that they are fine after. The woman who helps him with the kids says that they cry themselves to sleep after they talk to me. When his parents kept them for a week and his parents said that they cried after I called. It seems better to just love them alot when I see them.
2007-02-01 06:35:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
How old are the kids? Maybe ask them if they want you to call.
2007-02-01 06:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by tabithap 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent make sure there are no other issues that you should be aware of as to why they want cry and want to come home. Pre-write letters to let them know you love them and send them when they visit their father. I would suggest not calling them until the day before they return home so them missing you will only have to be dealt with just a short time. My son does the same thing when he visted with his father for the summer. I just wrote letters, or told dad when I would call and left voice mails. I also sent care packages.
I sometimes think more of the problems lie with you, mom. If you hear about them crying ,you worry. If all is well, then find somthing to occupy your time while they are gone, and don't call.
2007-02-01 15:18:31 · answer #2 · answered by nene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are the kids? If they are under 6 or so, I would say to just let it go. If they are over 6, it seems like they are old enough to understand the concept of "one week w/daddy, one week w/mommy".
My parents divorced when I was 11. I saw my father on Wednesdays and every other weekend. From the time that I was 11 until he died (12 years later...) he called me AT LEAST 5 times a week. I appreciate the fact that he wanted to talk to me and see me so much.
I will also throw this out there -- sometimes when I was at my moms and my dad would call, I would start crying and pretend I didn't like him just to get my mothers sympathy and keep them at loggerheads with each other.
KIDS ARE EXCELLENT MANIPULATORS.
2007-02-01 14:57:46 · answer #3 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot depends on how old your children are. It would break my heart too. But i wouldn't want them to feel sad after talking to on the phone when they should be enjoying their time with dad. Maybe you could explain to them that the time with their dad is for him and that they can always talk to you when they get home. If they are old enough you coudl tell them how it makes you feel when they cry after talking to you. Maybe that would help. As long as they know you care about them and love them i think they will understand if you didn't call.
2007-02-01 15:13:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. I didn't call them, I had their father call me just to let me know everything was good. We also had a rule that if they missed me my ex- husband would let me know if he thought it was ok to talk to them(he is there and knows if there is a problem or if they are just playing games which my 2 oldest ones did often) . For the most part we had no issues after a while
2007-02-01 14:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by CamPIL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should call, I had the same problem with my daughter, so I would call her dad and ask how they were doing, but I wouldn't talk to her, I made sure she didn't know it was me calling, cause this would make her cry also. Just let them know you love them before and after they go to their dad's.
2007-02-01 14:47:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do they cry that is what i would really want to know. i don't think that is normal maybe they should only see dad on the weekends. That is too long to be away from mom. They need you. I would get to the bottom of their being so upset. It sounds like it's too much on them. i would have the court change that in a hurry. Call your kids they miss you alot.
momof4
2007-02-01 14:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by mary3127 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mother used to have this same problem with my brother and I when we were kids, but I'll tell you something. She kept calling, and I am glad she did. If she didn't call, we'd have thought she didn't love us or want us.
Call them. You can also send a little note or letter to each of them in their travel bags.
2007-02-01 15:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by kelly24592 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a good quesiton, Well the fact that they cry for you shows that they love their mommy very much and they miss you. If that upsets you then, I say don't call. Just cause your ex thinks you should, doesn't mean that you should. If you decide to call, I wouldn't call every day.
2007-02-01 14:46:10 · answer #9 · answered by bdcolditz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. That is SO heartbreaking to hear they cry when missing you - it must be!!! I'm sorry for your situation. I'd pour on the extra love when it's your turn. I'd explain it to their father, but if he 'doesn't get it' too bad. The kids' emotion stability comes first. Maybe some counseling would work too. God Bless!
2007-02-01 14:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by curiousgeorgette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋