What do I say???

Question

There is a girl that i work with...sit next to...and ALL day long she is eating. There is not an hour that goes by that she does not have something in her mouth. She's a big girl and getting bigger and quite frankly it makes me sick to my stomach that she eats sooo incredibly much. None of it is good for her. Her mom owns the snack shop in our building so she gets supplied w/all kinds of fattening things. She never goes to the doctor, but i know that she will kill herself eating so much!! How do i tell her that? What do i say so that i don't come off rude? It's really bad.......

I'm sorry, but she's not cute & we have a "biggest loser" contest going on, but she did not perticipate. No one put me in charge, i'm not trying to run her life. I just wanted some insight. How am i being rude if i haven't even said anything to her? I hadn't planned on saying anything to her at all..and if i did i wouldn't comment on her weight...just what she eats.

Answer 1

Who put you in charge of her health? What gives you the right to be so judgemental of another human being? You are being rude and rationalizing it as concern is bogus. I have no doubt the woman knows she is overweight and knows why as well, it's up to her whether or not she will change her dietary habits and it really isn't any of your business, nor is it in your control. You need to take a big step back and examine your own motives on this one. If you simply must do something, leave an apple on her desk, offer her celery sticks or carrots. But for heaven's sake don't say anything about her weight, you will only damage her self esteem which is probably already in the gutter.

Answer 2

If you feel an obligation to this person then why don't you invite her to start walking with you on your lunch break. It will be good exercise for both of you and can build a real friendship. If this doesn't work, try asking her to join a yoga class or something like that with you.

Now, if you are just worried because she is heavy and that bothers you, then you are out of luck. It is her body and her life. Unless you really care about this person, it is not your place to say anything. You will only hurt her and make yourself look cruel and uncaring.

So ask yourself which it is and go from there.

Answer 3

I wouldn't recommend saying anything at all. People don't tend to appreciate criticism, constructive or otherwise. What I would do is lead by example. You say you sit next to her at work. Why don't you try bringing in healthy snacks for you to eat? She may notice when she's eating a Snickers and right next to her you're eating a banana. Or when you guys talk, discuss how your last class was at the gym. All in all, don't tell her, SHOW her.

Answer 4

well if you two are close or have a good friendship then just tell her straight out that they way she is eating is unhealthy. you don't have to mention her weight but just say that u have been watching what she eats say you saw an article that said if u keep on eating like that you won't love very long. tell her that your her friend and you are telling her that b/c u care about her and don't wanna see anything happen to her. if she is a friend to you then she will understand.

now if she acts up or doesn't care just leave it at that. it is her life and she is lving it the way she wants. i mean at least you made an effort and tried.

maybe even talk to her mom about it. tell her you care about her as a friend and you don't wanna see something happen to her. ask her mom to cut down on what she can get.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Well really it isn't your place to say anything but I cannot say that I would not feel the same as you do.
Ask her if she is OK. A lot of people are emotional eaters and dont realize that they are eating so much. Maybe suggest healthier alternitives such as fruit and veggies. Maybe offer to workout with her. If she is a friend you should help in anyway you can. Even if she isn't you can still offer.
Good luck!

Answer 6

Your department or group should start a "a biggest loser" game and what ever team lose the most weight get a $100 gift card to each person. And the one person who lost the most weight out of all the department or group get $500 gift card. And you can ask her if she wants to join.

Answer 7

Well i would definately tell her because if it was me i would want to know as people do judge you by your appearance. Simply say in a polite lighthearted voice that you've noticed that shes been puttin on weight and that if she just shed a few pounds she would look amazing. I hope you can have the courage to tell her as its for the best in the long run. :-)

Answer 8

We often eat too much because we are unhappy. May be you can start by asking her how she is, find out what is bothering her?
Talk to her mum( may be not such a good idea)?
Bring something healthy at work and give her some of it to try?

Answer 9

tell her that there are no double doors to get in and out of the building ... in case of fire she will be stuck inside ...lol ...!! just kidding !!! tell her nicely that you need to talk to her about her health ... and tell her that as a friend or "friend" w/e that you feel that you need to tell her that you are concerned and dont want anything bad to happen to her... then you break the news ... your a heavy girl and i think that you should not be eating so much tell her to try replacing her snacks with healther ones...like strawberries or grapes!!

Answer 10

That is so sad. Tell her mom to stop giving her so much food and how if she keeps on eating how she is, she might not live to eat another nutterbutter. Tell her that her heart will give out and show her some really ugly pictures so she knows how hideous it looks. Just come out and tell her... there isn't any better way...